


There Are No Coincidences In This World

by i_have_an_au_fetish (luciferslegions)



Series: Thor/Tsubasa AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Norse Religion & Lore, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Reality, Bifrost, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Dimension Travel, F/M, Fólkvangr, Gen, Ginnungagap, Jötunn Loki, Laufey's Good Parenting, M/M, Memory Loss, Multiple Universes Colliding, Odin's A+ Parenting, Parallel Universes, Plot Twists, Possessive Thor, Protective Thor, References to Norse Religion & Lore, The Nine Realms, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:39:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 48,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferslegions/pseuds/i_have_an_au_fetish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being dragged on another one of Thor's trivial quests, Loki stumbles upon some ruins adorned with markings of unfamiliar origin.  What once was lost should have remained that way.</p>
<p>SLOW UPDATES</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alfheim: Do Not Touch The Artifacts.  Thank You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slow, so please don't tell me to "Update soon" or else I will spit on your backpack.

The sound of a page turning was music to Loki's ears. It was one of his most favorite sounds, but he would never admit that to anybody out loud. One noise he did _not_ particularly enjoy was the one he was about to hear in a few seconds.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"Brother! I know you are in there!"

Loki grinded his teeth and gripped the edges of the book tightly until his fingers started to cramp up. When the assault on his door persisted, he set the book down and got up from his chair to greet his "guest." Upon opening the door, Loki saw that the other male was dressed in the same armor he always wore, but he seemed to be on a mission.

"Greetings, Brother!"

"To what do I owe the _pleasure_ of your visit?" Loki deadpanned.

"My friends and I are going on a quest! You should come with us!"

"Another one?" Thor seemed puzzled by this and Loki shook his head. "And how do your _friends_ feel about me coming along?"

"I do not understand."

"Oh please, Thor. Even you are not _that_ much of a fool. They do not want me there. Everyone and their grandmother knows that."

"Oh come on, Loki! It is somewhere we've never ventured before! And you can read those boring tomes any time."

"And you and your stupid friends can go gallivanting any—” Loki scowled at Thor when a smirk spread across his face. "Shut up, Thor."

"We shall see you at the Bifrost in one half hour!"

"But I never agreed to this! Thor!"

The only response he got was the man's booming laughter, which echoed throughout the corridors. Loki heaved a sigh and hit his head on the door frame a couple times in frustration. He entered his room again and started getting ready. Whenever Thor's mind was made up, and when he made other people's decisions for them, there was nothing that could be done.

~*~

After twenty minutes, all six members of the traveling party were gathered at the Bifrost. As they entered the golden sphere, they saw Heimdall stationed at his usual post. Without any verbal cues, he ascended the dais and slid his golden sword into its sheath.

There was a spiral of colors as the Bifrost awakened, then a beam of light shot out of the cone-shaped point and pierced the sky. The six Asgardians were yanked forward into the rapidly spinning doorway, and within seconds they had reached the other side.

As far as Loki was concerned, he was the only member of the group who had been left in the dark about where they were going. When he took in their surroundings, his face contorted in fury.

"Alfheim?! Thor, you said we were going somewhere we've never been!"

"I know. We haven't seen _all_ of Alfheim," Thor said with a grin on his face.

"You stupid...I should not have come here."

"Then why did you?"

Loki turned his gaze towards Fandral and scowled at him. He wanted to slap the smirk off his smug face.

"Alright, we are going on ahead. Loki, if you want to stay here, you can."

"Fine. I'll _hold the fort_ ," Loki said petulantly as he sat cross-legged on a rock.

Thor merely shook his head and gestured for the others to follow him. Fandral had barely taken a step before falling flat on his face. While they had been arguing, Loki used his magic to tie Fandral's shoelaces together.

"LOKI!"

"Hehehe..."

After the others disappeared from sight over the hillside, Loki cradled his chin in his palm and sighed. He wished he had brought something with him for entertainment, but the thought had not occurred to him. Loki figured they were actually going somewhere _interesting_ , not just another opportunity for Thor to show off.

"Stupid Thor."

A water droplet landed on Loki's nose, then several more on the top of his head and rolled down his scalp, through the collar of his shirt. The dirt became speckled as the rain descended harder by the second, and the sky continued to darken. The storm clouds were growing nearer, and a low rumbling could be heard in the distance. Loki got up from the rock and wrapped his arms around himself.

"Stupid Thor."

Loki held a hand up to cover his eyes, and after wandering around for several minutes, he was able to find a small cave opening. Once inside, he created a flame and held it in his palm. He uttered a spell and a majority of the rain water dried away from his hair and clothing. And people told him that learning magic was a waste of time.

After taking a few steps, there was a clattering sound. Loki lowered his hand that was holding the flame and he saw that there were bones littering the floor of the cave. Whether they were animal bones, or if they belonged to something else, he was unsure. He managed to find the edge of the cave and felt his way around until he got to another opening. 

He walked inside, and at first there was nothing of interest. He suddenly reeled back when he nearly walked off the edge that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Loki took the flame in his hand and separated it into two. He then tossed one into the abyss to see what was down there, if anything.

The flame revealed stone structures, staircases, old pottery, other artifacts. There was an entire city built inside the cave. A staircase was crafted around the perimeter of the ledge and it led down into the ruins, so Loki used his other fire to help him see his surroundings. Once he made it to the bottom, Loki created several more flames and left them floating in the air. 

From what he had learned in his schooling and outside reading, Loki knew nothing about any hidden ruins on Alfheim. The construction didn't seem consistent with the architecture the Elves were known for using, even the techniques that had long been abandoned. 

Loki picked up a broken piece of pottery and brushed the dust off. There was writing of some sort, but it was nothing he recognized. It wasn't the script the Elves used, they were not Runes, it wasn't the language of the Vanir. Loki glanced around and saw that the writing was on the buildings and walls like graffiti. 

This was not the same as other cave drawings and writings discovered by historians. There was something...different...about this place.

The room started to get darker, and at first Loki thought his flames were going out. When he turned around, he saw that the small fires were being drawn upwards to the far wall. Loki climbed on top of old houses and ascended another staircase until he reached the wall. There was a perfect circle carved into the surface, and inside the circle was a large painting. From what Loki could tell, the image appeared to be of a bird, except there was no body.

Loki laid his hand on the wall to see what kind of paint was used, and the lights went out.

~*~

Thor and the others had just claimed another victory for Asgard and were now heading back to "The Fort." The fact that they were soaked to the bone did not seem to bother them in the slightest.

"Well, I think the Elves will be pleased with us! We did them a good service today!" Thor boasted.

"I agree. And I am sure there will be a scrumptious feast awaiting us when we return."

"Volstagg, do you ever think about anything besides food?" Sif asked. "Honestly..."

There was a loud rumbling from the area they were headed, and the five stopped walking for a moment because the ground was shaking so much.

"Thor, was that you?" Fandral asked.

"No." There was more shaking.

"Isn't that coming from—?”

"Loki!"

When they reached their destination, the sixth member of their group was nowhere in sight, and the rumbling persisted. They decided to split up and search for him, Thor choosing to go alone.

"Thor! The noise is coming from this cave!" Sif shouted, followed by Hogun.

"Is Loki inside?" Thor asked, slightly out of breath.

"I do not know. He may have gone in to avoid the storm." Thor ran past her and entered the cave. "Thor wait! We don't even know what is in there!"

Thor couldn't see a thing. Just darkness. He raised Mjolnir above his head and blue sparks shot out, hitting the ceiling of the cave and spreading throughout the interior. When he saw the doorway at the other end, Thor headed towards it. The quakes were making his teeth rattle, and it was becoming harder for him to remain on his feet. Thor fired another lightning bolt inside the room, and what he saw made his heart stop.

Loki was hovering in the air, limp as a rag doll, and he was being pulled into the wall. There were curved markings on his forehead, hands and forearms that were glowing blue. The same color as the wall painting behind him. Thor kicked off with his feet and held Mjolnir in front of him as he flew in the air to the other side of the room. 

"LOKI!"

Thor wrapped his arms around the smaller male and pulled as hard as he could to try and free him from the unseen captor. Suddenly they were falling and Thor grunted in pain as he crashed through the roof of a house. As he sat up, he gasped when he saw that the wall painting had attached itself to Loki's back. It seemed to be alive, glowing brighter.

There was a burst of light, and then multiple lights floated upwards and phased through the ceiling. When Thor reached for one, he could have sworn it looked like a feather.

"Thor! Thor are you alright?"

"Yes Sif, I am alright."

"What about Loki?"

"I do not know, I shall ask him. Loki, how do you fare?" There was no response. "Loki?"

Thor lifted the other male to look at him, and he appeared to be sleeping. But something about all of this seemed wrong. Thor shook Loki's shoulders and didn't get any reaction.

"Come on, Loki. This is not the time for your jokes." Thor placed a hand on his cheek, and the skin felt like ice. "No. Please don't be dead. Please."

"Thor, we need to leave. We do not know what caused the earthquakes, or if it is finished," Sif said. "Maybe the Healers can help him." Thor merely nodded.

~*~

After making it out of the cave, Heimdall opened the Bifrost and brought them home. Even though he was using Mjolnir to fly to the Healing Rooms with Loki, Thor's world was moving in slow-motion. Once Loki was brought in, Thor was told to wait outside while the Healers examined him. Sif stayed with him, saying this is more important than getting drunk with the Warriors Three. 

"It is all my fault, Sif."

"You cannot blame yourself for something like this, Thor. You could not have known this was going to happen."

"This would not have happened if I hadn't pushed him into coming with us. He wouldn't be..."

"Loki is going to be fine. He is going to wake up and call you an idiot, just like he always does." 

"You are right. Thank you, Sif."

Thor and Sif looked up when the door to the Healing Rooms opened and a woman approached them. Thor walked up to her to ask how Loki was doing, but closed his mouth when he saw the solemn expression on her face.


	2. Asgard: Fun In "Dysfunctional"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that this has anything to do with anything but these pictures remind me of the opening scene/pages of Tsubasa:
> 
> http://mokonosuke7.tumblr.com/post/70057695855/i-want-to-touch-you
> 
> http://www.deviantart.com/art/Collab-with-Florbe-442481998
> 
> That is all.

Thor clenched and unclenched his fists as the woman merely stood there silently. She seemed hesitant to say anything, as if the only thing she could tell him was bad news.

“How is he? How is my brother?”

“It would be better if you saw him, yourself.”

She turned around and entered the room, expecting Thor to follow her. He looked over his shoulder at Sif, and she too accompanied them. They continued to the far corner of the room, and there were curtains drawn. Even though the Healers had yet to tell him any news, Thor was hoping the sense of privacy didn't mean...

The fabric was pulled away, and Thor had to hold back a sigh of relief when he saw that Loki was still breathing. He was much more pale than usual, almost as white as the bed sheets, but he was still alive.

“He looks so peaceful,” Sif said quietly.

Thor nodded and brushed a few stray bangs from his forehead. He recoiled at the ice-cold sensation, as if it burned him.

“Why is he so cold?”

“He is dying.”

Thor and Sif turned their attention towards the source of the voice and saw an older woman standing at the foot of the bed. She was the Elder Healer.

“Dying? How? I thought you were able to heal him! That's what you do, is it not?”

“Thor,” Sif scolded.

“There is nothing _to_ heal,” the Elder Healer commented. “Just an empty shell.”

“He is breathing, meaning he is still alive,” Thor retorted. “My brother is _not_ an empty shell!”

The door slammed open, and clacking high heels echoed in the room. Sif took a few steps back as Frigga rushed over and knelt next to the bed, clutching at Loki's hand.

“Perhaps we should discuss this elsewhere,” Thor murmured.

“No. I wish to know what happened to my child,” Frigga said with a slight tremor to her voice.

Thor had been watching his mother, so when a hand pressed against his forehead, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Pardon me, Your Highness. I need to know what you saw,” the Elder Healer said. “Try to remember it as vividly as you can.”

Thor closed his eyes and concentrated on what happened inside the cave. 

It was dark, and the ground was shaking. When he first walked inside, he stepped on some bones, but he wasn't sure if they belonged to animals or Elves. He used Mjolnir to help him see, and he found another room. Loki was inside, being pulled into the wall. He was glowing, and there were blue lines on his arms. 

There was a painting behind him, and it looked like wings. When he pulled Loki out of the wall, the painting came with them. It was glowing too, and then it exploded and disappeared through the ceiling. Loki wouldn't wake up, and he was so cold.

The hand on Thor's forehead moved away, and Thor felt like he couldn't breathe. He was lightheaded and sat down on the bed behind him.

“Thor, are you alright?” Sif asked.

“Yes. I am fine.” Thor looked at the Elder Healer, and she seemed to be very deep in thought. “What has happened to him?”

“I do not know what that place was. But what I _do_ know is that the lights you saw were Prince Loki's memories.”

“His memories? How can you be sure?”

“That painting you saw in the cave, when it appeared to attach itself to his back...it had fused with his heart. Powerful magic laid dormant in that place, and when it felt Prince Loki's magic, it latched onto him like a starving animal with scraps.” Thor and Sif looked at each other with wide eyes. “If my hypothesis is correct, Prince Loki's memories seem to have scattered throughout the Nine Realms. And if they are not found, he will die.”

“How will I know if I have found one? What do his memories look like?”

“Feathers?” A voice said from below. They looked at Frigga, who was holding a pale blue feather between her fingers. “It was stuck to your cape.”

“What a coincidence,” Thor chuckled, taking the feather from his mother.

“There are no coincidences in this world,” the Elder Healer said. Thor looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“Maybe you unconsciously grabbed one,” Sif suggested. 

Thor shrugged, not really sure what she meant by that. He placed the feather on Loki's chest, and it was absorbed into his body. Frigga let out a gasp.

“He feels warmer.”

“I wonder how many of them there are,” Sif muttered. Thor quietly excused himself and headed towards the exit. “Thor, where are you going?” 

“Getting ready.”

~*~

Thor could not remember ever packing for a trip this quickly in his life. He just hoped he had enough possessions with him...and the right ones. When he opened the door to his room, he stopped short. His four friends were standing outside with their own packs.

“My friends, what are you all doing here?”

“Waiting for _you_ ,” Fandral answered.

“Look, I appreciate the notion, but this is _my_ burden. I am the cause of all this, so I am the one who will go—”

“Shut up, Thor,” Sif interjected. “Enough with this stubborn act. You need our help whether you want to believe it or not.”

“Alright. But I cannot just abandon my duties to Asgard for...I do not even know how long this will take. I must tell my father about this journey.”

“We shall meet you at the Bifrost shortly.”

As he watched his friends go, Thor went in the other direction to the throne room. He left his belongings outside, excluding Mjolnir, then entered the room empty-handed. When he was several feet away from the dais, he got down on one knee and set Mjolnir on the floor.

“What is it, my son?”

“I am sure that you have already heard about Loki.”

“Yes. Such a pity.” Thor furrowed his eyebrows at the man's comment. “The point, Thor.”

“It is my fault this has happened to him, and while I do not wish to neglect my duties to Asgard, I also cannot neglect my duties as an older brother.” Thor curled his hand into a fist, trying to get his breathing under control. “I have been told that Loki's memories are scattered throughout the Nine Realms, so I must search for them. If I do not, he will die.”

“No.”

“What?”

“One life in exchange for hundreds is no contest. I cannot allow you to go.”

“But Father—!”

“Send someone else in your place if you must, but you are to stay here,” Odin said as he stood up from his throne.

“Do you not care about him? Are you not concerned about his well-being?”

“He was supposed to be dead long ago!”

“What are you saying?” When he received no answer, Thor got up from the floor and climbed the stairs. “What do you mean he is supposed to be dead?!”

_“Enough!”_ Odin narrowed his one good eye at him. “This discussion is _finished!_ ”

Thor breathed heavily through his nose then stomped out of the room. He grabbed his pack from the floor and headed towards the Healing Rooms.

~*~

When he opened the doors, he saw that Loki was no longer on the bed at the far end of the room. He wasn't _anywhere_. Thor walked up to the nearest staff member and asked where he had been moved.

“Prince Loki was taken by your friends. They came and got him just a short while ago.”

Thor ran out of the room and nearly crashed into someone. When he righted himself, he saw that he had almost knocked over his mother.

“Mother, I am so sorry.”

“You should be more careful, Thor.”

“Loki has been moved. I do not know where my friends have taken him—”

“They did not tell you? To the Bifrost.”

“What? But Loki is in no condition to travel with us. He is not even awake.”

“I know that, but it was my idea. You can't really expect to keep track of all the feathers you collect. You saw what happened to the one you brought here.” Thor pondered over this, remembering how it was absorbed into Loki's body. “It would be much easier if Loki was with you, and you know this.”

“Yes, I know. I just...I am worried something will happen to him. He is so vulnerable this way.”

“I trust you to take care of him. That is your job as his older brother.” Thor smiled at her, but it went away just as quickly.

“Father does not want me to go. He said it would be better to let Loki die.”

“I shall handle your father. If there is anyone in this world he will listen to, it's me.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Thor said as he drew her into a hug.

“I wish you the best of fortune in your journey.”

After pressing one final kiss on her forehead, Thor departed from Frigga and went to join his friends.

~*~

When he reached the Bifrost, he saw that they had brought one of the horses from the stables. He figured it must have been in case Loki remained in his comatose state for sometime, and they wouldn't have to carry him everywhere. 

Heimdall was waiting inside the Observatory, and when they approached him, he remained stationary.

“Because this is a unique operation, it will require a unique means of transport,” the Gatekeeper said in his booming voice. “Prince Loki's memory fragments are scattered throughout the Nine Realms, but there are _other_ worlds outside those known to us.”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked.

“While this universe exists, other universes exist simultaneously. There are other Asgards besides our own. Other Midgards and Alfheims...”

“So what you are saying is there could be two different versions of us?” Fandral asked.

“Yes, and no. These other universes may not always follow the same flow of time as we do. They could be in the past, the Asgard of your father's father. Or the Asgard that will prosper after your lives have ended.”

While they were carrying on their conversation, Thor climbed up on the horse and once comfortably situated, Hogun passed Loki up to him. Thor wrapped his arm around Loki's middle, keeping a solid hold on him in case the travel between worlds should become perilous.

“Heimdall, how will we know if we have found one of Loki's feathers? Will they always be in a world we visit?” Sif questioned.

“I cannot say. Only Loki will know. Because they are a part of him, _he_ will be the one to feel their presence.”

“But he is unconscious. How can we expect to find them if he is not awake to help us?”

“The first place to look is for signs of unnatural phenomenons.” Sif was about to interrupt him, but he stopped her. “You will understand my meaning when you see it.”

“And how do we let you know when we want to travel to a different world?” Thor asked.

“The same way you always contact me,” Heimdall replied with the smallest upward curve of his lips.

Before Thor and the others had a moment to prepare themselves, Heimdall had already opened the doorway, and the beam of light shot through the darkening sky. They could feel their feet sliding across the floor as the wind gusts coaxed them towards the portal. The horse noticed it too, and Thor had to try and calm it down when it attempted to buck them off.

“Good luck.”


	3. Midgard: Mother Nature Is A Bitch

The sky was dark, and the clouds were heavy with rainwater. Woodland animals were gathered at a nearby watering hole for a drink, but a disturbance from above made them scatter, quickly disappearing into the trees as if they had never been there. 

The clouds separated, and a pillar of light struck the ground. As the colorful rays dissipated, all life seemed to go quiet. The wind ceased in its gusts, the leaves of trees and bushes stilled. The animals that had been so eager to let down their guards for just a short moment, were silent as the dead.

Only the figures on top of the hill showed any signs of awareness. The four standing at ground level took in their surroundings, keeping a firm hold on the weapons they held in their hands. The man on the horse was pulling on the reins, because the animal kept stomping its hooves and snorting. 

Judging by his frustrated expression, this had been going on for quite sometime. 

“Which one of you picked this horse? It is a menace!”

“Sif did it,” Fandral said.

“What?! I did not, Fandral!”

“I think, perhaps, it would be wisest for you to tone down on all of the shouting,” Hogun suggested. “We do not know what may be watching. Or listening.”

“Right. Sorry,” Sif mumbled. “But I'm still not the one who picked the horse,” she hissed before stomping on Fandral's foot.

“At this rate, if I cannot get it to calm down...” He looked ready to give up. “Here, somebody help me with Loki.”

Hogun walked over and managed to catch the unconscious figure that was nearly dropped on the ground. Once the blonde had hopped off the horse, it galloped off, vanishing into the woods with the other creatures.

“Sorry about the horse, Thor,” the red-haired man said.

“Think nothing of it, Volstagg. It was too much effort to deal with and would have gotten us killed, anyway.” He walked over to Hogun and took Loki from him. “So, where are we? Any ideas?”

“Judging by the environment, this could be Vanaheim, Alfheim, Asgard, or Midgard,” Sif said.

“This definitely isn't Asgard, we are sure of that,” Fandral said.

“Oh? And how is that?”

“Does this look like Asgard to you?”

“Not _our_ Asgard. Remember what Heimdall said? We may end up in Asgard, but it could be in the past, or the future. Who knows where he'll send us?”

“I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this,” Fandral chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

A drop of water splashed on his hand. He looked up, and he squinted when another drop landed in his eye. 

“Seriously, Thor?” Sif remarked.

“What? It's not me.”

“Well, can't you...turn it off or something?” Fandral asked.

Thor grumbled under his breath, then he closed his eyes. He breathed through his nose slowly, and his brow furrowed in concentration. For a few seconds nobody moved, and then Thor cracked an eye open. Nothing had changed, and it was still raining. Actually, it was raining harder.

“That usually works.”

“We should get Loki out of the rain,” Sif said as she pointed towards the woods. “Since we do not know what is in there, let's just stay near the edge.”

“Right. Good plan.”

~*~

After they made sure all of their belongings were secure, they picked up their packs and headed towards the woods. What had been deafening noise before went completely silent, because as soon as they crossed the threshold into the forest, the noise of the rain was gone.

Thor propped Loki against a tree and wrapped a blanket around him. He wiped some wet hair out of his face, and he released a sigh of disappointment because he was cold again. Thor looked out towards the open valley and saw that the rain hadn't seemed to let up, but it was still completely silent within the forest.

“It's a bit strange about the rain, is it not—?” When he looked over his shoulder at his friends, Thor saw that they had not yet gotten settled. They were standing completely still, as if they were...frozen. “My friends, what is wrong? Is this place insufficient?”

He approached Sif, and when he laid a hand on her shoulder, it felt as if she was made of stone. Thor pulled his hand back, and when he looked at her face closely, there was no movement of her eyes. None of his friends were moving. But why was he?

Thor stepped away from the others and walked back over to the tree where he had left Loki. For a moment, he clutched at his wet hair and tried to get his breathing under control, but he was finding it nearly impossible.

Thor looked down at the other male. Ever since he had saved him from that thing in the cave, if he could call it “saving,” Loki's outer appearance had not changed. If it wasn't for the slight movement of his breathing, Thor would have believed that Loki was frozen, too. 

He got down on one knee in front of Loki and placed a hand on his shoulder. Thor could even feel his cold skin through the blanket. Thor had to try not to take out his frustrations by squeezing Loki's shoulder.

“I need your help, Loki. They are not moving, and they could be dead.” Thor clenched his other fist and took in a shuddering breath. “There is something in these woods that has frozen them, but for some reason we are immune. I do not know how to help them. Please Loki, tell me what to do.”

He stood up with a huff and stomped out through the trees. The pounding drops made his eardrums ache, but he didn't care. His soaked cape was weighing him down, but he didn't care. He was clenching his hands so tightly, that his nails were cutting into the skin of his palms. But he didn't care.

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

For the first time since he arrived, Thor had free reign over the storm. Lightning flashed across the sky, and thunder shook the ground beneath his feet. Thor knew that now was not the time for this, however. He needed to focus on figuring out a way to save his friends from whatever was holding them captive.

He turned around and entered the forest, and the sound of the rain vanished once again. Thor wiped at his face and rubbed the water out of his eyes, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't think of the cause as to what was happening. But then he remembered something that Heimdall had told them: the first thing to look for would be strange phenomenons.

“What if this is because of Loki's feather?”

Thor didn't know where to start looking, or how vast these woods actually were. And he had no idea whether or not he was the only life form that was still able to move. He didn't even know _where_ they were!

Thor knew it would do him no good to just stand there thinking about it. He looked around to make sure there was no one, and nothing, nearby. And after one last check to see if Loki was...okay...he ventured into the woods.

~*~

Several minutes passed, and Thor didn't cross paths with any other creatures. This both relieved him and unsettled him. He remembered their horse running in here, so it would be inevitable for him to see it at some point. Unless something happened to it.

As he continued through the labyrinth of plant life, Thor became more and more on edge. It was almost as if he _wanted_ to find something potentially life-threatening. Anything was better than this eerie stillness and feeling of helplessness.

“Maybe it is not here. I have been searching for a long time, and still I find nothing.”

As if in answer to his musings, a faint light shown through the trees up ahead. Without any hesitation, Thor approached it, and when he reached the edge of the trees, he had to gather himself.

It was almost as if he had entered an oasis. The grass beneath his boots was soft and dry, as if the rain had not touched it. A shallow brook cut through the center of the area, which opened into a small lake with water as clear as glass. What surprised Thor the most was all of the different bird songs around him. From where he was standing, Thor could count at least twenty birds flitting about.

He spotted a large shape on the left side of the watering hole, and he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes when he realized it was the horse. But he now knew why he hadn't seen any animals earlier. They were all _here_. But why? What was so significant about this place?

At the very center of the circle, on a mildly steep hill, was a large tree surrounded by thick shrubs. The tree had a bent and twisted trunk, and the branches were covered with red berries. The shrubs also had similar red berries. As Thor looked closer, he could see a bluish light coming from a hole inside the trunk. He had a feeling he knew what it was.

When he tried to reach for it, something blocked his hand from even touching the tree. He pulled his hand back, because whatever was barring him made his hand go numb. He made another attempt, and this time he kept pressing forward. There was some sort of barrier around the tree.

“No. No no no no no. Why won't you...let! Me! Pass!”

Thor pulled Mjolnir from its holster and struck it against the barrier. The shock waves thrummed throughout his entire body and into the ground. The water sloshed behind him, and the animals fled into the forest. There seemed to be no affect on the barrier, but a creaking sound made Thor look down.

The shrubs around the tree turned out to be holly bushes, and they were growing like vines. A few tendrils inched across the ground before wrapping around Thor's ankles and cutting through the material of his boots. The sharp points of the leaves scraped the skin of his legs, but he had no time to worry about it.

Thor held Mjolnir towards the sky and called upon the storm, sending a lightning bolt down and striking the tree. He did so again and again. He had to reach up and cover his mouth and nose when the smell of rotting flesh filled the air. He had no idea where it was coming from, because he figured he was the only living being who had not run away.

This time there was creaking from above, and now the tree branches were moving towards him. If he thought the holly leaves were pointy, then he was sorely mistaken. The thorns on this tree had to be an inch long, and they were trying to fillet Thor.

He brought another lightning bolt down on the tree, and for a few seconds it recoiled. He reached for the feather, but the branches lashed out at him faster than he could blink. Blood was running from his scalp into his eyes, and the stench of decaying flesh was making him nauseous. By now the holly was up to his knees, and it was trying to pull him to the ground.

Knowing this would probably be his last chance, Thor struck the tree once more. He did not wait for the tree to react and he pushed forward as hard as he could. He stuck his hand inside the trunk and grabbed the feather, and when he pulled away, he fell backwards and landed on the ground.

The holly retracted and the tree branches, for the most part, straightened themselves as much as they could with regards to how much damage Thor had inflicted. Once he was certain the plants wouldn't attack him again, Thor got up from the ground, brushed his hands on his pants, and returned to the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NAAATUUUURREEE!!!!! 
> 
> Fucking trees, man. Anyway, if I lost anybody, I'm basing this on Celtic lore. According to the Celts, trees were very symbolic, and I used holly because it's supposedly lightning-repellant. And the other tree was hawthorn, which is why it smelled so bad (hawthorn branches smell like rotting flesh when they're broken). Even though it would have made more sense to use an apple tree, because apple trees can symbolize magic and were believed to transport people to other worlds when the fruit was consumed, I felt like using hawthorn because I wanted to rip Thor to shreds. I'm a horrible person. 
> 
> And because they're total morons and won't figure it out themselves, the reason why Sif and TW3 are all frozen except Thor and Loki is because they don't possess any magical abilities, while Thor has his lightning and...Loki is Loki.


	4. Midgard: I'm Covered In Blood, My Brother Hates Me, And I Have A Clone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, they were on Midgard, and it centers around the British Isles during the Iron Age when the Insular Celts lived there. And the markings on the tree by Loki's head are Ogham letters. They really are just a bunch of lines.
> 
> And I know it seems a bit soon to feature Hiddles and Co., but this will be multiple chapters. :)

The journey back to his friends seemed much shorter to Thor than the first time when he was venturing inside. Of course, before he had been focused on intently observing his surroundings. This time he merely had his gaze turned ahead of him, and he wasn't really searching for anything.

When he reached the spot where their group had entered the woods, Thor's heart sank upon seeing that his friends were still immobile. 

“How can this be? I retrieved the feather, and the magic seems to have stopped affecting the trees. Then why has nothing changed...?” Thor visibly wilted as he looked down at the feather he clutched in his left hand. “Oh.”

He turned towards Loki, who had unsurprisingly not moved a single inch since Thor left. He knelt in front of him and lowered the blanket down to his elbows. Thor took in a shuddering breath, and then he held the feather up to Loki's chest. It vanished through the fabric of his shirt, just as it had before.

“So, I think the best way to go about this would be—” Sif's voice cut through the silence.

“Sif! Thank the Nine you are alright!” Thor shouted as he stood from the ground and immediately embraced his female companion. “All of you!”

“Of course we are, Thor. We have barely even started—”

“Good gods, Thor. What happened to you?” Volstagg asked.

Sif managed to lean away to see what her friend meant, and when she saw the blood, a gasp escaped her lips.

“A tree attacked me,” Thor answered with a slightly noncommittal shrug. 

“Clearly we have missed something.”

“I hate to interrupt your conversation, but Sleeping Beauty is awake,” Fandral said.

Thor nearly barreled over Fandral in his attempt to quickly get to Loki. He lowered himself into a crouch next to him, and he had to refrain from touching him. The others soon were gathered around at a safe enough distance, silently watching.

Loki still had his eyes closed and looked like he was having a bad dream. He was squirming and appeared to be trying to relearn how to use his limbs. There was a collective intake of breath as the first hint of green was visible. With the slowness of molasses, Loki blinked open both eyes.

“Loki, thank goodness you are awake! How are you feeling?” Thor asked eagerly.

As soon as the man on the ground took in the appearance of the one who addressed him, his eyes widened. He attempted to back away from him, only to have his means of escape prevented by a tree.

“Thor, don't get so close to him,” Sif scolded. “Even if he _did_ know who you were, _anyone_ would be startled by all of the blood covering your face.”

“Oh. Yes, I forgot about that.” Thor wiped his face and head with his cape, hoping he had made some improvement to his appearance.

“Loki, my name is Sif,” the woman said in a soft voice.

“Who is 'Loki'? Why do you keep calling me that?” Loki asked sharply, occasionally darting his eyes towards Thor as if he was worried he might try to attack him.

“ _You_ are. That is your name.”

“Oh...” Loki nibbled on his bottom lip.

“Loki, how much do you know about yourself?”

For several seconds the young man was silent, and judging by the look on his face, the question made him uncomfortable.

“I don't...um...” He scratched the back of his head. “I don't think I know anything. Except my name, I suppose.”

“Well, that is why we are all here. To help you remember everything about yourself.”

“But who are you? And why would this be of any relevance to you?”

“As I said before, my name is Sif. This is Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun,” Sif said, gesturing to each man respectively. “Where we come from, they are also known as The Warriors Three. We are your friends.”

“And this big lug is your older brother, Thor,” Fandral said jovially, slapping Thor on the back.

“My brother?” Thor nodded with a smile on his face. “And...where exactly do you...we...come from?”

“Asgard! One of the Nine Realms of Yggdrasil. Odin All-Father and Frigga are our parents, and we are pri—”

“Whoa, slow down there, Thor. Let's not tell him everything at once. He just woke up,” Sif said. “We should get you off the ground.”

Loki was a bit shaky on his legs, understandably, so he had to lean against the tree at first. Thor had a pout on his face for being interrupted, but he knew that Sif was right. As the rest of the group talked amongst themselves, inquiring about Loki's health and debating what their next course of action should be, Hogun's full attention was focused on the tree.

“Thor, come take a look at this.”

“Hmm?” When he was standing next to his friend, the man pointed at a place on the trunk. Specifically, where Loki had been sitting just moments before.

“What do you make of these markings?”

As far as Thor could tell, it didn't appear to be any form of writing. It was just a long, straight, vertical line with shorter lines and dashes crossing it along the length. The spacing would hint that it had to mean something, but he had no idea what it could be.

“This is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.”

“Did you happen to see anything similar when you went into the woods?” Thor shook his head. “Curious.”

“I do not know why Loki and I were unaffected by the feather's magic, but I hope in our future travels that we do not encounter similar perils.”

“Thor, Hogun, I believe we are ready to depart,” Sif spoke.

“Very well,” Thor replied. 

With a nod from the other man, they stepped away from the tree and went to join their friends. After passing the threshold of the forest perimeter, the group was somewhat surprised to find that it was no longer raining. The sun was still hidden behind the clouds, but the weather had cleared up significantly.

“This place is so strange. I wonder where we are,” Volstagg muttered.

“We do not have time to dwell over that. We must move on,” Thor said to the man firmly. “Heimdall, we are ready to travel to the next world.” Just as before, the clouds separated and began to form a whirlwind. Loki appeared as if he wanted to turn around and run back into the woods, but a hand on his shoulder made him look up. “It is alright,” Thor said gently. “I will keep you safe. I promise.”

Loki stared at him for a few seconds, then lowered his gaze to the ground. He swallowed thickly and slowly nodded his head. He was not convinced, but he didn't exactly have a choice. 

What Loki was not aware of was that Thor also had doubts about his own words. After all, if he had just done his job like he was supposed to, then Loki would not have gotten hurt. If he hadn't failed at protecting his brother, then they would not even be here.

Just as the Bifrost pulled them up into the clouds, Thor felt a hand grip his upper arm.

~*~

The feeling of flying only lasted for a few short seconds, and the group found themselves soon touching down on solid ground once again. As soon as the Bifrost's power fully returned to their home realm and the area around them cleared, all they could see was green. But it did not come from a natural source.

Pale gray and blue rock formations rose up around them, and the ground was uneven, but something about it didn't feel right. And beyond that were green walls that extended higher than they could see.

“CUT!”

The Asgardians looked around for the source of the voice and saw a man sitting in a tall, rickety chair. He was wearing a bulky black object around his neck, and he had been looking through some sort of metal telescope, but it wasn't pointed towards the sky and it was still daylight. The man sighed, got out of his chair, and walked over to them.

“What are you guys doing? We've already filmed this scene. Chris, you are _supposed_ to be talking to Laufey,” the man said. Thor merely stared at him, wondering what the man was talking about and why he was specifically addressing _him_. “You aren't even in the right costumes. Where is Wardrobe?!”

“Ken, what's going on? Why have we stopped filming?”

Loki turned his head when he heard his voice. His eyes widened as a man who looked exactly like him walked towards them. Following behind him were five others...and they looked like Sif, Thor, and the Warriors Three.

“Wait... _Tom?_ ” The man with the strange neck device remarked. He looked back and forth between the two groups.

“Wow, casting sure picked some good stunt actors for us,” the man who looked like Thor commented, but his accent was different.

“Yeah, I don't think we've even been properly introduced. I'm Jaimie,” the Sif lookalike said as she held out a hand. Sif narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on her sword.

“Thor, what the _Hel_ is going on? Where are we?” Sif hissed.

“What makes you think _I_ know?” Thor said incredulously.

“Alright, alright. Let's take...fuck it,” Ken groaned. “We'll start again when I say so.”

As the movie crew and extras scattered, the Asgardians and six actors remained where they were. They continued to look at each other suspiciously, except for Tom, who was excited enough about this for all of them.

“Thor, this could be dangerous. We need to figure out where we are,” Fandral said in a hushed voice, turning his back towards the actors in case they were trying to listen in on their conversation.

“Are you really gods?”

Everyone looked at Tom, who had a huge grin on his face. While his co-workers rolled their eyes, because they were used to this, the Asgardians became even more apprehensive. When Tom turned his gaze towards Loki, he stiffened and moved to hide behind Thor's larger frame.

“Wow, I had expected him to be a bit more...Loki-ish,” the man who looked like Fandral commented with a raised eyebrow.

“Josh...” Jaimie whispered.

A low growl caught the attention of all of them, and while the actors merely glanced around, the Asgardians, minus Loki, drew their weapons and took a stance of attack. They were all on edge, and they became even more tense when they heard the noise again. It became apparent that it was very near to them. Tom started laughing when he saw Loki press his hands to his stomach.

“How about some lunch?”

“But we cannot partake in sustenance when we are in danger!” Thor exclaimed. Tom pointed at Loki, and when Thor looked at him, Loki blushed and shrunk under his gaze.

“There is no danger here. Come on, there's plenty to choose from.”

Despite what Tom said about there being no real threat, the Asgardians were still uneasy. But when they saw the long tables covered with plates of food, they completely forgot about what they had been worrying over. 

While Thor and his friends piled food onto their own plates, bumping into each other and occasionally fighting over one particular piece of chicken that Thor and Volstagg both wanted, Loki stood over to the side to avoid getting trampled on. Tom had come over to stand next to him, and for some reason he was staring at him. It made Loki a bit uncomfortable, so he turned his back towards the other male and rubbed his arm nervously. 

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?” Loki mumbled, still not facing him.

“It's just...since I'm portraying you, and now that I'm actually meeting you, it would be wonderful to learn about you. But all I'm doing is making you feel uncomfortable.”

“It's alright.” Tom didn't believe him, but he wasn't finished. “Besides, I am afraid I won't be of much help to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“It would seem that I know as little about myself as you do.” 

Loki rubbed his hands together, as if he was trying to keep warm. But from what Tom knew of the comic book character, as well as the version from legend, that couldn't be the reason. There was something weighing heavily on his mind, and it had been for quite some time. Much longer than just the short amount of time since the Asgardians had arrived.

“Did something happen to you?”


	5. Midgard: Size Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I'm bs-ing the stuff about the movie set and the way they filmed _Thor_ , since I wasn't there and have no idea how it was actually done. So don't complain to me if I got stuff wrong because I KNOW I got stuff wrong. There's no need for you to type more than necessary.

After everyone had gotten their food, Tom led the Asgardians over to a table with several empty chairs. He never considered warning them about how unsteady foldout chairs can be, so Thor and Volstagg nearly tipped over when they sat down. They would have taken the whole table with them if they didn't have the reflexes they did. 

The hostility the warriors felt towards the actors began to dwindle as their meal went on. It turned out that both versions were similar, in most cases. Jaimie tried to talk to her counterpart and learn more about her, but Sif's scowl remained intact and her hand never strayed very far from her sword. And then there was Loki.

Tom didn't want to push him too hard, but clearly there was something weighing heavily on Loki's mind. And from the way he was acting around Thor, it appeared that they had a different relationship from the one he knew of. It was as if they didn't even _talk_ to each other.

“Loki, you seem very troubled.” When the other male didn't respond, Tom continued cautiously. “Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen.” Loki was quiet again, and Tom thought he wasn't going to answer him.

“I have nothing to say.” Tom had to lean forward so he could hear him. “I opened my eyes, and I was on the ground in a forest. _They_ were standing over me. Sif told me my name is Loki and that they are my friends.”

“And you know nothing else?”

“Well...it is a bit foggy. But I was able to see something when I was waking up. I did not tell them about it.”

“Why not?”

“I did not think it was important at the time. And we left in such a rush.” Loki shrugged and pushed his food around on his Dixie plate.

“What did you see?” Tom wanted to take his question back when the other man froze.

“It was dark, and it was snowing. I was being carried by someone.” He furrowed his brow as he tried to recall his vision. It had quickly slipped his mind after he saw it, so this was not the easiest thing. “We went into a room, and I was placed on the floor. He was so much... _larger_ than me.”

“What did he look like?”

“Well...” Loki looked up from the table and glanced over Tom's shoulder. “There. The man Ken is talking to.”

Tom turned around and looked for his friend and former co-star. When he saw who Loki was referring to, he choked on air.

“You're sure?” Tom asked as he rounded on Loki. “You're _absolutely_ sure?” Loki nodded.

“Why? Is that bad?”

Tom swallowed thickly and rotated slightly in his chair. His gaze moved towards the two men again and he tightened his jaw.

“I don't know, yet.”

After Ken walked away to talk to one of the cameramen, the other man remained, flipping through the script and mouthing to himself. Covered in artificial ice and painted blue was the man from Loki's vision: Laufey, in human form.

~*~

After lunch, Thor's ego got the better of him, again, and he decided it would be a good idea to see whose Mjolnir was bigger between he and Chris. The actual hammer, not the other one. Chris tried to tell him it was only a prop, but Thor would have none of it.

It looked like a showdown in an old Western movie. Both men standing several feet apart, facing each other. Whether they would draw their guns—or rather hammers—at the same time, was uncertain. It would have probably been better, and less cheesy, if they didn't. Fewer eye rolls, at least.

Chris just held the fake hammer out and dangled it by the strap to show how lightweight it was. When Thor pulled his from his waist, his eyes nearly burst from their sockets. He looked down at the weapon in his hand and stared fiercely at it, as if it had insulted him.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Uh, sorry, mate. You're gonna have ta be more specific there.”

“What have you done with Mjolnir? This is a _fake!_ ” He threw it at the ground and it tumbled before landing at Chris's feet. “Tell me this instant where you have hidden it.”

“Wait, you think _I_ did somethin' with it? Isn't it, like, heavy?”

“He is right, Thor. They couldn't have taken Mjolnir,” Sif commented.

While Thor threw his tantrum and the others tried to calm him down before he potentially caused a thunderstorm that might ruin their filming, Loki was standing further away from the group, looking at something elsewhere. Tom walked over to him and looked for what he was observing.

“What's got your curiosity?”

“How many of those hammer props do you have?”

“Several. Why do you ask?”

“Is _that_ one?”

He was pointing towards an open space where a strange rock formation was protruding from the ground. The rest was somewhat difficult to see, but the handle was fairly distinguishable. 

“Yeah. It's for another scene. Mjolnir's embedded in the ground and Thor tries to pull it free, but he can't because he's not worthy to wield its power yet. Earlier in the movie, he makes a huge mistake that leads to the Frost Giants declaring war on Asgard and is banished to Earth and loses his powers, including the ability to use the hammer.”

“Something about that prop feels different from the others. I cannot explain it in words.”

“Do you wanna go see it?”

“Yes. But we should probably tell Thor.”

“Yeah. He's probably calmed down by now.”

~*~

As Tom said, Thor had calmed down...a little bit. He wasn't ranting and raving anymore, but he was obviously still in a bad mood and would punch anyone who looked at him the wrong way. Tom decided that Loki should be the one to tell him, since there was a greater chance that he wouldn't hurt Loki.

“Thor, I believe Tom and I may have found Mjolnir,” he said quietly.

“You have? Excellent! Where?” Tom was amazed at how quickly Thor's mood improved.

“We are not fully certain, but another one of the hammer props is over there. I noticed that there is something strange about it. Like an odd feeling.”

“Maybe it is one of your feathers.”

“Feathers?” Thor smiled, but there was a slight sadness behind it.

“It is nothing. Will you take me there?” Thor said as he laid a hand on Loki's shoulder.

Loki looked down at the hand on his shoulder, and Thor immediately removed it. The younger sibling then turned and began walking away, and Thor soon followed him. Tom watched the exchange and wondered to himself what must have happened between the two of them for such a rift to form. He too accompanied them, a few paces behind so as not to get in the way. After all, he was only human.

When they arrived at their destination, Thor immediately circled the makeshift pedestal and examined it. He scrutinized the construction of the rock formation and the artificial ground around it. He chewed on his bottom lip and hummed contemplatively. Finally, after over a minute of walking around in circles, he stopped and placed his hands on his hips.

“This makes no sense. How could I not have noticed the exchange? _How_ were they exchanged?” He huffed in frustration. “I should have noticed that I was not holding the real Mjolnir in my hand.”

“Can you get it out?” Tom asked.

“Loki, can you feel any sort of magic within this structure?”

Loki nodded and got down on his knees. He ran his hands along the rock, and he could feel a faint thrumming. He moved lower towards the ground and it got stronger, and then he noticed a faint blue light.

“I can see something. It looks like it's glowing.”

“Is it blue?” Loki jerked his head up towards Thor and furrowed his brow.

“Yes. But...how did you know?”

“I would say 'lucky guess,' but then I would be lying.” Thor heaved a sigh. “With regards to your question, Mr. Hiddleston, I do not have a solid answer for you. If I _do_ manage to remove Mjolnir from this...whatever it is...it will not be easy.”

“Well, I don't know if it'll work, but we could try breaking apart the artificial rock that's surrounding it,” Tom suggested.

“But doesn't that cost money?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, but there are loads more expensive things we destroy multiple times on a daily basis. Besides, later in the movie, Mjolnir does return to Thor, the character I mean, and the effects team has to alter this a bit when the hammer first breaks free. After that it's all CGI, computer-generated imagery, and green screen.” 

Tom was trying his best to explain it in simple terms so that the two Asgardians might understand him, but it didn't seem to be working. 

“Look, don't worry. If we get in trouble, I'll take the blame.”

“Are you certain? I mean, we would not want you to lose your job,” Thor said.

“I won't get fired. Besides, if anything, Ken would just chew me out for messing with the set. I'm used to it, since we worked together on a TV show and that's pretty much how our characters interacted with each other.”

“Well...if you are sure.”

“Getting your hammer back is the most important thing right now. Right?” 

“Yes. You are right,” Thor said with a forced smile. “Now, what exactly does your plan entail?”

“Hehe, ironically...we need a hammer.” The dumbfounded expression on Thor's face would have been hilarious, if the situation were different. "Don't go anywhere."

~*~

While they waited for Tom to get back, Loki was deeply caught up in removing the dirt from under his fingernails, the dainty thing. 

Thor had been wanting to ask him how he was feeling since he regained consciousness. His mood seemed to have improved while they were here, probably because of Tom. It made sense, seeing how they looked so similar. And Tom was just a nice person in general who seemed to get along well with everyone. 

Thor held back the small ounce of jealousy he felt towards the man, but it was not his fault. Tom was the best thing that had happened to Loki in a very long time, and Thor could never compete with that. If they weren't on this mission and needed Loki with them, Thor might have considered asking Loki if he wanted to stay. He seemed a lot happier here than he ever was on Asgard.

“Sorry that took so long! Everyone thought I was experiencing one of my 'episodes' again,” Tom said and rolled his eyes.

“'Episodes'?” Loki asked.

“Oh, I was originally supposed to be cast for the Thor role, so they think when I pick up one of the hammer props that I'm shifting back into the Thor character and I'll start swinging it at people.” His expression turned conspiratorial and he held the hand with the nails up to his mouth. “The truth is, I'm more like Loki. Props mysteriously disappearing and all that.”

Loki wasn't exactly sure if that was what he was like, if he made things mysteriously disappear like Tom said. All he could do was nod and pretend that he understood.

“Now, it's simple. All we need to do is chip at this rock until it breaks apart and you can get your hammer back.” Thor looked a bit uncomfortable, and Tom thought he was going to be sick. “What's the matter, Thor? Beneath your pay grade?”

Loki chuckled and Thor scowled at Tom. He puffed up his chest and clenched his hands into fists until the knuckles were cracking.

“Step aside, Midgardian. I shall show you who has the higher pay grade. I swear, by Odin All-Father, I will not bring dishonor to Asgard.”

“Be my guest, _Sir_.” Tom offered the hammer and nails to the flustered god. 

Thor took the items and, grumbling under his breath, crouched on the ground. He set all of the nails except one down and held it pinched between his thumb and forefinger. With all the concentration and discipline he could muster, Thor struck the hammer against the head of the nail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know which TV show Kenneth Branagh and Tom Hiddleston were on together, I'm talking about _Wallander_. Wallander (Ken) was always getting pissed at Magnus (Tom) and poor Magnus was so under appreciated. I miss the Magnus hair.


	6. Midgard: Who Are The Guilty Ones?

Three sets of eyes widened in awe when the nail fell from between Thor's fingers and bounced on the artificial dirt. It was nearly bent in half. Thor picked up the nail and stared at it with a confused expression on his face.

“I assume that wasn't supposed to happen,” Tom said. “How hard did you hit it?”

“That is the curious part. I barely touched it.”

“Maybe those nails are too small. I can see if we've got something bigger.”

“No, it would not do any good. The feather's magic is responsible for this.”

“Alright, what is this 'feather' you keep talking about?” Loki finally spoke.

Thor heaved a sigh and set the hammer down. He then sat cross-legged and slumped his shoulders in defeat. It was obvious that he did not want to talk about this, but this was relevant, since it _did_ involve Loki, so he deserved to know.

“It is the reason why you have no memory of who you are, or anything else about your life. And...it is my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were on Alfheim. You stayed behind while the rest of us went on ahead to...look for a monster to fight or kill. Because we were bored. When we returned, you had moved on to find shelter from the rainstorm I started. We then felt an earthquake and tracked it to a nearby cave. 

“I found you in there, and something was pulling you into the wall. I was able to grab you, but the painting on the wall had attached itself to your back. It then exploded into tiny lights and disappeared. 

“I learned later that those were your memories, and they were scattered throughout the Nine Realms, as well as parallel universes. We are now on a quest to find your feathers—memory fragments—and return them to you.”

“And...how many have you found?” Loki asked through clenched teeth. It was obvious that he was angry with Thor for doing this to him, but he had to keep his composure.

“We have collected two. And this is the third,” Thor answered, inclining his head towards the rock next to him. “We were told that when we travel to different worlds that _you_ are the only one who can feel the presence of the feathers, since they are a part of you.”

“That makes sense. You were able to see it down in there before,” Tom commented. 

“You were still unconscious since we left Alfheim, so I had to find the first two on my own.” Thor wanted to take that back when he saw the scowl on Loki's face. He didn't think Loki would get mad.

“So if the feather's magic is preventing you from getting to the hammer, why not focus on the feather itself?” Tom asked. “Place the nail down here and see what happens if you use a more direct approach.”

Thor stood again and picked up one of the nails. He placed it in the curve near the bottom, then lined the hammer up with the head. This time when he struck the nail, it didn't leave his fingers, and it didn't bend. What was strange was that he felt the same thrumming sensation from when he hit the tree with Mjolnir in that other realm.

He tried again, a little harder this time, and some of the material chipped away. Thor picked up two more nails and held all three together in his fingers, then brought the hammer down. A larger chunk flew off.

“We should have done this in the very beginning,” Thor said.

“Hey, what's going on here? What the hell's he doing to our set?” Ken asked as he approached at a brisk pace.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” Tom said with a smile.

“Oh yeah? Try me.”

“Alright. _That_ is the real Mjolnir.”

“You're right. I don't believe you.” Tom shrugged. “And I suppose you expect me to believe _that's_ the real Thor? And _he's_ Loki?”

“Not necessarily...but it's true.”

Ken heaved a sigh and ran a hand down his face. And that goofy smile never left Tom's.

“Just...watch him. Make sure he doesn't jeopardize the movie.”

“Don't worry, I'll take care of everything.” After Ken had left, Tom turned back to Thor. “Can I get you anything?”

“Well, while this is making a dent, it is not a very big one. If you have something larger that I could use, that would be helpful,” Thor answered, never halting in chipping away at the rock.

“Alright, I'll see what I can find. Maybe we have a sledgehammer somewhere...”

“I'll come with you,” Loki said.

“It's alright. I'm sure it won't take long—”

“I _want_ to go with you.”

From the tone of finality in Loki's voice, Tom knew he couldn't say no. It wasn't that Tom didn't want him to come, he just thought it would be better for Loki and Thor to spend some time together on their own. But it was clear that Loki didn't want to be anywhere near Thor. 

“Alright,” Tom complied with a nod. “We'll be back soon.”

Thor grunted in acknowledgment, and while the two lookalikes were walking away, he let out a sigh of disappointment.

~*~

While Tom asked some of the movie crew for a sledgehammer, earning a few head shakes and laughs, Loki stood nearby and kept his head down. When they finally found what they had been looking for, Loki had to suppress a groan. 

It wasn't that he didn't want Thor to break his hammer free of that rock, Loki just didn't want to go back. But Tom wasn't fooled. He knew that expression because he had spent time practicing it in the mirror.

“What's wrong, Loki? Are you not feeling well?”

“No. I mean—I am fine. Everything is fine.”

“Look, I know you don't want to, and I know that you don't want to hear me say this, but you're gonna have to talk to him at some point.”

“But he made me like this. Why should I trust him? Why should I trust _any_ of them?”

“Because they're good people and they care about you—”

“ _Do_ they? I don't think they care about me.”

“Loki, why would you say something like that?” At first Loki didn't say anything, but Tom wasn't going to let him off that easy. “Loki.”

“Remember how Thor said they found _two_ feathers?” 

Tom's breath hitched. He stopped walking, and Loki continued a few paces before pausing as well. When Loki turned towards him, he wouldn't look Tom in the eye.

“What did you see?”

Loki started shaking and let out a shuddering gasp. His eyes widened and he brought his hand towards his face. When he began tracing his trembling fingers over his lips, Tom immediately rushed over to him. The clatter of the hammer echoed throughout the studio.

“It's okay. You're okay.”

“What did I do, Tom? Why was I punished?” Loki muttered into Tom's shoulder.

“I don't know.”

But Tom _did_ know. From all of the myths he had read about Loki, the story of Loki having his lips sewn shut was one of the few that he did _not_ particularly enjoy. When he felt Loki clutch at his shirt, he let him. They remained that way until Loki's tremors ceased and his grip on Tom slackened.

“Are you ready to go back?”

“No...” Loki let out a sigh when Tom began rubbing his back.

“Thor needs our help.”

“I know...”

“It's something else, isn't it?” Tom asked as he pulled away to look at his double. 

“I do not want to go.”

“You mean...at all?” Loki shook his head. “Don't you want to find your memories?”

“What if they're all bad? What if I have no happy memories?”

“I don't think that's the case.”

“How can you be certain?” Tom smiled.

“Because I _know_ you. I have spent a long time learning all I could about your life, personality, the ways you use your magic.”

“I can use magic?”

“Oh yes, splendidly!”

Loki looked down at his hands and moved his fingers around. He heaved a sigh and shook his head.

“I do not remember how.”

“You will. Your magic is what sets you apart from everyone else, it makes you unique. It's...sort of like it's part of your DNA.”

“What is 'DNA'?”

“I really need to stop using acronyms...” Tom scratched the back of his head. “It's something that can't be taken away from you. Well, I guess that's not exactly true...”

“It is alright. You do not need to explain it to me. I am sure I will figure it out at some point.”

“Of course. You're well known for being very intelligent, so it should be easy.” Tom grinned brightly. Loki shrugged. “Now, let's get back before Thor starts to think a monster got us.”

Tom bent down and picked up the sledgehammer he dropped, then he and Loki headed back towards the set for the filming of the crater and S.H.I.E.L.D. compound scenes.

~*~

When they reached their destination, they froze almost immediately. Thor was sitting in a nearby folding chair, Mjolnir in his lap, and seemed to have abandoned his task of trying to break through the rock. But when they saw the object clutched in Thor's left hand, they knew better. At their approach, Thor stood up and walked over to them.

“I was uncertain how long you would be gone, so I kept working...and I managed to get your feather.” 

Thor held his hand out to Loki, and the pale blue feather was laying in his palm. Loki took the feather from him, and at first he simply stared at it. Up until this point, he had never actually seen one. He then looked up at Thor with a raised eyebrow.

“What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Well, the other two times, I placed them on your chest and they were...absorbed into your body,” Thor answered, rubbing the back of his head. Thor was never very good at choosing his words, _that_ particular skill was passed onto Loki.

“Should we make a toast?” The two Asgardians looked at Tom as if he had grown gills. “No? Alright then.”

Loki lifted his hand and held the feather a couple inches away from his torso. While he was grateful to have one of his memories back, he was worried about _which_ memory they had found. 

Would he finally come out of this knowing that there were brighter times in his past? Or would he be disappointed to learn that maybe he should end his journey here? Perhaps it would be best to not see anymore images that left him feeling confused and betrayed.

“Here goes nothing.”

When the feather phased through his skin, he thought it was going to hurt. Instead, it felt warm and soothing. Maybe that was a good sign. The sensation in his chest ceased, meaning that the feather had returned to his body. There was a tiny throbbing in the back of Loki's head, but not a painful one, and he knew that the memory was about to reveal itself. 

_He was sitting at a table near a window, and he guessed it was a library because of all the books in the room. There were several books stacked on the table, and one was open in front of him. Loki was a few years younger than he is now, but it wasn't as if he even knew his current age anyway. A hand smacking him on the back made him jump, both memory Loki and the one watching._

_“What are you reading **now** , Brother?” It was Thor, also younger. He was standing next to memory Loki and had pulled his book away to look at it. “Shape shifting, huh? Into animals?”_

_“Shape shifting is a very difficult spell, even for the most gifted sorcerers, **Brother** ,” Loki scolded as he grabbed his book back from Thor._

_“But why animals?” The blonde asked with a pout and placed his hands on his hips._

_“So I can turn into something large and squash you,” Loki deadpanned._

_“Hah! You would be too slow for me!” Thor bellowed._

_“I am much quicker and smarter than you, blundering oaf.”_

_“Not if you turned into a giant animal!”_

_“Like I said. **Quicker** and **smarter**.”_

Loki slowly opened his eyes, which he didn't realize he had closed, and backed up when he saw both Thor and Tom leaning forward and staring at him intently.

“I assume it was a good memory. You were smiling,” Tom said.

“Yes. It was.” Loki nodded. “I think...I am ready to go.”


	7. Vanaheim: Grimskviða

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to go back and name the chapters. They're divided into 2 parts: the realm in which a majority of the chapter takes place, followed by a blurb that's somewhat related to what the chapter's about. It's not meant to be a spoiler, but I thought it would be fun. But don't take this one seriously. It's supposed to be based on the myth _Þrymskviða_ (the one where Thor wears a dress). But it's 'Grim' because of Hogun. Yuss.
> 
> And the whole thing with Hogun being from Vanaheim is based on _Thor: The Dark World_. Even though the comics don't specifically say where he's from, I decided to use the film canon. Hogun isn't featured very much in fanfics, so I kind of wanted to put him in the spotlight for just a little bit.

To say that the other five actors were shocked when they were told that the Asgardians were leaving would be an understatement. Not only because they had been there for but a few hours, but also because the reason was unknown to all except Tom. Ken was just glad that they were leaving so filming could resume, preferably without anymore interruptions.

Any information regarding Loki's feather was kept secret from the actors. Sif and the Warriors Three hadn't been told outright to keep it hush-hush, but they felt there was really no need for them to know about it.

And because of all the chaos regarding getting Mjolnir back, Thor never did have that contest with Chris. It simply slipped his mind, and everyone else was wise to “forget” as well. Sif still refused to exchange words with Jaimie, no matter how much the other woman tried. But what Sif didn't know at the time was that this encounter would come in handy later, possibly even save her life.

The Asgardians found their way back to the set for the Jotunheim scene, which is where Heimdall had originally landed them. The engraving of the Bifrost was still _somewhat_ visible, but it had been scraped away by the film crew. Despite the fact that the Bifrost is supposed to leave a mark in the movie, this one wasn't in the right place and couldn't be used. The same thought was on pretty much everyone's mind:

“How can you tell? Every rock looks exactly the same!” But Ken's word is the law of the land.

Before joining his traveling companions, Loki walked over to Tom so he could say goodbye.

“So you've decided to continue on this journey of yours?”

“Yes.” Loki nodded and fiddled with his hands. “After finding this feather, I have learned that not all of my memories are bad. There was at least _one_ time in my life that I was happy. Perhaps there are more. And I would like to know about them.”

“Well, I wish you luck. And maybe we'll see each other again. But hopefully it won't be because you're looking for something.”

“Yes! I would really like to watch your movie if it is finished.”

“You and me both.” Loki looked at him confused. “Ehehehe. Just ignore me.”

“Brother! Are you ready to go?” Thor shouted from the Bifrost site.

“Give him a chance,” Tom said when Loki sighed and slumped his shoulders.

Loki nodded and Tom smiled at him. When Loki was standing with the others, he had straightened his posture, but he was still frowning. He happened to glance up and see Tom making faces and weird hand gestures at him. A laugh slipped past his lips and he shook his head when the other male gave him a thumbs up.

“Heimdall, we are ready to travel to the next world,” Thor said from behind him.

As the warriors were enveloped in light and pulled towards the sky, a voice cut through the sound of wind in their ears.

“WE JUST FIXED THIS!”

~*~

When the Bifrost returned to Asgard, the familiar sense of home instantly dissipated. Not just Loki, but even the others could feel the ominous aura that seemed to be pressing down on the land like mud. The group member who looked most bothered by this was their Grim friend.

“Hogun, what is it?” Thor asked.

“This is Vanaheim. Only...something is very wrong here.”

“Let us ask one of the villagers.”

As they entered the village and looked around, it seemed like a ghost town. People walked as if in a trance, taking small, slow steps. They didn't even seem to be going anywhere in particular. But there was another thing that stood out.

“Where are the women?” Sif asked in a whisper.

“Could there have been a raid and they were taken?” Fandral asked.

“No. There do not appear to be any signs of an attack,” Thor commented. “Hogun is right. It has to be something else.”

“I shall return momentarily.”

Without waiting for any sort of reply, Hogun walked away from the group and approached the nearest villager. The pair spoke in quiet voices, so the others were unable to hear them. When Hogun departed from the man, he resumed his trance-like state.

“What did he say?” Sif asked.

“The women who were pregnant miscarried a little over a week ago. All at the same time.”

“Even if they conceived at different times?”

“Yes. The villagers think Freyja is responsible, since she is the goddess of fertility.”

“Or it could be something else. Loki, do you feel one of your feathers here?” Thor asked.

“Well, yes...and no.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it's here, but it is also _not_ here.” Loki sighed. “It is as if there is another realm _within_ this realm, and that is where the feather is.” 

“Do you know about anything like that, Hogun?” Thor asked.

“The only thing I can think of would be Fólkvangr, the place where the warriors who don't go to Valhalla are sent when they die.”

“Freyja is the patron goddess of Fólkvangr, just like how Odin rules over Valhalla,” Sif commented. Hogun nodded. “So how are we supposed to get there if we are still alive?”

“I do not know. There is no way of knowing which souls go to Fólkvangr, so we cannot follow one as it enters. And even if we did try to enter Fólkvangr, we may not be able to because we are not dead.”

“So the only way to get in there is to die, and even then there is no certainty that we will end up there,” Sif clarified.

“Why did it have to be _here?_ ” Fandral muttered.

“Even if the feather _wasn't_ here, we do need to see if we can help,” Sif stated.

Loki looked over his shoulder when he heard a voice. The strange thing about it was that it sounded female. Loki thought all of the women in the village had been bedridden. He walked away from the others towards a group of shrubs. They were tall, nearly up to his shoulders, but he was able to separate them. There was a patch of grass within the shrubs, and curled up in a ball was the source of the noises.

Loki's attention was transfixed on the figure on the ground, so he did not hear Thor shouting at him. He didn't acknowledge him when he came up behind him, either.

“Loki, you should not wander off on your own like that.” When the smaller male did not answer him, Thor peaked his head around to see what he was looking at. “What are you looking at?”

“I think I found Freyja.”

The rest of the group joined them and tried to see into the clearing. Thor turned to Hogun.

“Is he right? Is that Freyja?” Hogun returned Thor's gaze and nodded.

Hogun wordlessly excused himself and lightly pushed past the others through the shrubs. He cautiously approached the figure on the ground and knelt down next to her. With a gentleness that his friends had never seen from him, Hogun laid a hand on the woman's arm. He allowed it to linger, neither shaking her nor applying any sort of pressure. He would wait for her to make the first move, no matter how long that took.

Several seconds passed, then nearly a minute. Loki could sense the impatience rolling off of Thor and he wanted to turn around and...do _something_. He needed to think about it because he would most likely injure himself if he tried to punch or kick the man and ended up striking armor. 

There was a collective intake of breath at the first signs of movement. Hogun pulled his hand away and moved back to give the girl room. 

Slowly, she sat up. Noiselessly. No popping joints, no rustling of clothes. Even her breathing was muted. Another odd thing was that there were no marks or blemishes on her body, despite the fact that she had been lying on the ground. There were no stains in her white gown, no dirt on her arms, hands or feet. And there was hardly any evidence that she had been crying. Her eyes were not red and bloodshot, there was only wetness on her cheeks from the fallen tears.

Freyja's gaze traveled around, lingering on Loki and his companions for a short moment. When she looked at Hogun, her expression was one of curiosity. Hogun remained silent, still waiting for her to speak first.

“You are one of mine,” she spoke softly. One of her _kinsmen_ was what she meant. 

“Yes.” Freyja looked down at the ground in thought.

“You are Hogun.” He nodded. “I know all of the Vanir by name. It flashes before my eyes whenever they are born. But how are you here?”

“What are they saying? I can't hear them,” Thor grumbled. 

Loki had finally had enough with the man's constant fidgeting. He whipped around and shoved the man backwards so he was away from the shrubs, then followed him.

“Will you _shut up?_ Can you not see that she is in shock and clearly upset about something?” Thor shrunk under Loki's glare and looked at the ground in embarrassment. Loki rubbed a hand over his face. “Hogun will tell us what they discussed in a moment, but you need to calm down.” 

“I am sorry.”

Loki shook his head and walked back to the opening in the bushes. For a moment, Thor merely remained where he stood, staring at the ground as if he had been slapped. He gripped Mjolnir until the handle began to creak from the strain. With hunched shoulders, Thor stomped off in search of a tree to sit under.

~*~

After Hogun helped Freyja stand up, the two of them walked out of the shrubs. The others followed, but they trailed several yards back. Freyja led them towards the outskirts of the village where a hill overlooked a large valley. Once settled in the grass, Hogun changed the subject.

“What is happening in this village? What has made you so unsettled?” Freyja shook her head.

“It is not just this village. I am afraid that it is the entire realm.” She gripped the material of her dress and let out a shuddered breath. “I do not mean to cause this much suffering, but I am deeply worried. Something unnatural has occurred, and I am unable to put an end to it.”

“What has occurred?”

“The gateway into Fólkvangr has sealed itself. And now the souls that are meant to travel there have no way of entering. They cannot go to Valhalla, for it is not their destined path.”

“Where do they go? Not Hel, surely.”

“No. The souls that go to Hel are deserving of that fate. Even the goddess would not take my warriors.” Freyja shook her head. “If the souls have nowhere to go, they become vengeful.”

“Are the souls that were already in Fólkvangr still there? Or have they been expelled?”

“They are still there, as far as I know. I am the only one who cannot return.”

“This may seem unrelated, but I assure you that it is not.” Freyja nodded for him to continue. “Have you seen a blue feather, by any chance?” 

She looked at him for a moment, somewhat taken aback. Again, Hogun didn't add onto his question or speak at all. He waited for her to give him an answer.

“What does that feather have to do with any of this?”

“So you have seen it. Where?”

“Well, I thought there was something a little unusual about it, but I paid no mind to it at the time. I saw it just before the doors closed, as if it had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the feather is inside Fólkvangr, which is inaccessible.”

“That is what I was afraid of.”

“What is so significant about this feather?”

“It is the reason why all of this is happening. And it is the reason why my friends and I are here. If there is any way you can think of to get inside, we need your help.”

“There might be a way, but I cannot guarantee that it will work,” Freyja said with slight hesitancy.

“Any idea is better than none at all.”

Freyja nodded then stood up. After wiping her hands on her dress, which was really unnecessary because of how she seemed to maintain a constant cleanliness, her lips curved into a thin smile.

“First, I must speak with Heimdall.”


	8. Vanaheim: I Believe I Can Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I am so sorry. I had the first part of this saved (up until Sif and Thor's conversation) since December, so I kind of forgot about what I was doing. When I started writing this again, I was like "Oh yeah poetic imagery nice okay woot" and I completely forgot about Heimdall. So I went back and fixed it at 3am.

Thor still had not moved from his spot under the tree, and the others were somewhat hesitant to ask if he was alright. Well, to be more accurate, Sif and The Warriors Three. Loki really couldn't care less. As much as he wanted to follow Tom's advice, he was finding it extremely difficult. The man was just so _infuriating!_

Freyja had been gone for quite some time. After finishing her conversation with Hogun, she wandered off on her own and didn't say where she was headed. She was still close enough so they could see her, but she seemed to be talking to herself. If the circumstances were different, it would have been quite humorous.

“Do you know what she is doing?” Sif asked, walking up to stand next to Hogun.

“She told me that she has a plan on how to get inside Fólkvangr, but she needs Heimdall's help in order to do so.”

“Oh, so that's who she is talking to. Did she tell you her plan?”

“No. It must involve Heimdall transporting us directly into Fólkvangr.”

“Can he do that?” Hogun shrugged.

“You should know more about him than I. You are his sister, after all.” Sif scowled at him then stomped off.

Freyja walked back to the group, her feet making no sound in the grass. She looked to be in much better spirits than when they had found her. Some color had returned to her complexion, as well. The others came over to hear what she had to say, except for Thor. He still had yet to leave his perch.

“I have spoken with Heimdall, and he tells me that he will be able to transport myself and one other person into Fólkvangr. Not only is the process difficult, due to the specific location of the placement, but sending a living soul into Fólkvangr makes it even more complicated.”

“It has to be Loki. The feather belongs to him and he is the only one who can find it,” Hogun explained to her. Freyja nodded then turned her gaze towards Loki.

“Whenever you are ready.”

Freyja continued looking at him for a short moment, then began walking in the direction of the shrubs where they had found her. Loki began after her, and just as Sif and the others were about to follow, Loki froze. He did not look at them and he didn't speak, but his actions were enough.

_Stay here._

“Don't take too long,” Fandral said.

Loki clenched and unclenched his fists, then continued after Freyja, who seemed to not have noticed that he stopped following her. 

When they were both over the top of the hill and out of sight, the Warriors Three sat down and immediately began examining their weapons to see if they had been damaged, despite the fact that they hadn't even been used since they left Asgard. Sif took it upon herself to go and find Thor.

She searched for several minutes, and Sif begrudgingly hoped that Thor hadn't flown off somewhere. Just when she was about to give up looking and return to the others, she heard a voice.

“Sif?”

Sif looked up and saw Thor with his legs spread out along a thick tree branch. She had to resist the urge to place her hands on her hips because of how frustrated she was from all of that searching. But she was glad to see that he was okay.

“I have been looking for you.”

“What?!” He was shouting at her.

“I _said_ 'I have been _looking_ for you!'” She didn't flinch when he jumped down and landed just a few inches in front of her.

“For what reason?”

“Well, you have been gone for quite some time. And I wanted to let you know that Loki is gone.”

“Gone?! Where?!”

“That was not really the best way to word that. What I _meant_ to say was he and Freyja have gone to retrieve his feather.”

“Why are you not with him?”

“Because only one person can accompany Freyja on this particular task. Heimdall is transporting them directly into Fólkvangr, and apparently it is difficult even for _him_. Mostly because he is sending the soul of a living person in there.” 

“But what if he gets hurt? What if he is killed in there? I won't be there to—”

“Shut up, Thor.” He looked at her with wide eyes as if she had told him his goats died. “You cannot protect him forever. He is a grown man, and he needs to fight his own battles, despite his current state.”

“It is _my_ fault he is in his current state. Because I did not protect him.”

“Do you believe he will succeed?” 

“Of course I do.”

“Then he will.” A small smile lit up Thor's face and he nodded. “Now, let us go back to the others so we can be there when Loki does return.”

~*~

As Loki predicted, Freyja led him back to the area of bushes where he had found her earlier. He followed her into the clearing, and he waited as she drew symbols in the air and whispered a spell. Her voice was too quiet for him to hear, and he was beginning to wonder if that was typical for the Vanir. It seemed to be, considering the way she and Hogun spoke to each other.

The ground began to rumble minutely, but it was barely noticeable. Freyja turned around to look at Loki, and he nodded to let her know he was listening.

“I do not know what we will find on the other side. I do not know what your feather has done in there. We must proceed with caution.”

“I understand.” Freyja looked up at the sky.

"Heimdall, we are ready to be transported inside at your leisure."

When they were pulled into the column of light, it felt much more narrow than Loki remembered the previous times. More confining. It was almost a sensation of claustrophobia. Again, the process was a short one, and the Gatekeeper withdrew once his task was complete.

After taking only a few steps into Fólkvangr, Freyja let out a muted gasp and brought her hands up to her lips. The grass had completely shriveled away to almost nothing, leaving behind dry, cracked dirt. The trees were wilting and leaves were falling off the branches by the second. Limbs were bent in half and touching the ground.

“I am so sorry,” Loki said quietly.

He knew that wouldn't be nearly enough to change anything, but at least she would know that he felt responsible. She emitted a quiet sigh and shook her head.

“It is not your fault.”

'You are right. It is _Thor's_ fault.'

“Where did you last see the feather before the doorway sealed itself?”

“I only caught a glimpse of it, but it was over there,” Freyja answered, pointing slightly to their right. Loki nodded.

“The presence is much stronger here.” Just as he was about to head in the direction that was indicated, Freyja grabbed his arm.

“I must warn you. Because you are a living soul, Fólkvangr may not welcome you here. It may attempt to cast you back out if it sees you as a threat. Even though I am the patron deity of this world, I cannot control its every action, nor its free will.”

“Do you have any advice for me?”

“The souls that come here are those of fallen warriors. Brave and noble men of strong character. If you can prove to Fólkvangr that your intentions are pure and you are not fainthearted, it will allow you passage.”

“Show no fear and honest intentions.” Loki squared his jaw. “How will I know if it is trying to cast me out?”

“You will know.” Freyja tilted her head and looked into his green eyes. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.”

This time, Loki allowed Freyja to go first. She _seemed_ to know her way around the place, but because of her solemn demeanor, something was definitely wrong. It was almost as if the area was unfamiliar to her, in a way.

“I mean no offense, but where are these 'brave and noble' warriors you spoke of earlier?”

“That is what worries me. There is no one here. Only the two of us.”

“What do you think could have happened to them?”

“I do not kn—” Loki was able to grab Freyja's arm and yank her back, just as she was about to walk over the edge of a cliff.

“Are you alright?” Freyja nodded, pressing her hand to her chest and calming her racing heart. “A rather unusual place for a ledge. Even _you_ were not expecting it.”

“That is because it was not here before.” Freyja watched as Loki slowly approached the edge of the cliff and looked down. His expression darkened. “What is it?”

“It is down there.”

Several meters below, inside a pit of inky blackness, a swirling vortex rotated like a deadly hurricane. Within the eye of the storm, a single source of light could faintly be seen. A wave of nausea washed over Loki, and he backed away from the cliff edge.

“I can't do it.”

“Loki, you must. You are the only one who can.”

“When I saw that...thing...down there, I suddenly felt—”

'No. I can't show fear. If I do, I will be cast out.'

“I might know of a way that could help.”

Freyja spread her arms out on both sides, and Loki's eyes widened as he watched her brown hair seemingly take on a life of its own. It crawled along her arms and shoulders, then turned into feathers. It slithered up the back of her neck, and a bird's head and beak appeared, sort of like a hood. Once all movement ceased, Freyja pulled what looked like a cloak off her shoulders and handed it to Loki. Her hair had returned to its former style, not a strand out of place.

“My feathered cloak will give you the wings of a bird. You will be quicker and more agile.”

“Thank you. I will not let you down.”

Loki wrapped the cloak around his shoulders and slipped the bird head over his own. He felt pricking on his arms, and he figured that was the feathers attaching themselves to his skin. He found it fascinating how they were able to poke through the leather material of his sleeves. After awhile, he didn't even notice the feathers anymore, as if they had truly become a part of him and there was no distinction between bird and man.

Loki approached the edge of the cliff again, and this time, his eyesight and hearing were much more superior, and it was as if he was dissecting the storm below him. Now, he was able to find its most weak and unstable parts. After taking a few steps back, he made a running start and dove over the ledge.

There was a high-pitched whistling in his ears, and tears were streaming from his eyes as they tried to stay moist. Just as Loki thought all was going well as planned, his descent towards the vortex began to slow down. As opposed to what should have happened, which was Loki being sucked into the spiraling clouds and potentially dying, he was being repelled. 

Loki tried to pull himself forward, kicking out with his legs and similar movements to swimming. When he felt like he was getting tired, he realized something was pulling him backwards. It wasn't the vortex pushing him away. It was the cloak pulling him.

He looked at the feathers, which appeared to be standing on end. Loki tugged at one of the wings, and he winced at the slight pain because he had already forgotten the cloak attached itself to his skin. After taking a deep breath, he grabbed a large bundle of feathers in his right hand.

“One...two...three—” The only thing blocking out the noise of his shout was the volume of the swirling wind. “One...two...three—” By the time his left arm was free, his hands were soaked in blood and it had stained his fingernails. 

“Forgive me, Freyja. I know your intentions were good.” Barely able to lift his burning arm, Loki repeated the same process on the right side. “One...two...three—”

The only thing that made Loki cringe more than the actual throbbing pain in his arms was the noise of the feathers being ripped out of his flesh. After completely liberating his arms, all Loki needed to do was remove the bird head, and then there would be nothing left to keep him suspended in the air. With one last look down at the vortex, his eyes focused on the feather in order not to lose sight of it, he lowered the hood and slid the cloak from his shoulders.

While the cloak floated back up to its master, Loki was in free fall. Unlike before, where he was falling head-first and in control of his path, Loki was falling feet-first and flailing to try and turn around. He did not want to miss the feather.

Unable to maneuver his body around, Loki could only reach out and hope his timing was good enough. As he entered the storm, he lunged forward and wrapped his fingers around the feather. Clutched in his bloody hands, he pressed it to his chest, and allowed its warmth to envelope him as he waited for his lost memory to reveal itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this will be the only time in the story Freyja will be featured, I wanted to include her feathered cloak somehow (also because every time in mythology Loki's mentioned using it, he either steals it or it's because he got somebody abducted and Odin's making him clean up his mess). I wasn't quite sure how to introduce it; I couldn't just say "Here, I just pulled this out of my butt, good luck." So I thought it'd be kinda cool for it to...grow out of her hair or whatever.
> 
> I was originally going to have Loki do a Hail Mary and just jump in the vortex and hope for the best. But then I changed my mind because I wanted to include Freyja's cloak. I'm glad I did.


	9. Vanaheim: It's All In Your Head

_It was midday, and the sun was obscured by fluffy white clouds. Its golden rays were shining through the windows of the Asgardian palace, enhancing shadows of the occasional passersby. Seated on a futon, arranging a bouquet of roses in a curved white vase, the Queen hummed happily to herself. The sound of running footsteps echoing on the tile floor made her look up from her work._

_“Mother! Mother, I drew something for you!” A version of Loki even younger than the one from the previous memory entered the room waving a sheet of parchment._

_“Did you? Well, let me have a look at it.” Just as the woman reached for her gift, her hands passed through the paper and the boy vanished in a flash of green light. “Oh!”_

_There was quiet laughing by the doorway, and then the real Loki peaked his head around the corner. When he saw the slight upturn of his mother's lips, he came into the room._

_“You have been working on your doppelgangers again, I see.”_

_“I can still only make one, though," the boy said with a pout. His expression then quickly morphed into a smile. "Did I fool you?”_

_“Yes, you fooled me. So did you really draw me a picture or was that just an excuse to play a trick on me?”_

_“No, I really drew you a picture.” He handed her the parchment and she stared at it for a moment. Her eyebrows furrowed._

_“Is it a bird?” Loki nodded proudly. “But where is the body?”_

Loki sat up and sucked in a deep gasp of air. For a moment he thought he was going into shock because of the sudden and unexpected way he had woken up. A pair of hands lightly pressing down on his shoulders slowly reeled him back in, and his breathing began to slow down.

“Loki, it is alright. You did it,” a woman's voice spoke from next to him.

“Did what?” Loki asked groggily.

“You got your feather back. And now Fólkvangr is repairing itself. The warriors have returned as well.”

It was still taking a bit longer for Loki's mind to register what all this person was talking about. Something about a feather and fixing 'Folk-something' and some missing warriors. When his vision began to swim, Loki's head tipped back and thumped against the ground. Freyja gently shook him only to find that he had passed out.

“I suppose I can at least heal your wounds for the time being.”

Freyja carefully and gingerly peeled off each section of leather, chain mail and cloth that covered Loki's arms. Every so often, she would watch his face for any reaction, but he seemed to be completely out of it. Once his arms were completely bare, Freyja bowed her head.

She had not meant for her cloak to inflict any harm, she only wanted to help. She saw how terrified he had become when he looked into the vortex, as if he had experienced something horrible at a point in his life. The cloak must have sensed danger nearby and was trying to avoid it, which was why it was pulling Loki away.

Freyja left only a minimal amount of space between her hand and Loki's arm, and as she brought her hand back and forth, the torn flesh slowly began to mend itself. There was still redness and discoloration, due to how naturally pale he was, but the outer layers of skin were healing. Freyja ripped a strip of cloth from the skirt of her dress and, after wetting it with her tongue, began to wipe away the blood on Loki's arms and working to clean it out of his fingernails. Once she was through with that, all she could do now was wait for Loki to wake up again.

~*~

_Loki must have been dreaming. There was no other explanation._

_For one thing, he was on the ceiling. He was not quite sure where the location of this particular ceiling was. Thankfully, the blood was not rushing to his head. Another reason why Loki was positive that this was a dream._

_A door on the opposite side of the upside-down room opened, and a tall, slender man walked in. He was wearing all black, and a black cap covered his short reddish hair. He looked around, searching for something. Then he turned his gaze up, or maybe it was down. He looked at Loki and a huge grin lit up his face. His face, which was identical to Loki's._

_“ **There** you are! I've been looking all over for you!”_

_“Tom?”_

_“No, I'm **Steve**. You must have me confused with **Tom**.”_

_“No, I am pretty sure that you're Tom.” The other man scoffed and planted his hands on his hips._

_“We look **nothing** alike. I have a mustache.”_

_The man pointed at the thick, and obviously artificial, mustache that was nestled between his pointed nose and upper lip. Loki's lip curled upwards. It looked like it used to be some sort of rodent before it ended up being used as a face decoration._

_“This is Wendy. She's my pride and joy.”_

_Loki breathed in and out slowly, trying to maintain a calm exterior, as well as hoard as much patience and tolerance as he possibly could._

_“Alright, **Steve**. Where exactly are we?”_

_“We're inside your grapefruit,” the Brit answered and pointed at his head._

_'What in the Nine Realms is a “grapefruit”?'_

_“Now come on, get down from there! We'll be late!”_

_“Late for wha—I don't even know how I got up here! Or how to get down!”_

_“Well you walk of course.”_

_Loki cautiously approached the nearest wall and pressed his left foot against it. Keeping that foot in place, he stepped off with his right foot. He slid down a little bit, but he continued to take more steps forward...or up. Or maybe down. When he was finally right-side-up, he felt like he had run a marathon._

_“There, that wasn't so hard.” Loki gave him a reproachful look. “Let's not dilly dally, time's a-wasting!”_

_“Why are we in such a hurry? Where are you taking me?”_

_“We're going to miss the movie!”_

_“What movie?”_

_“ **The** movie, of course.”_

_'“Of course” he says.'_

_“Steve” opened the door, and the two men walked into another room. It was dark and full of seats. There was a large screen with moving pictures and music was resonating throughout the room. People were cramped in the seats, a majority of them holding food and drinks, or what could be considered food._

_Loki followed his companion towards the back, then they cut through a row of people. When they finally sat down, “Steve” let out a sigh. Loki noticed there was an empty seat on the right side of him, but he didn't comment on it. Maybe it was for the other person down the row._

_“Made it just in time.”_

_“Took ya long enough,” a deep voice said from a couple seats away._

_Loki recognized the voice. He turned his head to the left and saw the actor who looked like Thor. His name was Chris, if he remembered correctly. He was holding some sort of beverage in his large hand and the straw was pinched between his lips._

_“Sorry about that. We had a bit of a problem.”_

_“Did Loki get stuck on the ceilin' again?” “Steve” nodded. Loki refused to believe that this guy wasn't Tom._

_“Where's Thor?” The actor asked, craning his neck slightly._

_“Oh, he went back ta get more pancakes,” Chris answered before laughing at something on the screen._

_“I **told** you it was a bad idea to get him hooked on those.”_

_“I didn't know he'd like the syrup so much. It's like crack ta 'im or somethin'. Or maybe he's turned Canadian.”_

_There was a bit of a commotion, and then there was some movement when another person claimed the seat on Loki's right. It was the very person the two actors had been talking about._

_“Sorry that took so long. They were out of strawberry sauce and had to make some more.”_

_“Ah, he ordered the **deluxe** pancakes,” Chris commented._

_“Oh, there you are Loki. Did you get stuck on the ceiling again?”_

_A migraine was forming, and all Loki could do was pinch his nose to prevent from combusting. He had no idea what was going on, or why his imagination was conjuring something so bizarre. He just wanted it to be over._

_Unfortunately, this dream was nowhere near over. Next he had to sit through what Tom/Steve called “previews,” which were awful. There were about seven of them, but Loki stopped counting after the third one. And finally the movie started._

_At first Loki didn't know why Tom/Steve wanted him to see this movie. It was just three people in some sort of metal box, pressing glowing buttons and looking at the sky. But when the people in the movie saw the unusual lights in the clouds, a thought came to him._

_'Is that the Bifrost? Is this Tom's movie about us?'_

_Loki wanted to ask Tom about it, as well as rip that ridiculous thing from his face, but he kept his mouth shut. He also wanted Tom to enjoy his movie that he had worked so hard on making._

_As the story continued to play out, there were times that Loki wondered if any of this was real, or if it was all made up by somebody. In many cases, he hoped it was all fiction. He didn't want to believe that he was disliked by a majority of Asgard, inferior in the King's eyes, a traitor, and not even an Asgardian. One word repeated itself in his mind:_

_'Jotun. Jotun. Jotun. Jotun. Jotun.'_

_By the time it reached his attempted suicide, Loki felt like he was collapsing on himself. His breathing was so shallow that there wasn't enough oxygen reaching his lungs. Within a few long, dreadfully slow seconds, the dream finally came to an end._

~*~

When Loki opened his eyes again, the sun was shining. It should have felt good; warm and soothing. But he felt hollow. Maybe, after learning that he's cold-blooded, the heat of the sun will no longer be able to bring him peace.

“Loki? Are you alright?”

“How long was I asleep?” He avoided her question. He would not have been able to give her a promising answer anyway.

“Only a few minutes. I was able to heal your wounds and clean the blood.”

“Thank you.” It felt much longer than a few minutes.

“We should go. I do not know how much longer Heimdall can keep you here.” 

“I understand.”

Loki was a little bit slow to get up, but Freyja was patient with him. Thankfully, they didn't have very far to go. On the way back to the Bifrost site, Loki asked why Heimdall would be transporting them out, if the doorway to Fólkvangr was open again. Freyja thought it would be safer for Loki to go back the way they came, rather than through the doorway, because departed souls come through it at random times. Loki didn't completely understand it, but she knew this place better than anyone.

Loki had been expecting the same compact feeling from before, but this time when they were returned to the outside, it was not as uncomfortable. He still wasn't quite used to traveling by the Bifrost, but he knew he would have to be eventually if this search for his memories was going to last for awhile.

When they reached the top of the hill and could see the others waiting for them, a thought popped into Loki's head:

'I wonder if _they_ know.'

But if they _did_ know, they would not be acting so friendly towards him, or helping him at all. Thor keeps referring to him as “Brother,” so surely _he_ doesn't know. Maybe it really was all just a story, made up by one of the movie people. Maybe Loki was normal like the others.

Deep down, Loki knew that wasn't true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't seem to write a funny chapter without including a little angst. Oh well.


	10. Alfheim: Freakin' Elves

Ever since he and Freyja had rejoined the others, Loki had not said a word. Nothing was spoken about what happened inside Fólkvangr, and nobody made a move to ask. Judging by Loki's demeanor, as well as Freyja's apparent weariness, whatever took place was not something they were ready to talk about. 

When Loki didn't tell them that he was ready to go, he needed to be asked. And even when he answered, it was a simple nod.

After thanking Freyja for all of her help, and she in turn thanking them for helping her, Heimdall opened the Bifrost and sent them to their next destination.

When the air cleared and they could take in their surroundings, it almost appeared as if they had never left Vanaheim. The climate was relatively the same.

“ _Now_ where has he sent us?” Fandral wondered aloud.

Before they had a chance to dwell on it, there was the faintest rustle in a nearby shrub, as if somebody had grazed by it as they walked past. The group got their answer when a figure in white approached them, then another, then another, and several more.

Just as Freyja had been, the Elves were silent on their feet, with long and fluid movements. The warriors were tense, because while the Elves were not known for being violent people, their behavior was unnerving. 

One final person joined the group, and the Elves all bowed to him at his approach. He was not like them, but shared many similarities to the Vanir; one Vanir in particular that they had seen only moments before.

“Lord Freyr,” Hogun uttered as he too bowed.

“You are Hogun.” The man nodded. “My sister spoke highly of you, and of how you came to her aid in her time of need. For that, I am grateful.”

“If Freyja told you about us, then you know what it is we are looking for. Why we are here,” Thor said.

“Yes. The feather of memories,” Freyr answered, turning his gaze towards Loki. “I found it when the orchards began to rot. Come dine with me, and I will bring it to you.”

Without waiting for a reply, Freyr turned away from them and began walking back to his palace, his entourage following behind him. With some encouragement from a couple of remaining Elves, Thor and the others joined them, their apprehension never dwindling.

~*~

Because of the crisis in Vanaheim, they never had a chance to see Freyja's home, so they had no idea if the dwellings of the two siblings compared to each other. The only one who would potentially know anything about it was Hogun, but his family was in the fishing industry. He had no connections to Freyja until that day.

Even though the warriors would always prefer the golden halls of Asgard above all others, they had to admit that Freyr's palace was grand in its own right.

The Elves did not consume meat, drawing all of their energy from Nature and the light of the Sun. According to their beliefs, because the plants came into being first and would prosper for a longer period of time, the Elves must yield to the needs of the first dwellers of their realm. 

Instead of moving trees or cutting them down, homes and other structures were built around them. Limbs and branches weaved in and out of windows, through floors and out the other side of ceilings. The canopies could be seen just above the roofs of many residences. This was foreign to the Asgardians, because there were no trees of this size anywhere near to the palace walls; only the occasional tree in the gardens.

While the Asgardians were shown into a large sitting room, because the Elves seemed to have a liking for open spaces, Freyr spoke quietly to his attendants, who then nodded and left the room.

“I have asked for your meal to be prepared. Please wait here a moment while I go and get your feather.”

After Freyr was gone, and they were finally alone, four of the warriors turned towards each other. Loki was too busy worrying about what memory he was going to get back, and Hogun was too busy looking around the room at Freyr's furniture and other trinkets.

“Well, what do you think?” Fandral asked. “Can we trust him?”

“Of course we can. Why would we not?” Hogun replied, somewhat irritated at his friend's suspicion.

“It just seems too easy.” 

“What choice do we have?” Sif asked. “He has the feather.”

“But how did he get it?” Volstagg wondered.

“Maybe he found it in his orchard. You know, considering the fact that he said his orchard began to rot,” Loki said boredly. “Simple process of elimination.”

Even though everything in his tone hinted that he thought they were all idiots, at least he was talking now. 

“Here we are.” Just like his sister, Freyr did not make a sound when he walked. The Asgardians straightened their postures and schooled their features, trying to give the impression that they hadn't been talking about him. “Freyja told me several months ago about what you did for her, and when I saw this feather I knew I needed to put it somewhere where its magic would be repressed,” he said as he handed the feather to Loki.

“Several months? But we just came here from Vanaheim,” Thor said, somewhat taken aback.

“Yes. We only left Asgard and began this journey a few hours ago,” Sif added.

“Well, according to my sister, it has been four months since that day that you helped her.”

“That is impossible...unless time passes differently in each world.”

“That is a possibility. The villager I spoke to in Vanaheim told me that the women had all miscarried a week earlier, because of Freyja's reaction to Fólkvangr sealing itself. As you said, we only left Asgard a few hours ago,” Hogun commented.

“This quest keeps getting stranger and stranger,” Fandral muttered.

While the others were discussing this matter, Loki was staring down at the feather pinched between his thumb and forefinger. After one last look to make sure all of their attention was away from him, he took a deep breath and held the feather up to his chest. 

~*~

As it entered his body, it felt different from the last two times. He wasn't awake for the first two, but the other times there was a warm sensation, as if the sun had shown itself after being obscured by clouds. Now he just felt numb, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the new discovery of his origins. Or perhaps it was a hint that he would not like what he was about to see.

_Almost as soon as the memory manifested, Loki's heart leaped up into his throat. Again, this was a younger version of himself, only by a few years, and he was roughly shoved against a wall. Loki reached up and rubbed the back of his head when he heard a faint crack from his skull thudding against the stone. A younger Thor had his forearm pressed against memory Loki's throat, and the man against the wall was gasping and emitting choking noises. Someone else was there, a woman. She was standing nearby, hunched over and gripping the top of her head._

_“ **Why** did you do it, Loki?!” Thor snarled._

_“It was...just a joke,” Loki tried to say, due to the fact that his windpipes were being crushed._

_“A **joke?** Look at what you have done!” Thor pointed at the girl, and she looked up at them with wet and bloodshot eyes. It was Sif, but instead of dark brown, her hair was blonde. Well, what was left of it. “Fix it! **Now!** ”_

_“Alright, alright,” Loki croaked. “Ease up a bit.”_

_Thor lowered his arm and gave Loki a little room. Loki loosened the collar of his shirt and rubbed his throat to try and soothe it. Thor exhaled loudly through his nose, becoming impatient._

_“Well? Do something.”_

_“I can't.”_

_Thor grabbed him by the front of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. Even though they eventually become nearly equal in height, Loki still was quite a bit shorter than Thor when they were younger._

_“What do you mean **'you can't'?** ”_

_“I do not know any spells for regrowing hair.” Sif visibly wilted. Thor's grip on his shirt tightened. “But I will speak to the Dwarves,” Loki said in a rush._

_“How can **Dwarves** be of any help? **Why** would they help?”_

_“Don't you know, Brother? Dwarves are the most expert craftsmen. And if they are offered a good enough deal, they will make anything.”_

_Both Lokis grimaced when Thor released his hold on his shirt and he landed in a heap on the hard floor._

_“This had **better** work, Loki.”_

_Using the wall to help him stand up, Loki watched as Thor wrapped a comforting arm around Sif's shoulders and led her back towards her room. He scowled at them, then went to his own room so he could begin brainstorming how to compromise with the Dwarves._

_As the scene began to darken and the memory came to an end, Loki let out a sigh. He already knew the outcome of the confrontation with the Dwarves. His plan **did** work, but the only one who received the bad end of the deal was him._

~*~

When Loki's mind cleared and he was aware of his surroundings, he heard the others still talking. The memory wasn't very long, none of them ever really were, and the others seemed to not have noticed he had already disposed of the feather.

“Well, they should be finished with preparing your meal by now. And I am sure you are quite famished. After all, it has been four months since you last ate,” Freyr said with the barest hint of amusement in his voice.

“I wish to lie down,” Loki blurted out. “If that is alright.”

“Of course. I will have an escort show you to your room.”

Freyr made some sort of hand gesture and an Elf entered the room and approached him. He whispered into the Elf's ear, earning a slight nod and a bow. The Elf then turned his gaze towards Loki and motioned with his arm to follow him. Loki rose from the chair and followed the Elf, nodding in thanks as he passed Freyr. When the two of them were gone, Freyr turned his attention back to his other guests.

“If you will all come with me.”

Volstagg stood up first and rubbed his abdomen in anticipation. As the others left the room, Sif pulled Hogun over to the side.

“Strike up a conversation with Freyr. Keep him distracted.”

“For what purpose?”

“I do not want _him_ or his _Elves_ to overhear my conversation with Thor.”

“I will speak with him.”

They separated, Hogun walking ahead to match his stride with Freyr's and Sif walking next to Thor.

“I hope Loki is alright,” Thor muttered.

“Did you not see it?”

“See what, Sif?”

“He was no longer holding the feather.”

“You mean he looked at the memory without telling us?” Thor asked, startled. Sif nodded.

“And that's not all. Ever since Vanaheim, he has been distancing himself from us. It may have to do with what he saw there. Maybe that particular memory has made him believe that he cannot trust us.”

“But why?”

“Perhaps he saw something that showed the real way the Warriors Three and I treat him. Despite the fact that, when he woke up in those woods, I told him we were his friends, we have never really acted _friendly_ towards him.”

“I'm sure that is not it. It must be something else.” Thor, ever the optimist. “We cannot discuss it here. It isn't safe,” Thor whispered just as they entered the dining room. Sif mouthed “later” to him and allowed an Elf to pull her chair out for her. 

Despite the disappointment at the lack of meat with their dinner, there was a plentiful amount of alcohol. While the Elves didn't like consuming slaughtered animals, they were quite fond of wine and ale. Conversation at the table remained light, unlike the drinking, and there were no political crises, casualties or death threats.

~*~

In the quiet of his room, Loki sat on the bed facing the window. The curtains were open and the rising full moon was shining through the glass. He was hunched over and holding up one hand. He blinked a couple times from staring at it for so long; he was waiting to see if his arm would change color. Loki sighed and turned his hand palm-down, then started tracing curved lines on the top. Just like the ones he had seen in Tom's movie. He then reached up and made the same design on his forehead.

Shaking his head, Loki stood up from the bed and walked towards the window. He heaved a sigh and the glass fogged. He exhaled again and drew a line through the middle. After wiping the glass with his sleeve, he blew and moved his head around until the entire surface was obscured.

Loki drew slender, wavy lines with sharp ends, connecting to each other. Once finished with the left, he did the same on the right. He was able to finish just as the fog was fading. He took a step back, then noticed that as soon as the cooling air reached the design it stopped. He could see something glowing through the lines in the window, and he realized it was the moon. Loki felt like he had seen this before, and if he adjusted the right way, it looked like—

As soon as the image of the bodiless bird registered in his mind, he swiped the window with his sleeve. He then shut the curtains and sat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He let out a shuddering breath and clutched his head.

“What is it?”


	11. Alfheim: Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

_Loki had no idea where he was. Darkness surrounded him on all sides, and every time he took a step his feet stumbled over bones and rocks and who-knows-what-else. There was an occasional flash of lightning, and at one point he spotted a doorway. With much difficulty, Loki made his way towards it._

_When he finally did reach the inner chamber and the lightning could no longer help him, Loki heaved a sigh that echoed throughout the room. He never would have imagined that there was anything darker than pitch black._

_With more caution than he'd been acting on before, Loki took a step, and then another. Then another. Then another. And another. While Loki knew it would be unwise to let his guard down, he felt that this was much too simple._

_Loki's breathing came to a halt when the ground suddenly vanished. As he was trying to pivot around, his other foot slid off the ledge. That same gut-wrenching fear he had experienced in Vanaheim was overtaking him. As soon as it started, it ended abruptly when Loki's back collided with a hard surface. The back of his head smacked the stone and his teeth rattled._

_Loki was unsure as to how much time passed before he was able to sit up, but it must have been at least several minutes. And even after he was upright, a wave of vertigo washed over him. Loki felt around for some sort of ledge, but when he found it he was unable to determine how high he was above the ground. After taking in a deep breath to gather his wits, Loki took a leap of faith._

_The fall wasn't as far as he was expecting, but the landing was still painful. Loki sputtered when dirt and dust entered his mouth and nostrils. Even though he was wearing long sleeves and pants, Loki could feel blood oozing in places where the skin had torn underneath layers of clothing. When Loki stood up he felt as if the ground was spinning._

_Every footstep echoed loudly and made his entire frame tremble. He thought for certain the other realms would be able to hear him. He held his arms in front of him and waved them about, but his hands only continued to grasp at air. At first the only noises were Loki's haggard breathing and uneven pulse beating in his ears, but then he bumped into something and he heard what sounded like a pot or vase shattering._

_Fear gripped at him. He was lost, he was alone, he couldn't see, his other senses seemed to be of no use to him, and the room was getting colder. He wasn't even sure how he got here in the first place. A choked sob slipped past his lips and Loki brought his hands up to his face, tangling his fingers in his sweat-soaked hair. Not even realizing he had been moving, Loki took several steps back until his back hit a solid surface._

_At first he stood there and tried to get his breathing under control, but then he lowered his hands, ever so slowly. The temperature of the room felt as if summer had suddenly become winter in less than a few seconds. And something about the air felt electric, making the hairs on the back of Loki's neck stand on-end._

_A strong gust of wind struck him in the face like a slap, and before he could utter any sort of verbal response, Loki's arms were pinned at his sides, against the wall. He tried to push himself away with his feet, which he could still move only a little bit, but it was no use. He started to squirm when his body began sliding up the wall. It was rigid and bumpy, and he had to be careful to make sure he didn't accidentally bite down on his tongue. When it stopped, he could feel blood dripping down his back and in his hair from when his head scraped the wall a few times._

_Loki was tired. He was tired, and he just wanted this all to be over. His head and back were throbbing, as well as his knees and palms from when he hit the ground earlier. Whatever wanted to kill him, he just hoped they would do it quickly. He closed his eyes, thinking that would make it easier. Then he began to dream._

_This new place in his dream-within-a-dream was in the midst of a storm of some sort. Clouds and mists engulfed the land, and visibility was non-existent. Far off in the distance a fiery red glow was barely distinguishable. Lightning cut through the thick fog, but as soon as the light was gone the clouds would form together again._

_Three small shadows crept through the mist, each carrying weapons. They were heading towards the large shapes of a cow and a giant man, both sleeping. The cow heard the sound of the metal weapons clinking together and was jarred awake. The man woke a few moments later, but it was not soon enough._

_The three smaller men leaped at him and drew their weapons, taking advantage of his drowsy state. Despite the larger man's obvious advantage regarding his size, he was out-numbered and unarmed. After putting up as much of a fight as he could, the giant fell to their swords. His body had been cut into several pieces, and the earth began to tremble._

_Loki's head nodded forward, and he woke himself up. When he opened his eyes he saw with disappointment that he was still trapped in the cave. Then he noticed a strange sensation coming from the entire back end of his body. It was as if he could no longer feel it. It started to move to his shoulders and ears._

_Loki started screaming as his right shoulder passed through the wall. He knew he was going to die here, but he didn't want it to be like this. It had reached his cheekbones, which were soaked with salty tears. Just as his eyes were about to vanish into the wall, he heard a voice that chilled him to the core._

_“I've found you.”_

~*~

Thor hadn't been sleeping too soundly. Partly because he drank too much wine, but mostly because he was worried about Loki. He tried to convince himself that Loki would talk to them if, or when, he was ready, so Thor had no reason to lose sleep over it. Only about an hour after he had finally fallen asleep, he heard noises coming from Loki's room, which was next door to his. What it sounded like was Loki's bed slamming against the wall.

As far as Thor knew, Loki's only sexual conquest was...that one time we're not supposed to talk about ever.

Thor sat up slightly when he heard a knock at his door.

“Come in.”

It was Fandral, who looked surprisingly unaffected by the alcohol he had consumed earlier that evening. He seemed somewhat uncertain whether he should ask the obvious question, looking at Loki's room, then at Thor.

“Is there somebody in there with him?” Thor shrugged.

Suddenly a white shape rushed past them and entered the room next door without saying a word to either of them. Thor jerked his head in question.

“Freyr.”

“We should see what's happening.”

When both men entered the room, they saw Freyr pressing Loki's arms into the mattress. Loki was still trying to wriggle out of his grip, and he was muttering something over and over again.

“I can't get him to lie still enough for me to sedate him,” Freyr hissed. “I awoke as soon as I was made aware.”

“Aware of what?” Thor asked.

“There is something evil in his thoughts, and it is trying to get out. He must either be put into deeper sleep so I can implant dreams in his mind to destroy it, or he needs to be awakened, which could be worse.” 

“Why would that be worse?”

“Because the presence would not be completely destroyed, only suppressed. It could come back.”

“Then I will destroy it myself if that should happen.”

By now Loki's struggles had lessened, but the repetitive muttering had not, even if it was a bit slurred.

“I give you leave to try,” Freyr said softly, then released his grip on Loki's arms. If anyone could say the phrase “Knock yourself out” in a polite way, it would be Freyr.

Thor sat down on the bed and watched his brother wearily flail his arms around, almost looking like a baby still trying to learn how fingers and toes worked. The fight had gone out of him. As Loki's right arm was in mid-swing, Thor caught his wrist and held the trembling hand between his two warm calloused ones.

“Loki, if you can hear me, please wake up. You cannot let this thing win. Fight it!” 

Thor wiped Loki's brow with his right hand, and when he pulled away there was a dark red smear left behind. He looked at his palm and saw no wounds, but when he inspected Loki's, he saw that both of his hands had scrapes and minor cuts. He then noticed a dark stain on the pillow behind his head and felt the back and nape of his neck. It was damp and sticky. 

“Where did these wounds come from?”

“Can you not harbor a guess?” Freyr responded.

“You mean to tell me that whatever happened to Loki in his dream has somehow affected him in real life? How is that possible?”

“It shouldn't be. But it has happened before our very eyes.”

“What was all that rambling he was saying before?” Fandral spoke up.

“I do not know. It is an ancient Elvish dialect that hasn't been used for centuries. But there is someone who may be able to translate it. Wait a moment while I send for him.”

After Freyr silently swept from the room, Fandral looked at Thor with a raised eyebrow.

“I don't know how anybody can move around that quietly all the damn time. It's a bit too strange for my taste.” Thor shrugged. He couldn't really say anything about it, considering Loki was always accusing him of being one of the loudest people in the Nine Realms. “I think he's starting to wake up.”

Thor turned his head so quickly his neck popped. The way that Loki's eyes were fluttering was as if just opening them was a struggle. When he finally did manage to open them all the way, Loki's gaze turned to Thor. A look of shock registered in his face, but Thor couldn't quite put a name to it. He wasn't sure if Loki was surprised or angry to see him there, or maybe—and hopefully—this was one of Loki's old expressions he would wear if he was deeply troubled and needed his brother.

Cold and clammy hands grasped at his arms, and when Loki tried to pull himself up into a sitting position, Thor almost told him to lay back down. He thought better of it and remained where he was, letting his brother do it without any aid. As soon as Loki was sitting up, he immediately wrapped his arms around Thor's back and shoulders. The hot tears and shuddering breaths on his bare chest made Thor realize that he'd forgotten to put a shirt on before he left his room. He wanted to put his hands somewhere, but Loki's head was bleeding, and so was his back, he then noticed.

“Don't let him get me. Please. Don't let him get me.”

“Who? Who is after you, Loki?”

“Ymir.” Thor leaned back and looked down at Loki sharply. 

“That's not possible. My father killed him thousands of years ago.”

“I saw him. I can hear him in my head.”

“Loki, they ripped his body apart. His limbs and organs made up the landforms and water. Everybody knows this, even me, the one who never reads.” 

“Your father may have destroyed his body, but not his _mind_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay crazy ass mindfuckery up in this bitch! I seriously don't know what any of that was okay. It just sort of happened, like the napkins in Sherlock.


	12. Alfheim: Lost In Translation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for so long. A lot has happened in the past couple of years (including moving to a different state). The updates will still be slow, but I just wanted to reassure everyone that I have not abandoned this story. Especially because I have so many ideas!

“Loki, you don't actually mean...” Thor began hesitantly. “Well, you know the story surely, his brain made the clouds.”

“I'm not talking about his _brain_ , Thor! I'm talking about his _mind!_ His consciousness! He. Is. Not. _Dead_.” Loki furrowed his brow when he at last noticed the blood smeared all over Thor's skin. He then looked at his own hands and saw the cuts. “Why am I bleeding?”

“Freyr said that whatever happened to you inside your dream has affected your physical body. You were wounded, yes?”

“Yes, I fell and scraped my hands and knees. And then on the wall, my head...” 

Loki reached up and felt the back of his head, and the hair was sticky and crusty. His lip curled at the sensation. Just to make sure, he reached his hand around to his back and winced. That was what hurt the most.

Loki had calmed down somewhat by the time Freyr returned. With him was an Elf who looked like he could be Thor's great-grandfather. There were more wrinkles and lines in his face than tree bark. Even though this was Thor's first time to actually come into contact with the Elves, he had never expected to meet one that was so old. He didn't even know that they aged in such a way.

Fandral's expression turned into a scowl when Freyr spoke with the Elf in hushed whispers. He really hated that about their host. Suddenly the Elf jerked back and a look of disbelief marred his face. He glanced towards the bed at Loki, back at Freyr, then nodded curtly.

“Can you tell me everything that you remember about your dream?” The Elf asked as he approached the bed. Loki shook his head.

“Don't make me think about that place again. I can't go back into that cave again.” 

“Loki, it's alright. You are safe now,” Thor said in a calming manner.

“No, I'm _not!_ Why does no one believe me?!”

“We _do_ believe you. He only wants to translate for us, that's all.”

“Translate _what?_ ”

“The words you were repeating over and over again.”

“I was...I don't remember that. What was I saying?”

“If what Lord Freyr tells me is true, you were uttering 'When the Last is sacrificed, the First will return,'” the Elf replied.

“What does _that_ mean?” Fandral asked.

“It means that Ymir is trying to come back,” Thor mused. “But I wonder what it means by 'the last'.”

'It means me. I am the last of his bloodline. When I die, Ymir will be resurrected,' Loki thought forlornly and looked down at his hands.

Loki let out a puff of air before tipping over. Thor caught him and tilted his chin up to see that he had passed out. Thor looked over his shoulder at Freyr.

“He is...asleep, now. If you wanted to implant those dreams as you said before.” Freyr nodded.

“Yes. But first I must heal his wounds.” The Elf excused himself, his task complete, and Freyr took his place. “First we need to remove his clothing.”

“What?!”

“Have fun, Thor,” Fandral quipped before slipping out of the room.

“He has minor injuries on his knees that will fester if they are not treated,” Freyr explained. “But if it makes you so uncomfortable you can roll up his pants.”

“I think that would be _much_ more suitable, thank you very much.” Thor wasn't trying to lose his temper, but Freyr was just making it too easy.

“We do still need to rid him of his shirt. The wounds on his back are much more severe than any of the others.” Thor resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but nodded his consent. Just as he was about to pass Loki over, Freyr shook his head. “You are his brother.”

Thor would have clenched his hands into fists if he hadn't still been holding onto Loki's arms. Was the Vanir _trying_ to make him angry on purpose? He was nothing like his sister, _that_ Thor knew for certain.

Keeping his frustration—and slight embarrassment—pent up inside, Thor did as his host asked. Slowly inching the garment up, Thor tried to pull Loki's shirt over his head without waking him or causing any pain. When the shirt was completely off, he had to bite down on a gasp.

Loki's back was worse than he'd thought, and Freyr didn't seem to be expecting the severity of the wound either.

Without wasting any time, Freyr held his hands an inch above the torn flesh and began muttering an incantation. Thor thought to himself that the old Loki would have been able to translate it in an instant. He wondered if his brother would ever go back to the way he was.

When Freyr was finished healing Loki's back, he moved to his head. He then told Thor to lie him down so he could heal Loki's knees and hands. He would have jumped for joy when Freyr was finished, but that was a bit excessive.

“That should be all. He will sleep until morning. You ought to rest as well.”

“No. I'll stay here and keep an eye on him. Just in case.”

“If you wish. I will not stop you.” Without saying another word, the Vanir left the room as quietly as he came.

~*~

Thor had no idea what time it was, so he didn't know how long it would be before Loki woke up. He wanted to leave as soon as possible. This place, and its people, made him uneasy.

He didn't realize how tired he was until he started yawning continuously. He figured he could rest his eyes for a little while. But everyone knows that never works. When Thor woke up a few hours later, it was from someone roughly shaking him.

“Thor, get off! You're crushing my legs!”

Thor quickly sat up and blinked through the grogginess and vertigo that washed over him. He then turned his attention to Loki, who was massaging his knees and had a grimace on his face.

“Loki, are you alright? How do you feel?” The younger male spared him a reproachful look, and Thor tried his best not to shrink back.

“Other than the throbbing in my legs, I'm fine,” he deadpanned. Thor averted his gaze.

“I am so sorry, Loki.”

“No need to worry. They should be fine in a few minutes,” he said flippantly.

“That's not what I mean. I...I am sorry for everything. For making you come with us to Alfheim. For not abiding your wishes. For—”

“Shut up, Thor.” Loki ran a hand through his hair and perked up when he felt no blood on the back of his head. He released a tired sigh. “I know you're sorry. But words of apology won't change the past. Making me normal again is the only way to set things right.” Thor was quiet for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Then he remembered something.

“Loki, do you remember having any dreams last night?” Loki looked at him strangely.

“You mean besides the one where I was sucked into a wall?”

“Yes. Besides that one.” Loki thought about it for a few seconds.

“None that I can recall. Why?”

“Well, because Freyr said he would implant dreams into your mind to help you sleep. I was just curious as to what they may have been about.”

“Oh. No, I don't remember anything.” Loki looked down at the bedspread and ran his fingers over the pattern.

As Thor watched him, he remembered what Sif had told him the previous evening. He knew he shouldn’t ask, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. As it always did.

“Loki, what memory did the feather show you?” He blurted out. Loki stiffened, and Thor immediately wished he could take his question back. His brother looked scared; but he couldn’t tell if he was scared of the memory itself, or scared of what Thor might do to him. “Actually, you know what, it doesn’t really matter—”

“I cut off Sif’s hair.”

The two siblings sat in silence. All they could hear were birds in the trees outside Loki’s window. Thor let out a breath, which made the other male jump.

“Oh.”

Thor remembered that day well, and what happened afterwards. He had threatened Loki to fix the mess he’d made, and when he made the deal with the Dwarves, they didn’t keep their word. The scars around Loki’s mouth took almost an entire year to heal. Thor wondered if that was a part of the memory.

The tense moment between the two brothers was interrupted by a knock at the door. Thor got up and answered it. Freyr entered the room, followed by an Elf attendant. The Elf had a pile of folded clothes in his arms.

“Good morning, sons of Odin. I had your clothes washed while you slept, and I found some extra garments for your journey,” Freyr spoke. He turned to the attendant and nodded once, then the Elf placed the clothing at the foot of the bed.

“Thank you,” Loki said quietly.

“Your friends are already eating breakfast. My attendant will remain in the corridor while you dress. He will then take you downstairs. If I do not see you before you leave, I wish you luck on your journey.”

Freyr turned and left the room, followed by his attendant. Thor then went to the door and lingered for a moment. He wanted to tell Loki he would see him soon, but it seemed meaningless. Instead, he left the room without saying anything.

Loki would never admit it out loud, but he was relieved to finally be alone. He got up from the bed, and his rolled-up pant legs slid down to his ankles. They were _very_ wrinkled. 

“Well, I guess I can’t wear these,” he mumbled. 

He picked up the outer shirt he had been wearing the night before and decided it was too complicated to put on by himself. He looked at the clothes Freyr had given him and knew he would have an easier time with them.

After changing clothes, he tried not to wriggle like a cat, but the material was so soft! It was smoother than silk, if that was even possible. He couldn’t help but run his fingertips over the garment. The shirt and pants were both cream colored, and the v-neck collar had a braided pattern along the edge. A similar design was on the seam of the pants.

Loki knew he had lingered long enough and slipped on his shoes. But the boots didn’t look right, so instead he tried on the pair Freyr had brought. They probably weren’t meant for walking long distances, but he would have time later to figure it all out. At least he hoped so.

When Loki opened the door, he saw that Thor was already waiting. For some reason, Loki wasn’t surprised that Thor was wearing the same outfit he had on yesterday. When the Elf turned to lead the brothers downstairs, his eyes widened for a brief moment at Loki’s appearance. The shock passed quickly, and he gestured for them to follow him.

“It looks good on you,” Thor said.

“Oh. Thank you,” Loki replied. “I couldn’t figure out how to put on my other clothes.”

“Well, that’s alright. Change is always good.”

“I suppose.”

When they entered the dining room, their mouths started watering at the smells. For people who didn’t consume any kind of meat, they sure knew how to make up for it. The Warriors Three didn’t appear to notice their arrival and kept eating. Sif smiled at them before taking a sip of her wine.

“Welcome, sons of Odin,” Freyr said in greeting. “Are your plans to leave after you have eaten?”

“Yes. That was the plan,” Thor replied as he took an empty seat next to Fandral.

“I see. But Master Loki appears to be ready for a nap.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked sharply.

“Well, you are wearing a night shirt.”

Loki’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. So that was why the Elf had looked at him strangely. Thor kept his head down and tried not to blush. He had just told his brother that he looked good in pajamas. Freyr said something in Elvish to the attendant, who bowed and motioned for Loki to follow him upstairs. Fandral let out a chuckle and Sif kicked him under the table.

“This is where I must leave you,” Freyr spoke again. “Be safe, brave travelers.” Without saying another word, Freyr left the room.

Thor began filling his plate, occasionally glancing at the doorway. But it would be a while before Loki appeared again. And he knew that once Loki came back, he would have to eat. He went to bed without supper last night, which he actually used to do quite a lot. Before the accident.

Thor just really wanted to move on to the next realm. He was never content with staying in one place for very long. That was why he went on so many adventures with his friends. However, until his brother returned to the way he once was, Thor would need to learn how to be more patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freyr's such a dick.


	13. ???? - On An Island With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a filler chapter before we get to the real plot.

When Loki returned, he averted his gaze and was shown to his seat. He grabbed a few items from the nearest platter, mostly fruits and cheeses, then took a long swig from his wine glass. Thor kept watching him, and Loki could feel the other man’s eyes on him. He tried to ignore it for as long as he could, but it was starting to be too much.

“What are you staring at?” Loki snapped and shot a glare at his brother.

“Nothing. Just wanted to make sure you got enough to eat.” Loki scoffed.

“I may not have any memories from my past life, but I think I know how to eat properly.”

“You are probably right.”

“But you don’t know how to dress yourself properly,” Fandral chimed in, earning another kick to the shins from Sif.

“You’re just lucky I don’t have my magic back.” Fandral nodded with a smirk. “Yet.”

Thor hid a smile and finished off his wine. That sounded like the old Loki talking.

After everyone was finished eating, they all made their way to the main foyer, where all of their belongings had been brought down. They checked their bags to make sure everything was accounted for, and then they all went outside. Through the trees they could see an open field, and they knew it had to be where the Bifrost had dropped them. The markings were still there, so they spread out evenly within the large circle.

“Heimdall, we are ready to travel to the next world,” Thor said.

As the clouds parted, Thor looked over at Loki. His clothes were all black; simple, but elegant. The blouse appeared to be made of velvet, and silver buttons sparkled in the morning sunlight. Loki met his eyes, but before he could say anything, they were enveloped in light and their feet left the ground.

~*~

When the Bifrost returned home, the travelers glanced around, hoping to figure out where they were. Then they saw each other.

“What the Hel?!” Sif yelled in a high-pitched voice.

“Well, we can definitely say that there is a feather here,” Thor said in a voice almost as high.

“But why are we, I don’t know, ten years old?” Volstagg asked. They all looked at their axe-wielding friend and saw no beard, but his rosy cheeks were somewhat puffy. “What?”

“Loki, do you feel anything?” Thor asked.

“Umm…” Loki looked in every direction. He brought a hand up to his lips and turned around. He tried to stare far ahead of him, and he shifted nervously. “I… I don’t know.”

“Well, there _has_ to be one. I mean look at us!” Fandral remarked. He just wanted to change back because of all the acne on his face.

“I know that, but I can’t feel anything. I wouldn’t know where to start looking. I mean, there is nothing out here.”

“Well, everyone pick a direction. Take one hundred steps in that direction, then come back and let us know if you can see any civilization,” Thor said. The others nodded in consent, then decided what direction to go. “Ready? Onward!”

Loki went northwest, or at least he thought it was northwest. As he was counting, he felt as if he hadn’t gone very far, and he wondered if they should have doubled the number of steps. But he had no way of telling the others. All he could do was hope one of them found something.

“Ninety-seven… ninety-eight… ninety-nine… one hundred.” He looked around and saw little to no change since he started. The only difference was a group of large trees in the distance. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go just a little bit farther.”

When the Warriors Three made it back, they saw Thor already there. Sif joined them a moment later.

“I couldn’t see anything. What about you all?” Sif asked. They all shook their heads. “How long have you been waiting for us, Thor?”

“I never left.”

“What? Why not?”

“Well, because…” He gestured to his right, and they saw Mjollnir embedded in the ground. “I can’t lift it in this form, and I was afraid to leave it, and all of our belongings unattended. Forgive me.”

“That’s alright, Thor. But I have seen no trace of other people,” Fandral said. Thor looked around, then did so again.

“Where is Loki?” None of the others knew. “What direction did he go?”

“I think he went that way,” Sif answered, pointing towards the northwest. “Do you want us to come with you?”

“No. You all rest. I will go, but I need you to watch our possessions.” Sif nodded, but said nothing. “I will return with Loki. Soon, I hope.”

He set off in the direction Sif told him to go and looked to the west. The sun was in the center of the sky, and it was nearing dusk. Thor picked up his pace. He didn’t know if he would be able to find Loki in the dark, especially because he was wearing all black.

When he counted one hundred steps, he started to panic when he saw no sign of his brother. Had Sif been wrong? He brought his hands up and curved them around his mouth.

“Loki! Loki!”

“Thor!” It was far away, but he could hear it.

“Where are you?!”

“Up here! In this tree!” Thor squinted his eyes, and then he saw a small black shape near the top of the nearest tree.

“Loki, don’t move! I’ll be right there!” Thor ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. When he got to the tree, he saw that it was a lot taller than he had originally thought. “How did you get up there?”

“I found these on my belt,” Loki answered, brandishing two large daggers. Well, they looked large in his tiny hands, but they were actually Loki’s throwing knives. He never went anywhere without them.

“Can you see anything?”

“Yes. Water. On all sides.”

“We must be on an island.”

“And guess what else I found!”

“Did you find your feather?” Loki nodded. “Then why haven’t you… you know?”

“Because you showed up.”

Thor looked away sheepishly. He tried to could all the trees in the area, but there were so many. And how strange it was that the feather would be in the one tree Loki decided to climb. Unless he felt that it was up there. Thor would have said it was a coincidence, but then he remembered what the Eir told him. He was about to ask Loki about it when he looked up and saw him put the feather to his chest.

Loki closed his eyes as the memory entered his mind. A few seconds passed by, and then Thor became concerned when Loki swayed back and forth. He knew that seeing the memories made him dizzy, but he wasn’t sure if it was enough to make him lose his grip. Almost as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Loki was falling.

“LOKI!”

Thor held his arms out in front of him, and he could feel his legs growing. But he dared not look down and risk losing sight of Loki. He watched as his brother’s limbs slowly returned to their normal size. Thor planted his feet firmly on the ground and took a solid stance. As soon as Loki’s back made contact with his arms, Thor bent his legs then slowly knelt to the ground. He brushed some stray bangs out of Loki’s eyes, and he felt the skin under his fingertips become slightly warmer.

Thor sat and waited a few more minutes, and his brother still had not opened his eyes. He didn’t want to force him to wake up, but the sun was beginning to set, and he preferred not to travel through a strange place in the dark. He waited one more minute, then decided to try and wake him. He shook Loki’s shoulder lightly, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he blinked his green eyes open.

“Forgive me for waking you, Brother, but we really should be returning to our friends. If we do not leave soon, I fear we will be unable to find our way in the dark.”

“No, you are right,” Loki replied as he got up on shaky legs. Thor was instantly at his side and wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulders. “Thanks.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” 

“No. Just a bit tired. It’s nothing to worry about. I will be alright in a little while. But we should probably go.”

“Yes. Of course.” As they began walking southeast, Thor gradually eased his hold until he was certain that Loki could walk on his own. “What was the memory about this time?”

“I’m not quite certain. There was a very big man, or maybe he was a giant, with a horse. And they were building some kind of wall.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Do you know what that could have been about?” Loki asked, looking up at the other male.

“Uh… no. I do not believe so,” Thor lied and avoided Loki’s eyes.

“Oh. Well, it probably wasn’t important anyway.”

“You may be right about that.”

Thor felt bad for lying to Loki, but he just didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. He knew exactly which memory it was, but it didn't seem to reveal itself in its entirety. Thor knew it would be too much to hope that the rest of the memory would never be found. He didn't know how Loki would handle it if he did find out.

~*~

They made it back to the others faster than they had originally expected. Most likely it was forgotten that they were all about three feet tall when they went exploring. Thor felt sort of silly for worrying, but he made no more mention of it.

“Were you able to figure out where we are?” Sif asked as she lifted her bag over her shoulder.

“Loki was up in a tree and he said he could see water all around. It’s my guess that we are on an island somewhere,” Thor answered her. Now that he was fully-grown again, he was able to lift Mjollnir and return it to his hip.

“Well, thank the gods that we are all back to normal,” Fandral said with a sigh.

“What’s the matter, Fandral? You can’t handle a few pimples?” Volstagg asked with a smirk.

“Oh, like _you’re_ one to talk!”

“Me? And whatever do you mean by that?” Volstagg replied with sarcasm.

“I thought if I were to poke your cheeks they would pop and deflate!”

“Are we really back to normal? Because I think those two have still yet to grow up,” Loki muttered. Thor chuckled under his breath and Sif rolled her eyes, but there was a thin smile on her face.

“Does everyone have all that they need?” Thor asked no one in particular. After receiving a few nods, he looked up at the sky. “Heimdall, we are ready to travel to the next world.”

As they waited for the Bifrost to envelope them in its light, Loki turned and looked back in the direction he had traveled. He wondered if this land really was uninhabited, or if the natives had been watching them the entire time. No one else seemed to have seen other people or animals, but it could have still been possible that they were not alone.

For a split second, his mind wandered back to the memory the feather had showed him. He wondered what it really meant, and if he would see what happened next. He was slightly jolted when he was pulled into the sky, and he shut his eyes to the brightness surrounding him.

As soon as their feet touched the earth, every member of the traveling party found themselves sinking. They saw black sand that stretched for miles, and there didn’t appear to be any rock formations or solid ground anywhere. The sky was a strange color. It was a grayish yellow, and there were thick clouds that looked almost toxic. There was no breeze, and the air was thick with an odd smell, almost like death.

“What evil sort of place is this?” Thor asked.

“The only realm I know of with a sky like this is Svartalfheim,” Hogun spoke. “But that is the only thing that remains the same. It is not supposed to be this desolate.”

“Then there must be a feather here. Loki, can you feel anything?”

“Yes,” Loki answered, looking around in every direction. “It’s here, but it is very deep. Beneath the sand, I think.”

“Well, let’s start digging.”


	14. Svartalfheim - Mr. Sandman, Bring Me A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but I kind of made Fandral the comic relief in this chapter. There was too much angst and I just really needed him to say a bunch of stupid shit.

“Well, Loki? Can you tell which direction we need to go?” Thor asked.

“Actually, the feather is directly under us. Only it is deep below the ground.”

“Remind me when this is all over to give Heimdall a big hug,” Fandral said, earning _yet another_ eye roll from Sif.

“Alright. Let’s get started.”

After they set their packs down several yards away, because they didn’t want to fling sand all over their things, they knelt down and began scooping large handfuls of dirt. 

“I wish there was a breeze,” Fandral commented, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Fandral, it has been five seconds,” Sif deadpanned. “You don’t hear Loki complaining. No offense.”

“None taken,” Loki said with a shrug. He felt there was really no reason to complain at this point. But maybe that was the kind of person he had been before this whole mess started. Needless to say, Fandral kept his mouth shut.

A few more minutes went by, and they still had found nothing. Thor kept it to himself, but he really wished they had shovels. It would make this go by a lot quicker, that was for sure. But they had plenty of time. It was still several hours before sunset, or at least it appeared that way to Thor.

Suddenly, Loki let out a hiss and clutched at his chest. Everyone stopped digging and watched him. Thor crawled over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was breathing heavily, and his face was contorted with pain. He didn’t even seem to notice that Thor was next to him.

“Loki, are you alright?” Loki’s breathing started evening out, and when his eyes met Thor’s, they were slightly glassed over. “Do you need to rest?” He shook his head.

“No. There was a very sharp pain. And a terrible feeling came over me.” He was panting as he talked, as if the pain was still affecting him.

“What kind of feeling?”

“That we should stop looking for this feather. Because something bad will happen when we find it.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound very promising,” Fandral said.

“I’m sorry for making a fuss.”

“There is nothing you need to apologize for. And no matter what, we are going to make sure nothing bad happens to you,” Thor said.

“Thor is right,” Sif chimed in. “We all want you to return to your old self.”

Loki nodded, but he kept his gaze downwards. He was trying to hold back a grimace, and he didn’t want the others to see his discomfort. When he scooped more dirt into his hands, Thor finally let go of his shoulder and moved back to his previous spot. Even though none of them said anything, they could all tell that Loki was struggling.

They kept digging, until their heads were below ground level. Loki would work for a few minutes, then stop to catch his breath. The deeper they went, the worse this feeling of foreboding affected him. It was as if there was a thick blanket placed across his shoulders, and it would gradually get heavier and heavier.

“Does anybody want some water?” Thor asked.

“Yes,” they all replied, sounding very tired.

Thor unholstered Mjolnir and flew out of the hole. He searched everyone’s belongings and pulled out five leathern flasks, and one made of a material Thor couldn’t identify. It was given to Loki by the Elves, and he wondered if the contents were enchanted in some way. Holding them by the straps, Thor leaped over the edge and used Mjolnir to slow his descent. He tossed a flask to each of his companions, kept one for himself, then handed the Elven flask to Loki.

Loki looked at Thor gratefully, then opened the flask and took a sip. His brows furrowed and he licked his lips. He started at the flask as if it held all the answers to the universe.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked as he put the stopper on.

“It’s sweet. Like honey and… something else. What are you all drinking?”

“Just water.”

“Oh.” Suddenly his eyes widened. “I feel refreshed! My chest no longer hurts, and I have more strength.”

“Hey, give me some of that,” Fandral said as he snatched the flask out of Loki’s hand. Before Loki could make any retort, Fandral took a couple swigs. A few seconds went by, and the same bewildered expression Loki had a moment ago appeared on Fandral’s face. “Whoa. You guys need to try this.”

Volstagg held up his hands and Fandral tossed the flask over to him. Hogun watched them silently, and Sif looked like her head was going to explode.

“Save some for Loki! It belongs to him!” She frowned when Volstagg threw it at her.

“Don’t worry, Sif. Even as I drank, I could feel it refilling on its own,” Fandral said.

Sif squeezed the silver pouch in her slender hand, and it felt as if nothing had been consumed. She looked over at Loki, as if asking for permission.

“It’s alright, Sif,” he said with a slight smile.

She sniffed the flask, then she took a sip. She then handed it to Hogun, who was next to her. Volstagg let out a sigh and pounded his chest with a fist.

“I feel as if I could dig _a thousand_ holes!”

“I do as well, my friend,” Fandral added. “But I only have the desire to dig this one.”

After Thor had his share, he gave the flask back to Loki, who put the stopper on. Thor went around and collected everyone’s flasks, flew over the edge, and returned them to their proper places. When he reentered the hole, he saw that the others were already digging.

“Thank you, Loki.”

“Thank Freyr, not me.”

The tone in Loki’s voice was one of finality, so Thor left it at that and went back to digging. Another hour went by, and they did not tire. Loki broke the long silence when he let out a cry of astonishment. The others watched him as he dug with a new fervor, clawing at the dirt. He then plunged his hand deep, until the dirt was up to his elbow. He pulled his arm out slowly, and as the grains of black sand slipped through his fingers, a faint glow could be seen.

“Well done, Brother,” Thor said.

Sif gestured to the others to start climbing out, to give Loki some space. While they crawled to the top, Thor remained at Loki’s side. He wanted to be there if Loki became too weak to climb out on his own. He watched as Loki brushed all of the dirt off the feather, then he held it up to his chest. As the feather entered his body, Loki closed his eyes and waited for the memory to reveal itself.

~*~

_It was dark. Everything had a faint blue hue, and Loki felt himself shivering. He heard gruff voices talking in another language, and he could also hear a baby crying nearby. Then he realized he was the one crying._

_There was a shushing noise to his right, and then a large man appeared in his vision. It was the giant from his first memory. Laufey, his father._

_“Do not cry, my son,” Laufey said in a tender voice. Completely the opposite from the way he spoke in Tom’s movie. “I promise you this is only for a short time. And once the enemy is defeated, I will come back for you.”_

_Laufey was speaking in the tongue of the giants, but somehow Loki was able to understand him. Maybe because it was in his blood._

_“You will be safe. Even the All-Father would not spill blood in a sacred place." When he said 'All-Father,' there was venom in his voice. "And do not worry. Helblindi and Byleistr are safe, as well.”_

_“Who?” Loki tried to ask, but it only came out as a spit bubble._

_Laufey looked down at him fondly, and then he turned his gaze somewhere else when footsteps approached. Loki could feel the ground shake underneath him when the newcomer entered the room._

_“My King, your men are awaiting your orders.”_

_“Very good, Thrym. Tell them I will be there shortly. I have one last thing I must take care of.”_

_“Yes, my King. As you wish.”_

_The floor began vibrating again as Thrym left the room. Laufey wrapped the blanket tighter around Loki, and then he smiled down at him. There was sadness in his crimson eyes, as if he was unsure they would ever meet again._

_“Are you ready, my little light?” Laufey picked Loki up into his arms and patted his head gently. “Go to sleep now, little starlight. Think only of happy dreams. And when you awaken, all will be at peace.”_

_Trapped in this tiny body, Loki felt like sobbing. But Laufey must have put a spell on him, because his eyelids were drooping. He tried to reach out to his father, but his hands wouldn’t move. As he lost the fight to drowsiness, his head fell forward onto Laufey’s broad shoulder, and sleep took him._

~*~

Thor watched as Loki slowly lifted his head, and he became concerned when tears streamed down his face. Loki let out a choked sob and clutched at his chest. He was so worried about his brother, that he didn’t notice the ground start trembling.

Already on level ground, Sif and the Warriors Three watched in horror as mountains suddenly shot out of the earth. Then the piles of sand began filling the hole at a fast rate.

“Thor! Get out of there!” Sif yelled.

She managed to make her way over to the ledge and saw that the sand had hardened around their legs. Thor had an arm around Loki and held Mjolnir above their heads to try and pull them out. But like an hourglass, the sand filled the hole until it had completely covered them. When the sand leveled out, the ground hardened.

“No! Thor!” The four warriors tried digging with their fingers, but the dirt was too hard. Sif drew her dagger and started chipping away at the dirt. “Volstagg, use your axe! Use your swords! Any means necessary, but we have to get them out of there!”

Hogun struck the ground with his Morningstar, and Fandral even used his sword. Nothing they did had any effect. A few seconds went by, and there was still no change. Then the ground began to tremble, and they all jumped back as the tremors increased. A crack appeared in the dirt, and sparks shot out of the small opening.

Suddenly, Mjolnir broke through the surface, and bolts of lightning danced in all directions. With a loud thud, Thor and Loki landed on the ground a few yards away. The warriors ran over to them, and they were covered from head to toe in black dust. The two brothers looked into each other’s eyes, and with a sob, Loki leaned against Thor’s chest. As he cried, Thor rubbed his back and laid his chin on the top of his head. 

A few more minutes went by, and the brothers were still lying in the same position. Loki’s cries had died down to sniffles, and as the four warriors watched from the side, they were all wondering the same thing: Was Loki shaken up because of the memory he had recovered? Or was it because he had just been buried alive? Maybe even both. 

Finally, just as the eerie green sun was beginning to set in the west, Loki separated himself from Thor. They both got up slowly, and somewhat unsteadily, and they tried to brush some of the dirt off. Sif and the others were lost for words. What could they say to him after what they had just witnessed?

“Let’s go. I want to get as far away from this horrible place as possible,” Loki said with a slight tremor in his voice.

“Agreed,” Thor replied. “Hopefully we won’t ever have to come back here.”

“Hear, hear!” Fandral shouted.

After they had all grabbed their bags and slung them over their shoulders, they entered the circle carved into the ground. Thor looked over at Loki, who still had a somewhat haunted expression on his face. Without moving his gaze from his brother, he called to the Gatekeeper.

“Heimdall, we are ready to travel to the next world.”

As if sensing their urgency to leave, the Bifrost appeared quicker than normal. Within a few seconds, they were flying across the cosmos, towards their next challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!! All the mother fuckin' feels, man! Okay, so true story. I was listening to the Thor and Thor 2 soundtracks while I was writing this. When I got to the memory part, the song Deliverance (the scene in Thor 2 where Loki "dies") was playing. I was bawling my eyes out. WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF?!


	15. Jotunheim - The Prodigal Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three guesses what this chapter is about. And because I'm such a nice author, this will be sort of a double-chapter. You're welcome.

Even before their feet had touched the ground, they knew where they had ended up because of how cold it had suddenly become. When the Bifrost returned home, everyone was squinting their eyes, trying to take in their surroundings. Well, everyone was except Loki, who could see perfectly fine. He heard a couple grumbles and he watched as Thor and the others opened their packs and dug around for their fur cloaks. Loki searched through the items the Elves had given him and found a cloak. He put it on just for show, because the cool air felt good to him.

“Alright,” Thor said as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. “Do you feel the presence of a feather?”

Loki was silent for a moment, and he looked around. Even though the two memories he had recovered were short, he tried to spot something familiar. Or maybe he would find some sort of structure. The realm itself seemed to be falling apart. Even as that thought crossed his mind, a large chunk of rock broke off a cliff-face and tumbled loudly into the deep canyon below.

No,” he finally answered, then he began walking in the direction the rock had fallen.

“Well, if there is no feather here, we have no reason to stay.”

“You all can leave if you want to,” he said without stopping.

“Wait a second, Loki!” Thor walked briskly to catch up with the other man. “We can’t leave without you.”

“Then come with me.”

“Loki!” Thor reached out and grabbed Loki’s arm. Finally, Loki turned around and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

“There is something I need to confirm.”

“Confirm? What are you talking about? Do you even know where you’re going?”

“Haven’t the slightest idea. All I know is I need to find the palace.”

“The palace?! Loki, this is an enemy realm! We are not welcome here!” Loki just watched him impassively. “And besides, if we stay here much longer, the Frost Giants will find us,” he said in a quieter voice, looking over his shoulder.

“I know. That is the whole point.” Thor looked confused, but what else was new? “I want them to find us so they will take us to the palace.”

“Or they will kill us.” Loki shook his head.

“No one is dying today. Not after they hear my bargain.”

By this time, Sif and the Warriors Three had deemed it relatively safe enough to follow the two brothers. They all stood and watched the siblings argue back and forth.

“Loki, forgive me for asking this, but are you feeling alright? I know the events of Svartalfheim were alarming, and I just hope you are thinking clearly.”

“Yes, it was frightening. I still have images replaying themselves in my head. But my judgment is not hindered in any way. The memory I recovered left me with more questions, and this is the only way I can get answers.”

“Answers to _what?_ Loki, what is going on?” Instead of answering him, Loki’s green eyes shifted to the left, and he seemed to be listening for something.

“Well, that didn’t take very long.”

“ _What_ didn’t take very long?” Thor asked begrudgingly, because he already knew the answer.

“For them to find us.”

As if it was an instant reflex, Sif and the Warriors Three formed a circle and faced outward, drawing their weapons. Thor took Mjolnir into his hand and searched the nearby rock formations for any movement. A moment later, the shadows shifted, and several Frost Giants approached from all sides. The warriors looked up when they saw giants appear on top of the nearby cliffs.

“Why are you here, Asgardians?” It was impossible to tell where the voice was coming from, because it echoed all around them. Loki thought for a second that the voice was familiar. He needed to hear it again.

“I have come to speak to your King,” Loki proclaimed.

“And why would the King want to see a band of Asgardian _murderers?_ ”

“He may have no interest in my companions, but he will speak to me.”

“For what reason?”

There was no doubt about it in Loki’s mind. The voice belonged to Thrym.

“Because I am not Asgardian. I am one of your kinsmen.” There was a murmuring among the Frost Giants and a chorus of gasps from Sif and the others.

“You _lie_ ,” the voice spat. There was a crackling sound as ice encased the giants’ arms and sharpened into weapons. Since they had become hostile, Loki felt it would be a bad idea to call Thrym by name.

“Let me prove to you that we share the same blood.” Loki shifted the fur cloak and rolled up his shirt sleeve. He then held his bare arm out to the nearest Frost Giant.

“Do it. If the little fool wants to harm himself, let him.” The giant lowered its weaponized arm and approached Loki.

“Loki no,” Thor hissed.

“Thor, do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then promise you won’t look at me any differently after this moment.” Thor didn’t know what he meant, but he didn’t want to hurt his brother.

“I promise.”

The Frost Giant had been watching the two men converse, and then the smaller one took a step forward. He grabbed the slender arm with his large hand, just below the wrist. Instead of the sounds of shrieking and sizzling flesh, there was silence. Then something strange happened.

It started at the fingertips, and as the flesh changed from white to blue, raised markings appeared on the top of the hand and continued up the arm. It sounded like a rumble of thunder as the Frost Giants all whispered to each other. They knew those markings very well. They were on the bodies of those born into the line of the Kings of Jotunheim, all the way back to Ymir himself.

The Frost Giant holding Loki’s arm was so mesmerized by what he was seeing that he couldn’t bring himself to let go. The blue crawled up the young man’s neck and reached his face. Curved lines appeared on his forehead, and the last things to change were his eyes. Shifting from emerald to ruby, they possessed a fire the giants had seen burn in their King’s eyes many times before.

The ground shook as another Frost Giant walked up to them. He was slightly taller than the other one, and much older. He looked almost on the verge of tears.

“It cannot be.” Loki knew this was Thrym. “We all thought you were lost. Or killed.”

“As you can see, I am still alive. And I wish to see my father.”

“Yes. Of course, my prince. At once.”

Thrym made a gesture with his arm, and all of the ice weapons receded. The other Frost Giant released Loki’s arm and his flesh began to revert back to its other color. The giants moved in closer, and then they began heading north. Loki’s companions still had yet to utter a sound, and he didn’t turn around to look and see if they were following him. He knew they were because it was a choice between finding shelter or freezing in the open. Thrym slowed down his pace and moved to be next to Loki.

“I was there the day your father took you to the temple. It was the last time anyone ever saw you.”

“Then I assume there is a lot of lost time that needs to be relived.”

“Too much time, my prince,” Thrym said reverently. “Ever since you vanished, you father’s heart froze, and he became bitter. Maybe seeing you alive and well will return him to his old ways.”

“I can only hope.”

~*~

The rest of the journey was silent. After walking for nearly half an hour, because the Asgardians took smaller steps, a large fortress appeared in the darkness. It was almost as run-down as the rest of the realm. Loki wondered what had caused so much desolation. Then he thought about Tom’s movie, and he pondered whether the Casket that Odin took had anything to do with it. Did the Casket even exist? Or was it something created just for the movie? Loki had to admit, this Jotunheim looked almost identical to the one in the movie.

Thrym threw open a pair of enormous gates, and they slammed into the opposite walls with a shuddering clang. As they walked through what Loki assumed to be a courtyard, more Frost Giants came out to see who Thrym had brought with him. Thrym approached the nearest Frost Giant and muttered in their native tongue. The other giant’s eyes widened, and then he turned around and sprinted, albeit ungracefully, into the palace. Loki guessed Thrym had told him to alert the King that their long-lost prince had returned to them.

They went through the doors in which the other Frost Giant had passed a moment ago. As they traversed the long, dark corridors, a hum of excitement hung in the air. Every so often, heads of smaller giants would peak around corners to try and catch a glimpse of their prince. Loki wondered if they were servants of Laufey’s house, because they weren’t as thick and muscular as Thrym and the other warriors.

At the end of the hall, they reached another pair of doors, and they were more massive and grand than all the others. All around the edges there were carvings, and it took Loki a second to realize they were the same as the markings that appeared on his body. The ones on his arm lined the left and right side frames, and the ones on his forehead were at the top. Thrym pushed open the doors, and as they walked through, Loki saw that the markings protruded outward. Just like his own.

Loki tore his eyes away from the doorframe and looked straight ahead. At the top of the dais, sitting on a throne of ice and stone, was a man Loki had only seen twice, and yet deep down in his core he knew they were kin. There were two younger Frost Giants standing on either side of the throne. Laufey’s gaze was fixed on him, and try as he might, Loki couldn’t find the strength to look away. As he got closer to the stairs, his heart began thudding in his chest. He thought everyone in the room could hear it.

Thrym maneuvered himself in front of Loki, and then he got down on one knee and bowed before his King. Laufey’s eyes never left Loki for a second, which was starting to make him nervous.

“My King, your son, whom we all thought perished all those years ago as an infant, has now returned as a man. He has already proven himself to be true, to me and to the warriors I command. Please, allow me to show you as well.”

Laufey raised his right hand, and Thrym went silent. He stood up from his throne, and Loki had to suppress a shiver at the size of him. With every step he took, the entire realm seemed to tremble in his presence.

“I will be the judge of whether he is true or not.”

Laufey’s voice held no tenderness. He sounded more like the version in Tom’s movie, full of bitterness and hatred for all things Asgardian. Loki felt as if he couldn’t breathe, and as Thrym moved aside and allowed Laufey to take his place, he began to doubt himself. What if it had just been a trick of the eyes? What if Laufey’s touch burned him?

Laufey got down on one knee so he was closer to Loki’s level. Loki couldn’t tear his eyes away from Laufey’s gaze. It looked like there were coals of lava smoldering behind his eyes.

“Well, boy? I haven’t all day.” Now he sounded more like a father telling his son to get on with his story.

Loki blinked rapidly, and the spell that seemed to hold him had finally lifted. He moved the fur cloak aside and rolled up his sleeve again. Laufey gripped his arm so hard that he thought the bones would shatter. Laufey’s eyes narrowed as the boy’s flesh turned blue. As the change spread up his arm, the lines of Laufey’s house began to appear. The two young giants, still standing guard by Laufey’s throne, turned and looked at each other in shock. Laufey looked at Loki’s face, and a knot formed in his throat when the anger in his gaze seemed to melt away.

“Starlight?” Laufey said in almost a whisper, as if he was worried his son might vanish again.

Loki couldn’t hold the dam back any longer, and as the tears flowed from his eyes, they froze on his cheeks. As Laufey drew him into an embrace, Loki broke down into sobs. And if it wasn’t for the large hand on his back, his legs would have given out underneath him. Up until this moment, Thor and the others had been completely silent. Sif moved and stood next to Thor, then she whispered in his ear.

“Thor, please tell me you know what the _Hel_ is going on. Why is Loki being embraced by Laufey, our sworn enemy?”

“I don’t know, Sif.”

“He is your brother, isn’t he?”

“I don’t know, Sif,” Thor said dejectedly.

When Loki’s cries had died out, Laufey looked over his shoulder and motioned for the two giants to join him. They stepped down from the dais obediently.

“Helblindi, Byleistr, meet your younger brother, Loptr.”

‘That’s my name. Loptr. And I have brothers. I have a family!’

“Welcome home, Brother,” the elder of the two said. Loki quickly wiped at his eyes and tried to hold off a blush.

“You are going to make me start crying again,” he muttered.

“We must celebrate this most joyous occasion,” the younger said.

“Fear not, Byleistr. We shall celebrate,” Laufey spoke. “But not tonight. I am sure your brother and his companions are weary from their long journey and are in need of a good rest. We will hold festivities on the morrow, and all of Jotunheim will know that the light of the realm has been returned to its people.”

‘That must be what my name means: light. That would explain the nicknames.’

Laufey then stood up to his full height and turned towards Thor and the others.

“Thank you, Asgardians, for taking care of Loptr. If the son of my enemy can welcome my son as a friend, maybe someday there will be a chance for peace between our peoples. Please, allow us to welcome you into our home as guests and friends.”

When no one else spoke, Thor knew he had to be the diplomat of the group. He was nervous as Hel.

“We thank you, Laufey-King, for your kind words. And we will accept your offer of hospitality.” He tried to think of something that Loki would say, and he felt he did a pretty decent job.

“Very good. My sons and I will show you to your rooms.”

~*~

Laufey, Helblindi and Byleistr created a sort of protective circle around Loki, while Thor and the others walked a few feet behind them. Loki still felt like there were small butterflies fluttering around in his body. Ever since they began this journey to find his lost memories, they never stayed in one place for very long. He was trembling with excitement about the fact that he would be able to talk with his family tomorrow for as long as he wanted.

“Loptr was the name I gave you the day of your birth. It means ‘light,’ and I gave you that name for your bright eyes. What name do they call you now?”

“Loki. I’m not sure what it means.”

“What name would you like us to call you?” This question surprised him.

“Well, Loki is the only name I have ever known.” He hesitated a moment before he continued speaking. “But you have only ever known me as Loptr. All these years, you have been grasping onto hope that I was still out there somewhere. I would be honored to be called by the name that I was meant to have.”

“Wow, Little Brother! Who taught you to speak so eloquently?” Byleistr asked. Loki merely shrugged.

“I couldn’t tell you.”

Laufey looked down at Loki again, and for awhile he had been somewhat distracted by the revealing of his son’s identity. Now, his mind was not as clouded, and he noticed the faint coating of dust on the boy’s clothing and skin. If Loptr had known about who he was and who his father was, he would have at least cleaned himself up first. The only reasoning behind Loptr’s current state was that their coming to Jotunheim was completely by accident.

Laufey bellowed something in his native language, causing Loki to nearly jump out of his skin. A moment later, several servants appeared and bowed before their King. He spoke to them again, and then they all scattered and entered various doorways lining either side of the corridor. Laufey turned around and faced Loki’s companions.

“I have asked the servants to draw baths so you all may freshen up a bit before bed. You may choose any of these rooms to use for the duration of your stay.” Thor bowed his head slightly, and the others followed his lead. Laufey then turned his attention back to Loki. “Sleep well, my son. We have much to discuss tomorrow.” He placed a large hand on the top of Loki’s head, and immediately the markings on his forehead began to appear. After letting it linger there for a few seconds, he removed it and went further down the hall.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Little Brother,” Helblindi said, then he and Byleistr followed Laufey, presumably to their own rooms. 

Loki thought both of his brothers reminded him a little bit of Thor. Helblindi had Thor’s strength, and Byleister had more of Thor’s immaturity. Loki turned around to tell his friends good night, and he saw that Sif and the Warriors Three were already deciding amongst themselves which room to take. Thor remained frozen in place, and he was staring down at the floor with a haunted expression on his face. It looked, from Loki’s point of view, that a part of Thor had died. Perhaps it was the man Thor had always believed to be his brother who had died. Loki decided against saying anything and found the nearest empty room before closing the door behind him.

Loki took in the appearance of the room, and he found it to be pretty empty. Even though it was a very large room, there were few pieces of furniture. There was a small wooden table with two chairs by the window, a giant wardrobe made of similar material against the same wall. In the middle of the floor there was a large fur-skinned rug, the animal it came from Loki couldn’t guess. A king-sized bed covered with thick blankets and furs was a couple feet from the bathroom door, where candlelight was flickering and Loki could feel the heat from the bath.

A moment later, the servant came out of the bathroom, bowed to Loki, then briskly exited through the door and left him alone. Loki walked over to the bed and placed his bag on the floor, then he sat at the foot of the mattress and began taking his boots off. Directly across from the bed, in the center of a completely blank wall, there was a hearth with an eerie blue flame. There was heat coming out of it, and Loki wondered if the fire was enchanted so it would bring warmth into the room, but not cause the walls of ice to melt.

After removing the rest of his clothing and placing them into a neat pile, Loki got off the bed and made his way towards the bathroom. He paused for a moment and curled his toes in the soft rug. Then he kept going and ended up scurrying into the bathroom because of the cold floor under his bare feet.

The bathroom was just as simple, but much more beautiful to look at. Everything from the tub to the vanity was made of transparent material, and Loki couldn’t tell if it was glass or clear ice. Icicles hung from the ceiling, and they seemed to change color every time Loki moved. Underneath the tub was a pit of burning coals that glowed a pale blue. Again, there was heat and even steam, but nothing seemed to be melting. Loki would be sure to ask Laufey about it tomorrow.

Loki walked up the small staircase leading up to the bath tub and sat on the ledge. There was a thin rug placed on the steps so the person using it wouldn’t slip and fall. He dipped his fingers in to test the temperature, and then he slowly eased himself into the water.

There was a box full of glass bottles containing various soaps, lotions, oils and ointments. Each one had a different scent, as Loki found out, and after choosing his favorites, he washed the dirt of Svartalfheim off his body. Once he was completely clean, he stayed in the water for a while and his eyes fluttered. He sat up straighter to keep himself awake, and he grimaced at a dull throbbing in his chest.

Thor had promised he wouldn’t look at Loki any differently, but the lost expression on his face was enough proof Loki needed to know that he couldn’t follow through. Loki knew it must have been hard for Thor to witness his transformation and to learn that Loki was not really his brother. But the loss of trust hurt him. Then Loki remembered how he felt when Thor told him he was part of the reason why he had no memories. Loki felt betrayed by someone who he thought he could trust. Maybe Thor just needed more time to adjust to this new information. Loki still wasn’t completely ready to forgive Thor for what he did to him.

Loki relaxed a little more in the water, and he allowed his eyes to close. He told himself he would only stay in for a little while longer, and then he would go to bed. But the hot water was loosening his limbs, and it was so soothing. He thought he heard a noise, so he remained completely still and listened for it again. When he heard nothing else, he released a sigh and tilted his head slightly to one side. His brow furrowed when he felt something brush against the side of his neck, and then he heard a sound again. Someone was breathing in his ear.

Loki sat up suddenly and almost caused some of the water to splash out of the tub. He looked around, but no one was in there with him. Even though he was still submerged in the hot water, there were chills running down his spine. He reached down and undid the plug, and then the water poured through a hole and doused the coals underneath. He climbed out of the tub and dried himself off with a fluffy white towel.

He crept to the doorway and peaked out, scanning the room. It was just as he’d left it. Maybe his tired mind was playing tricks on him.

When he entered the bedroom, he saw that the servant had come in and taken his dirty clothes. That could have been the first noise he heard, but the breathing was still a mystery.

After setting the towel down, he walked over to the bed and crawled under the blankets. He was much too tired to put any clothes on, and he reasoned no one would come in without his permission. Breathing another sigh, he closed his eyes and fell fast asleep, the shadows from the blue fire dancing across his eyelids.


	16. Jotunheim - Fifty Shades Of No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, the beginning of the chapter will be important later. I didn't just randomly put a Loki sex dream in this story for no reason. And sorry if the title is lame, but I sat here for like 10 minutes trying to think of something and my brain was just like "BIG FAT NOOOOOOOOO!"

_It was dark, as all of Loki’s dreams seemed to be. He was wandering the corridors of some sort of castle. None of the torches lining the walls were lit, so it was nearly pitch black. Loki was unsure of where he was heading, but because he looked over his shoulder every few seconds, he assumed he must have been trying to avoid someone. But who?_

_He went around another corner, and then he stopped abruptly when he realized it was a dead end. It was a small, empty hallway, with only a single tapestry hanging on the wall to his right. It was too dark to see what was embroidered on it._

_Loki turned in a full circle, confused as to where he should go next. From what he could tell, the only direction he could go was the way he had just come. He approached the wall and patted along the surface with his hands, trying to feel for the outline of some kind of hidden doorway. He started on the left side and went around, finding nothing. Loki came to the right-side wall, and he stopped next to the tapestry. He was about to touch it with his fingertips, when the fabric moved._

_A hand darted out and grabbed him by the arm. He was about to let out a cry when he was pulled behind the tapestry, but another hand closed over his mouth. The hand on his mouth remained where it was, and as he tried to get his breathing under control, Loki’s eyes moved around to see if he could make out where he was. And who was with him._

_“Why are you running from me?” A voice whispered in his ear. Loki found himself shuddering when he felt hot breath against the side of his neck. Just like what he experienced in the bathroom at Laufey’s palace. “You have no reason to hide from me.”_

_All Loki could tell was that it was a man speaking to him. They seemed to be taking precautions, so as not to reveal their identity. The thing that gave them away was their scent. It was much too masculine for a woman; even Sif. But for some reason, the scent was familiar, and Loki couldn’t figure out why._

_“If I remove my hand, do you promise not to make a sound?” They whispered again. Loki nodded. Their scent still filled his nostrils when the hand pulled away, as if it was all around them. Loki tried to think of a way to get them to keep talking._

_“I’m sorry for running,” he said with a timid voice. “I hope you are not angry with me.”_

_Rather than answering him verbally, a pair of lips covered his own. The other man had facial hair. A neatly trimmed mustache and beard lightly scraped Loki’s fair skin. They continued to kiss each other, and Loki gasped into the other man’s mouth when a large thigh settled between his legs. At last they pulled apart, and Loki tried to catch his breath._

_“I could never be angry with you. My bonded.” The last part was whispered against Loki’s neck, followed by nibbling teeth._

_While the other man kissed and sucked on his throat, Loki’s hands stroked up the man’s large arms, trying to find some sort of clue. One of his hands went to the back of the stranger’s head, and his fingers tangled in his hair. Loki was nearly crushed as the larger body pressed him against the wall, but for some reason he was not afraid. Even though he had no idea where he was or who was with him, Loki felt as if he was exactly where he should be._

_The other man kissed Loki’s mouth again and forced his tongue past his lips. Loki brought his hand down, through a few tangles. At last, he reached the very tip. The man’s hair was long and straight. Longer than anyone he knew now. So this person must be someone he has never met before. But what about the scent?_

_The man pulled away, and his hot breaths warmed Loki’s skin. Loki reached up and cupped the man’s face with both hands, inching closer until their noses touched._

_“Who are you?” Loki asked, trying to make out any facial features. But it was too dark._

_“You will meet me,” the man whispered breathlessly against Loki’s mouth. “Soon.”_

~*~

Loki shot up in bed, and his heart was racing. Just as the last remnants of his dream began to fade from memory, Loki recalled the very last moment. The man must have let down his guard, because his voice cracked. He had a deep voice, as if a thunderstorm dwelled within him. But it almost sounded sad; sad that they would have to depart from each other for a while.

Loki had been so focused on his dream, that when he finally looked down at himself, he had to stifle his shout of surprise. He was drenched in sweat, and he seemed to have forgotten that he went to bed naked. He made an effort to ignore the erection between his legs.

He got out of bed, and he saw the outfit he’d worn the day before folded neatly on top of his pack. Loki grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. On the counter were a few hand towels and a basin of water, and when he dipped his fingers in, he felt that it was still fairly warm. The servant must have brought it in only an hour ago, along with his newly cleaned clothes. Loki felt his face heat up. Had the servant seen him while he was dreaming?

Loki set his clothes down and splashed water on his face. He then spread it on the rest of his body, to try and wash away some of the sweat. After drying himself, he put on his clothes, then combed his fingers through his hair. As he did that, Loki remembered what it felt like when he ran his fingers through the stranger’s long tresses. His eyes traveled up and stared at his reflection.

“Who are you?” Loki couldn’t figure out if he was asking the man from his dream, or if he was questioning himself.

Loki left the bathroom, and then he went over to the single window. He couldn’t tell what time it was, because it was still dark. The only way he knew it was daytime was because of an orb of light peeking over the horizon. It was too bright to be the moon. If he had to guess, he would say it was around dawn.

He crossed the room and opened the door. He entered the corridor and looked both directions. There was no one else around, so he went the way they had all come the night before. He came to a set of hallways, and he didn’t know which way to go. He then heard footsteps coming up behind him.

“My prince, are you headed to breakfast?” The servant from last night greeted him.

“Yes. I don’t really know my way around here.”

“That is why I am here. I will take you there.”

“Thank you.” They walked for a while in silence, and then Loki spoke again. “Are my friends already there?”

“Yes, my prince. But they have not been there but a few minutes.”

“Oh.” Loki looked to his left and gazed out the windows. “Is it always so dark here?” The servant seemed to hesitate before answering.

“It was not always this way. When the All-Father took the Casket of Ancient Winters, and you, back to Asgard, all of the light seemed to go out of the realm.” Loki’s heart leapt into his throat. He hoped he was not part of the reason why Jotunheim was trapped in an eternal darkness. “I hope I am not being too bold for saying this, my prince. The servants have talked, and we think that since you have returned, that you can… save us.” 

The servant fell silent then. Loki didn’t know what to say. He had only just gotten here, and now he was some sort of savior? He didn’t want to get their hopes up for nothing, but he didn’t want to lie to them.

“I will do what I can.” That was all he could offer.

“We are here, my prince.” The servant led him to a pair of double doors, but they were ordinary compared to the doors of the throne room. “Enjoy your meal.”

“Thank you.”

The servant turned and left Loki standing alone in the hall. He pushed one of the doors open, and the rumble of voices met his ears. He tried to ignore all of the eyes following him, and he kept his gaze on his father, who stood up at the head of the table. The ground seemed to shake as all of the Frost Giants rose with their King, and Loki’s companions did the same after a moment. They didn’t want to cause a diplomatic incident.

“Good morning, Loptr. Did you sleep well?” Laufey’s booming voice filled the room.

“Yes, Father. Thank you.”

“Come sit next to me, my son.” Laufey pulled the chair out beside him, and as Loki climbed onto it, the King sat down. All of the Frost Giants sat back down, again followed shortly by Thor and the others. “Eat, my son. You will need your strength for tomorrow.”

“Why? What is tomorrow?”

“Well, even though it is long overdue, we still have yet to hold your coming of age ceremony.” When he said that, the other Frost Giants bellowed and cheered. Byleister, who sat on Laufey’s right, next to Helblindi, roared the loudest. Laufey then turned his attention to the Asgardians. “I have a very important task for you all, if you are willing to accept.”

“How can we help?” Thor asked, though his voice sounded strange. It was then Loki noticed the bags under Thor’s eyes. He looked as if he didn’t get any sleep the night before.

“In order for the ceremony to be a success, we will need someone to go out and pick blue roses.”

“Forgive me, but I thought those were only legend.” Laufey raised a hand when some of the Frost Giants chuckled amongst themselves. The room fell silent again, and a smile crept onto his face.

“They only grow in one place: Jotunheim. And they are vital to the ceremony, because blue roses represent the longevity of the line of Kings.” There was pride in his voice as he spoke. “Are you up to the task?”

“We are.” Loki slightly wilted. Thor looked so tired.

“Very good. My sons, Helblindi and Byleistr, will go with you.” Thor’s eyes flickered over to the two Jotuns next to Laufey, and he nodded at them. “As for you, Loptr. We have much to talk about.”

Loki looked up at his father and smiled at him. As soon as Laufey broke the connection, Loki’s smile faded. How would Laufey react when Loki told him about his memory loss?

Loki took a few bites from the food on his plate, but he found that he really wasn’t very hungry. He had expected there to be a lot of foreign foods, but it was mostly meats. That was understandable, because of Jotunheim’s climate. But if roses could grow here, maybe there were other plants that could survive.

~*~

About half an hour had passed since Loki arrived, and when Laufey saw that he was finished eating, he rose from his seat. He spoke in his native tongue, and all of the giants, except Loki’s brothers, stepped away from the table and left the dining room.

“You had best get started now, before the weather becomes too unbearable for you,” Laufey said to Thor and the others. When he saw how groggy the other man was, Loki almost called out to him. The hand on his shoulder made him fall silent. “Are you ready to go, Loptr?”

“Yes, Father,” Loki answered as soon as Thor vanished from view. There was a slight pressure, and Loki stepped away from the table. When they left the dining room, nearly a dozen servants walked past them and went in to clean up after breakfast.

“I hope I did not cause any nervousness when I announced the ceremony.”

“I think it will pass.”

“Do they have anything like it in Asgard, when a prince comes of age?” Loki froze in place, not really meaning to. “What is wrong, my son?”

“I… I don’t know the answer to your question.” Laufey waited for him to continue. “I have a confession to make.”

“Go on.”

“Well, I did not come here to reveal that I was still alive. We came here by chance.”

“I thought as much.” Loki looked up at him with a shocked expression. “When I saw the dirt on your clothes, I knew your arrival was not planned. What brought you here?”

“We were looking for something.”

“And what were you looking for?” Laufey asked patiently.

“A feather.” This seemed to catch the King off guard.

“What kind of feather?”

“I should probably start from the beginning.” Laufey was silent again. “I have no memories of who I am.”


	17. Jotunheim - The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! I accidentally double-chaptered again!
> 
> And Loki's robes are somewhat based on this:
> 
> http://static.zerochan.net/Tsubasa%3A.RESERVoir.CHRoNiCLE.full.750353.jpg

Laufey watched him for a moment. His face was so composed, that it was almost impossible for Loki to tell what he was thinking. After a while, the silence became uncomfortable, and Loki’s eyes looked everywhere but at his father.

“How did this happen?” Laufey finally asked.

“Well…” Loki hesitated, because he wasn’t sure he knew the whole story, himself. “From what Thor told me, we were in Alfheim. I separated from the others, and I went into a cave when it started raining. I went further into the cave, and there was a ruined city. Thor said when he found me, there were strange glowing wings on my back, and I was being pulled into a wall.

“He grabbed me, and we fell to the ground. Then the wings seemed to… explode, I guess. And hundreds of glowing feathers rose through the ceiling and disappeared. I found out later that the feathers represented an individual memory. We are traveling to other realms to find them.”

Laufey was silent, and his face was grave. He was about to take off down the hall, but then he seemed to remember Loki was there.

“Come with me. I want to show you something.”

They went further down the hall, turned a corner, then descended a long staircase to a lower level. Laufey pushed open a set of double doors, and Loki’s eyes widened in awe. Rows upon rows of shelves lined the room. There had to have been thousands of tome and books and scrolls. Loki waited as Laufey scanned one grouping of books, and then he seemed to have found the one he was searching for. He flipped through the pages, stopped, then turned back to Loki. Laufey set the book down on a nearby table and pushed it towards him.

“Is this what the wings looked like?”

Loki stepped closer, and his hands went to his mouth to stifle a scream. It looked like the picture he had drawn for Queen Frigga; the bird with no body. When he was sure no embarrassing sounds would come out, Loki lowered his hands.

“What is this, Father?” He asked with a shudder.

“This is the symbol used for an ancient class of powerful sorcerers. Their origins stretch all the way back to Ymir.”

“Sorcerers? Were they only Frost Giants, or other races as well?”

“They came from every realm in Yggdrasil. Back then, magic was not looked upon as a weakness. Not like it is today.”

“Oh.” Loki stared at the image again. “What do the wings mean?”

“The sorcerers were able to fly. They could manifest their power into physical form, creating wings.”

“Oh,” he mumbled again. “Are there any of these sorcerers left?”

“I do not know the answer to that. Many years ago, it became a sort of taboo to identify as a sorcerer. People were killed for using magic, so most of the sorcerers went into hiding. Some even faked their own deaths so no one would hunt them down.”

“How awful. Who started this?”

“Odin All-Father,” Laufey growled. Loki felt a chill come over him. He saw in Tom’s movie that he could perform magic, and had done so many times. If so, why did Odin not have him killed, especially because of where he came from? “Do not worry, Loptr. Odin only called for the killings of sorcerers if they were using their magic for evil purposes. The Healers of Asgard use magic, so I have heard.”

“Oh. Yes, I suppose they do.”

“Had you only seen that symbol the one time?” Laufey asked as he turned and placed the book back on the shelf.

“No. There was one other time. It wasn’t that long ago, but we were in Alfheim again; this time as guests in Freyr’s house. He had found a feather in his orchard, and it was causing the trees to rot. Freyja experienced something similar in Vanaheim, and she told her brother to be on the lookout for anything strange.

“Well, that night I had a disturbing dream. When Thor and Freyr came in, they told me later that I was muttering in my sleep, and I was speaking in an ancient Elvish dialect. A translator who was familiar with the language came in and told us that I kept saying, ‘When the Last is sacrificed, the First will return.’

“And in my dream, I could hear a voice. It scared me.” He was silent for a moment, before he had the courage to speak again. “I think it means when I die, Ymir will come back to life. I have a bad feeling that I am the last of his bloodline, because I know the voice in my head was Ymir’s.”

“This is ill news, indeed,” Laufey said, appearing to be deep in thought. “What you say about being of Ymir’s bloodline is true; a fact that can be proven. I have known of it since your birth.”

“I almost wish it wasn’t true.”

“Your people have been awaiting your return for a very long time. I do not feel it is necessary to reveal this to them immediately.”

“I agree. I suppose.”

Loki had been staring at the ground, but when a large hand settled on his shoulder, he lifted his head. Laufey was kneeling before him, and their faces were almost on equal level with each other. Even though he barely knew him, Loki felt comforted by the gesture.

“Loptr, do not be afraid. You are safe here, and there are many people who love you.” Loki nodded silently, and he chewed on his lip to keep from crying again. He had been doing that a lot lately. “How long will you all be staying here?”

“Probably a couple more days. I have only recovered seven memories, and there are many more that must be found. Before they cause irreversible damage.”

“I understand. If we can be of any help to you—”

“No. I mean…” Loki hadn’t meant to interrupt his father, and now the man probably thought he had no manners. “Just meeting you and my brothers is enough. And when this is all over, I will definitely come back here for a much longer stay.” This brought a smile to Laufey’s face.

“Alright. Whatever you want.” Just as Laufey rose from the ground, Loki suddenly recalled the dream he’d had the night before. He had no intentions of talking about it, especially with his father, but there was something about it that troubled him.

“Father?”

“Yes, Starlight?”

“This is unrelated to what we were discussing before, but…”

“Ask me anything.”

“What does it mean to be bonded to someone?” Laufey rounded on him, and he was frowning again.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I heard the word somewhere, and I wasn’t sure what it meant.” Technically speaking, he wasn’t lying. His father seemed to relax then.

“Well, if that is all,” he began, and he started walking back to the corridor. Loki followed him and waited for his answer. “When two people are bonded together, they become one entity. They are connected in mind, body, soul, and heart. They can feel what the other is feeling and hear each other’s thoughts. Once they are bonded, there is no way to reverse it.” Laufey paused for a moment. “But there are risks. If one of them falls ill, the other will become affected as well. And if one is killed, the other, too, will die. They cannot live without each other. They can sense when the other is in danger, and would even kill anyone who seems threatening. Relationships with others become tainted, because the two bonded people only think about each other. Everyone else in their lives become of little import.”

“Oh. I guess I will need to avoid that business.”

“Yes, that would be wise.”

As they continued down the corridor, Loki looked out the windows. It was still as dark outside as it was when he woke up earlier in the morning. This constant sameness would probably drive him crazy. He wanted to help his family if he could, but he didn’t know how. If Tom’s movie was accurate in any way, the last time the Casket of Ancient Winters was seen was when it was used against Heimdall. Then movie Loki hid it away somewhere. Did the character still possess it, or was it still sitting in the Weapons Vault?

“Where are we going now?” Loki asked.

“We are going to find your ceremonial robes and see if they fit you. They ought to, but if any alterations are needed, they shouldn’t take very long to complete.”

"Do I have to do anything? Make a speech or…?”

“Only if you want to. I usually do all of the talking, and a lot of our people do not know the All-Tongue that you use. Or rather, they refused to try, because it is associated with the man who took the Casket from us. And because you were not raised here, you have not learned our language.”

“I’ll let you do the talking, then.”

“There is nothing to be nervous about. The ceremony is a fairly menial affair. It’s not nearly as extravagant and complicated as Asgard’s, I assume.”

“Well, they do seem like an extravagant and complicated people.” This brought a chuckle out of Laufey, and Loki could feel the rumble in his chest. It was soothing, like a small flame.

They came into another room, and it was lit only by a few blue-flame torches. It looked like a museum or gallery, because the walls were lined with elegantly-dressed statues. Most of the statues were as big as Laufey, if not larger. As they went further down the aisle, the more detailed and intricate the outfits became. When Laufey suddenly stopped a few paces from the end, Loki nearly crashed into his leg.

“Are you familiar with the Jotun Mimir?” Loki shook his head. “He was not of royal blood, but he was one of the bravest and wisest of our kind. He lived during the Aesir-Vanir War, and he acted as a delegate of peace. But Odin was greedy, and he wanted Mimir’s counsel only for himself. When Mimir refused to take sides, Odin…” 

He trailed off, and Loki looked up. Laufey’s face was twisted almost in pain, as if speaking of this hurt him. With slight hesitation, he lifted his arm and wrapped his fingers around Laufey’s large hand. He barely registered the skin changing color. Laufey squeezed his hand, then took a breath before speaking again. 

“When Mimir insisted on remaining neutral, Odin had him beheaded.” Loki gasped. “This did not end his life, however. While the body became limp, the head still survived. Some versions of the story say the Vanir took the body and preserved it in a shrine, but that is not how it came to be. After burning the body, Odin returned to Asgard with Mimir’s severed head. To this day, he still has it hidden away somewhere… eager for wisdom and knowledge.”

Loki felt like he was going to be sick. Odin had taken him from his family and raised him in Asgard all these years. But why? If he was capable of such acts that were committed against Mimir, what else was he capable of? How far was he willing to go to get what he wanted?

Laufey started walking again, and Loki felt himself being pulled along. They passed a few more statues, then stopped in front of one that was the exact same height as Laufey. When Loki looked closer at it, he thought the face was very similar to Laufey’s.

“This was my robe.” Loki looked at the face again, and he realized it must have been created in the likeness of Laufey’s younger self. “You are probably wondering why the robes look like they would fit me all these years later.”

“Yes.”

“The reason for that is because when a Frost Giant comes of age, they stop growing. That is why I knew your robes would fit you.”

“So I am going to remain this size for the rest of my life?” He sounded a bit disappointed.

“Think about it this way: you will never again outgrow your clothes.” Loki pondered it for a moment, and then he nodded. “Your brothers are next.”

“Is my mother here, too?”

“I am your mother.” Loki looked up at him with a confused expression. “Female Frost Giants have always been few in number, and none have been born since the Casket was stolen.”

“So… males can have children?”

“That must seem strange to you, considering where you grew up. But here, it is a fairly common occurrence.”

“So how exactly is it done?”

“When a Frost Giant is ready to bear children, their mind speaks to the body and tells it to change. Sometimes both members of a couple will act in each role. I always did it, because I wanted to. I am too old for that now, and…” He had that pained look on his face again. “My partner is gone.” 

Laufey turned to his right, and Loki’s gaze followed. Next to his statue was another, nearly half a foot taller. Laufey raised his other hand and placed it on the side of the statue’s face.

“What was his name?” Loki asked.

“Farbauti. And he was the love of my life.” He kept his hand where it was, and Loki waited for him to continue. “He was killed the night you disappeared. While I was taking you to the Temple, he was holding back the enemy, to keep them from following us.”

Loki then recalled the memory he had found in Svartalfheim. Laufey had been speaking to someone, and Loki had just assumed it was a servant or a guard. He looked up at the statue’s face.

‘Thank you for keeping us safe.’

Laufey lowered his hand and absentmindedly smoothed out the material of Farbauti’s robes. He then moved to the left, taking Loki with him. They stopped in front of a statue that was much smaller than the others. It was the same height as Loki, but instead of a head there was a large orb.

“We didn’t know what you looked like, so the sculptor was unable to finish your head. Maybe I can track him down and he can take a moment to study you before you have to leave.”

“But wouldn’t that take several days?”

“Oh no. The reason he has been in the royal family’s service for so long is because he never forgets a face.”

“Oh. Well, alright then.”

“I will see if he has time to meet with you after we are done here, since the others will not return until later.” Loki thought about Thor and how tired he’d looked. He hoped he would be alright. “Well? What do you think of your ceremonial robes?”

Loki had been so distracted by the statue’s enormous head that he’d paid no notice to the clothes it was wearing. It almost looked like a gown, and it was pure white. It seemed to have a light of its own. The statue’s left arm, shoulder, and some of the chest were bare. The right sleeve was clasped at the wrist and shoulder, while slits extended up the arm on both sides. A part of the sleeve was connected to a ring worn on the statue’s middle finger. Around the neck was a strange piece of jewelry. It was silver with small sapphires scattered throughout. The necklace was jagged and looked like cracks in the stone. It wrapped around the throat and extended downwards all the way to the diagonal lining of the robe. On the statue's left arm, below the elbow, was a gauntlet made of the same silver material as the necklace. Loki hadn’t said anything, and Laufey was watching his face to gauge his reaction.

“They’re beautiful. But…”

“What is wrong?”

“Well, there is not much there. Will this be warm enough?”

“Of course. Your body was made for our cold climate.”

“Okay. I did notice when we first arrived that I wasn’t affected by the weather like my friends were.”

“Now all we need to wait for is your friends to return with the blue roses.”

“What do I do with them?”

“You will carry a bundle in your arms when you walk out onto the balcony. The rest will have their petals plucked and placed into a bowl. First, I will grab a handful and release them over the balcony, and they will fall over the people. Then Helblindi will take some, because he is the eldest. Then Byleistr, and finally you.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“There is nothing to be nervous about. And as I said before, our customs are probably a lot more simple compared to Asgard’s.”

“You are probably right.”

“Shall we go find the sculptor?”

“Yes. I don’t think I can bear to look at my gigantic head for much longer.”

Laufey chuckled again, and they turned around and started walking towards the door. When they were getting close to the end, Loki watched the statues on his right. The very last one was the biggest of them all. He had to crane his neck to see it. Long hair tumbled in waves past the statue’s shoulders, and a slender, hooked nose protruded out of the man’s face. Unlike the other statues, which had pupils and irises carved into the eyes, this one had only the outer eye.

“Who is this?” Laufey stopped in front of the statue, and even he had to look straight up.

“Ymir. The first of our kind.” Loki felt that shiver again. Ymir almost looked like him, only taller and their noses were different. And Ymir was much angrier, full of rage.

“Why are his eyes unfinished?”

“They are not unfinished. Ymir’s eyes were completely white.”

“Oh. I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”

“He was the only one. All of the other Frost Giants have had red eyes. I suppose he wanted to set himself apart.”

They continued past the statue and went through the doors. They remained on that lower level and continued down the hallway. Loki wondered to himself just how massive the palace was. How many different levels did it contain? Laufey stopped them in front of a door at the very end of the hallway. He shouted something in the Jotun language, and another voice answered from within.

The door opened a moment later, and a very old Frost Giant appeared. He reminded Loki of the old Elf he had seen in Alfheim. The giant asked Laufey a question, probably regarding the reason for his visit and if he could serve him in any way. Laufey replied, and Loki was able to pick out his given name. Then the old man’s crinkled eyes widened and a smile brightened his face. He then turned to Loki and placed his large hands on his shoulders. He was chattering away, and then the hands moved up to cup his face. Loki looked around awkwardly as the giant stared at him intently. Laufey asked another question, and the old man finally tore his eyes away from Loki’s face. He said something again, held up one finger, then disappeared back into his quarters.

“What just happened?” Loki asked, somewhat bewildered.

“The short version? He is beyond thrilled to finally meet you, and he wants you to be the best work he has ever created.”

“Oh. Well, okay then.” While they waited out in the hall for him to re-emerge, Loki thought back to the room and all the Kings long past. “Did he make all of those statues?”

“Yes. He has been around for a very long time.”

“And he still can do all that work, despite how old he is?”

“Sculpting is all he lives for. He is constantly working on some project, whether it is repairing old works or creating new ones.”

“Does he have any family?”

“None that I am aware of.”

“That must be lonely.”

“He has not lived on his own for this long because nobody wanted him. He chose this lifestyle.”

“I don’t think I could do that.”

“It is not for everyone, and neither is the desire to always be surrounded by loved ones.”

Before Loki could respond, the door opened wide and the sculptor gestured for them to enter. He bowed to them as they walked past. Loki’s mouth fell open when he saw the man’s home. Scattered throughout the den were statues, all of them around Loki’s size, each with a different face. There were also paintings featuring various sceneries. A single person was the main focus of each piece, and the face was either blank or smudged, as if someone had brushed a hand across it while the paint was still wet. Loki’s breathing quickened, and he could feel his heart thudding in his chest.

“Father… are these all supposed to be me?” He asked in a whisper.

“I had meant to warn you about this, but I am afraid so. When he could not finish his final work, he became obsessed. The mystery of your image was constantly on his mind.”

“I don’t even want to think of what he would have done if I had been killed that night.”

“Neither do I.”

The sculptor brought them into another room, and for the most part it was empty. There were a few paintings leaning against the walls, but they were either turned around or covered by tarps. A large window took up much of the eastern wall, and a single chair was placed next to it. Loki was asked to sit in the chair, and when he did, he could see the sun shining to his right.

“This is the best way for him to be able to see you, since we cannot use regular flames here,” Laufey explained. “Is the sun bothering you?”

“No. It’s not too bright at all.”

The sculptor pulled up another chair, and he sat directly across from Loki, less than a foot apart. Loki watched him put a pad of paper in his lap, as well as a black object, shaped like a cylinder. When the other man looked at him, he tapped under his chin with two fingers and bent his head back slightly. Loki tilted his chin up, and then the giant said something.

“What did he say?” Loki asked, and he moved his eyes in the direction Laufey was.

“He wants you to keep your gaze aimed at the top of his head. Always look up, because that makes the best angle.”

“Okay.”

Loki stared at the top of the sculptor’s head, and a moment later he could hear scratching. The black object turned out to be a stick of charcoal, and the giant was using it to make a sketch. Several minutes went by, and the scribbling never ceased. Another few minutes passed, and then the chair scraped loudly against the floor, causing Loki to jump.

The sculptor moved to the left side of Loki, and then he began sketching his profile. He did the same for the back and right side, and Loki supposed that he really must have wanted to get every strand of hair correct. Nearly an hour later, the sculptor got up again, and he held the drawings out for Loki to see. Every shadow was there, every eyelash, even his cheekbones. All that was still missing were his Jotun markings. He saw that the charcoal had been shortened to less than two inches. The elderly man spoke to Laufey, and then his father stood next to him and placed a hand on his arm. A moment later, the sculptor nodded, and then he began adding the raised markings. It didn’t take nearly as long, and Loki was glad because his neck was beginning to ache.

“Is he finished?” Loki asked when the other man got out of his chair and went to another area of the room.

“Yes. Did you like his drawings?”

“Mm hmm. They were very well done,” Loki said, and he rubbed at his neck.

“Would you like to see more of the palace?” Loki nodded. “Alright. Mid-day meal should be ready in a couple of hours from now.”

“That sounds good.” 

Maybe Thor would be back by then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea of the room of statues from the crypts of Winterfell in the _Game of Thrones_ series. But instead of tombs it's a bunch of fancy clothes. And I was too lazy to come up with a name, so he will forever be known as "The sculptor." The end.
> 
> Thor and Co. will be in the next chapter.


	18. Jotunheim - My Life Is A Lie... And So Is The Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cake is a lie! Sorry, just had to bring that back.

After Laufey dismissed the warriors from the dining room, he turned his attention to his guests.

“You had best get started now, before the weather becomes too unbearable for you.”

That was enough for the Asgardians to know they were done. As the two young Frost Giants on Laufey’s right came down the steps, Thor and the others pushed away from the table and followed them. Thor had to try to stay on his feet, because he had barely slept the night before. Just the fact that Loki was not really his brother was enough to make him lose sleep. If his parents were keeping that a secret, what else were they hiding? Thor could feel Loki’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze.

‘I am sorry, Loki, but I do not think I will be able to keep my promise.’

After leaving the dining room, Helblindi and Byleistr took them back to their rooms so they could grab their fur cloaks and anything else they might need. Thor was the last one to reemerge. He was debating with himself about whether or not he should just stay here. His fatigue could slow them down, or he might accidentally fall asleep in the cold. He didn’t want to be a burden to his friends, but he also didn’t want to appear weak in front of the Frost Giants.

“I will rest after we return,” he told himself.

A moment later, Thor entered the hallway. Helblindi watched the Asgardians to see if either of them would suddenly remember something else they needed. When that didn’t seem to be the case, he smiled down at them.

“Are you all ready to go?” Nobody answered verbally. They either nodded silently or didn’t respond at all. Helblindi knew there had been tension between their realms for a very long time, but he hoped to alleviate some of that lack of trust. “Alright then.”

As they made their way to the front gate of the palace, Helblindi and Byleister would comment on a structure and what it was used for, or had formerly been used for. Every so often they would merely check to see if the Asgardians were still following them. Only a couple of times did they have to stop and wait for the Asgardians to catch up.

Two Frost Giants were posted at the front gate, and when they saw the two princes approaching, they hurried to open the doors. Just as they were about to walk through, one of the guards called to Helblindi. They spoke for a while, in the Jotun language. The Asgardians were curious as to what was being said because the guard seemed concerned about something. They saw Helblindi nod, and then he turned and looked down at them.

“I have been told that a snow storm is headed this way, and that it will be here later this evening. Time is growing short, and while my brother and I will be fine on our own, you all will need some assistance. This way.”

After going through the main gates, they went to the right. They walked for another minute, and then they suddenly stopped. Helblindi was standing in front of a gigantic cliff face. He placed his hands on it, and some of the ice began to crack. Sif let out a gasp when she saw something move in the rock. The others looked closer, and they could make out a large red eyeball.

More of the ice crumbled and fell away, and then the creature’s head was visible. Helblindi motioned for them all to step back. When the last of the ice broke off, the creature fell forward and landed on its feet. It shook its large head, as if to clear the sleep from its mind.

The creature was huge, and each of its toes was the size of a person. It was hairless, had a very large head, and sharp fangs. Its flesh was the same color as the Frost Giants. When the creature saw Thor and the others, it let out a snarl, and saliva flew from its mouth. Helblindi said something to the creature in the Jotun language, and it seemed to calm down. It suddenly tipped over and fell to the side, causing a big tremor in the earth.

At first it looked dead, but then it slowly rolled onto its back and waited. Helblindi shook his head and walked up to the creature. He started rubbing its belly and smacked it affectionately on the ribs. All of the Asgardians were wondering the same thing: is this the Frost Giant equivalent to a dog?

Helblindi spoke to it again, and a few seconds later it rolled onto its stomach. He then turned back towards Thor and the others.

“He will let you ride him now.”

“Will it… burn us?” Thor asked, trying not to offend him. Helblindi shook his head.

“Only if he thinks you are a threat, which he no longer does.” Helblindi kept his hand on the creature’s head. “Snow storms can be unpredictable here, so we need to be leaving soon. But before that, he needs to smell each of you. It builds trust between you and him.”

One by one, the Asgardians stood in front of the creature. It inhaled and exhaled deeply through its flat nose, and it blew hot breath through their hair. Thor went last, and when the creature was finished smelling him, it closed its eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep again.

“Alright, everybody climb on. And make sure you find something to grab onto, because he runs fast.”

They each climbed onto the creature’s back, and they found ridges and humps there. Hopefully they would be able to keep their grips strong. And they were all relieved when the creature’s cold flesh didn’t cause them any harm. Thor turned around and checked to make sure the others were settled, and then he looked down at Helblindi and nodded to him.

Helblindi patted the creature’s neck and spoke to it again. It let out a groan and slowly got up on its legs. He shouted and smacked its flank, and the creature roared before taking off. Thor thought about the times he had used Mjolnir to fly from one place to another. That seemed like a leisurely stroll compared to the creature’s speed.

Thor had to squint his eyes because the icy wind was making them water. His face was prickling from the cold, but he didn’t dare move his hand to adjust the fur cloak. He opened his eyes as wide as he could when he saw two dark shapes appear on either side of the creature. Helblindi and Byleistr were running past, and every once in a while they would turn and say something to each other. They seemed to be racing.

Thor had always thought Frost Giants were slow because they were so big. There were a lot of things he’d thought about the Frost Giants that turned out not to be true. How they were ruthless killers and would eat their prisoners alive. Or how they drank the blood of human virgins and made necklaces out of the teeth of people they killed. There were several others, and most of them he had heard from his father. Growing up, Thor had always wanted to be just like his father. He wasn’t so sure anymore.

The creature followed the two brothers to the top of a steep hill. They kept going for about another mile, and then Helblindi slowed down. Byleistr stayed at his current speed, and he didn't stop until he was nearly out of sight. He turned around when he realized he was alone and walked back towards his older brother, while Helblindi kept the creature calm and still as the Asgardians slid off its back.

"Does this mean I won?" Byleistr asked, not sounding tired at all.

"You ran past the spot. And since I was the first one to stop here, I won," Helblindi replied.

"But we never even agreed on a finishing point!"

"Yes, we did. This was as far as we needed to go, meaning this was the finishing point."

"You can't just change the rules when it suits you."

"Of course I can. I am the oldest, so I make the rules." Byleistr scoffed.

"Since when?!"

"Since always. Now, enough of this bickering. We need to find the roses before the storm catches up to us." Sif came up behind Thor and stood next to him.

"Who do they remind you of?" She asked him quietly.

Thor didn't answer her, but a chuckle rumbled in his chest. It did sound similar to the fights he and Loki would have when they were younger, and recently. They'd been arguing the day Loki lost his memories. Thor had a feeling that nothing would ever return to normal, like he'd hoped. Now that Loki had found his real family, would he choose to stay here with them, rather than go back to Asgard? The way he saw it, Loki had no reason to go back there. Thor, Odin and Frigga, Sif and the Warriors Three; they no longer were a part of his life. Helblindi's voice broke Thor out of his stupor.

"This is the tallest hill in Jotunheim. It is the closest to the sun, and because there are no cliffs or rocks here, the flowers are not obscured by shadow. There was a snow storm yesterday morning, not as big as the one coming tonight, but the roses will be buried in the snow."

"How often does it snow here?" Sif asked. She seemed to have gotten over her suspicion of them.

"Every day. Sometimes it is only a few small flakes; other times a tempest will blow through. We have learned to prepare for any situation," Helblindi answered. "Since you all will be using your bare hands, feel free to take a break from digging as often as you need to. Father would probably skin us alive if you ended up losing your hands to frostbite." They couldn't tell whether he was being serious or not.

While they each picked a spot to dig, the creature lumbered over to the very edge of the hill and flopped down with a loud huff. A cloud of steam blew out of its nose. Helblindi told them that only a few feet of snow had fallen, and while that seemed like almost nothing to him, it was a lot for Thor and the others. How much snow had to fall for a Frost Giant to consider it a large amount?

For nearly an hour they searched. Helblindi and Byleistr were a lot quicker, and after they found nothing in their spot, they would move to another area that hadn’t been disturbed. When the cold was too much, Thor and the others would stop and try to warm their hands, whether by blowing warm air or wrapping them in their fur cloaks.

At the beginning, Thor was wondering why Laufey would have wanted them to go along in the first place. But after seeing just how large this hill was, and with the snow storm creeping up on them, his sons would need all the help they could get. Plus, it was a way to keep his guests entertained while Laufey and Loki had a chance to talk.

Thor hadn’t been paying much attention to what he was doing, and then he suddenly sneezed. He wiped at his nose with his sleeve, and then his eyes widened. There was a dark object in the snow, and when he dug around it, a flower was revealed.

“I found one!” The others came up behind him to see.

“Good,” Helblindi said. “We need to dig around here, because the roses all grow in one big cluster.”

Another hour went by, and they stopped digging when all they came up with was more snow. Thor asked how to pick them, but Helblindi said he and his brother would do it, since the thorns don’t bother them. Helblindi took half of the roses in his arms, and Byleister took the others.

“Let’s go home, I’m starved,” Byleistr groaned.

“Little brother, name one time in your life where you starved.” Silence. “Just be grateful that we always have food to eat.” When his back was turned, Byleistr stuck a dark blue tongue out at him.

‘Yes,’ Thor mused. ‘The Frost Giants and the Aesir are alike in more ways than I can count. And just as Laufey said, I hope that someday soon both of our worlds will be at peace.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stupid ending is stupid. Jotunheim Beast/puppy I regret nothing! I dunno, I just thought about when they showed it at the end of Thor 2 chasing the birds on top of the building. 
> 
> Poor Thor needs a vacation.


	19. Jotunheim - I Kissed A Boy And I Liked It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I double-chaptered again. Whoops!

Laufey and Loki made their way back to the dining room. The servants were running back and forth, trying to hurry and finish setting up. Loki sat next to his father, in the same chair he used earlier that morning. A moment after he got comfortable, a servant came up and filled his goblet with wine.

Platters of food were brought out and set on the tables. Loki sipped at his wine, and he watched as the doors swung open. The warriors entered the room and bowed to Laufey before taking their seats. Loki was waiting for Thor to walk in with them, but he never came. They probably hadn’t returned yet.

The ground beneath him vibrated when Laufey pushed his chair back and he rose from the table. The warriors also stood up, and Loki did the same. Laufey spoke in the Jotun language, and the warriors responded. Laufey sat down again and started filling his plate. While Loki was deciding on what he wanted to eat, Laufey called a servant over to them.

“Helblindi and Byleistr have gone outside with the Asgardians to look for the roses. I do not know when they will return, but make sure they have something to eat when they do come home.” The servant bowed, then stepped away from the table.

“I hope they are alright,” Loki said quietly.

“Your friends are in good hands.” Laufey decided not to say anything about the approaching snow storm.

“How far away did they have to go?”

“Only a few miles. And they still have plenty of daylight left.” Loki nodded, then took a bite of food. “You still look worried about something. Is it about tomorrow?”

“No. I’m worried about Thor. When I saw him this morning, I could tell he didn’t get very much sleep. He looked so tired, and I just hope he is alright.” Laufey nodded.

“Your brothers will take care of him.” Laufey placed a hand on Loki’s back, and all of the worry and nervousness seemed to drain out of him. A few minutes went by, and there was still no word. Loki started getting worried again, and he knew that if he didn’t find something to keep him distracted, he might go crazy.

“Father, there is something else I was wondering about.”

“And what might that be?” Laufey asked after he had finished chewing his food.

“That blue fire. Is it real fire, or is it made by magic?”

“It is magic. A long time ago, a question came up about how we could keep warm in the winter months without causing our houses to melt. Even though Ymir used magic when he was alive, it was not a very well-known craft among our peoples. We asked the Vanir and the Light Elves for help, because they studied sorcery a lot more than we did.”

“Oh. So how does the magic work?”

“I am not quite certain of all the details, but part of it is a trick of the mind.”

“How?”

“Well, when you see fire, what do you normally think of?”

“Heat?” Loki answered hesitantly, not wanting to sound stupid in front of his father.

“Correct. You expect it to be warm. Because your mind automatically thinks of heat, the flames respond with heat.”

“If I understand you, those flames really have no warmth at all? It is only something we are imagining?”

“In a sense, yes. The Vanir taught us that, while the Light Elves showed us how to keep the fire from going out.”

“I don’t think I have ever heard of anything like that. But maybe I did when I still had my memories.” While Laufey continued eating, Loki stared down at his plate. “Why do some of the Frost Giants speak in your language some of the time, while other times they speak and I can understand them?”

“As I said before, many of our people refused to learn the All-Tongue, because Odin created it. The ones who did learn it did so because they would have to communicate with people of other realms. They speak the All-Tongue in front of you if they want you to hear the information, as well. If it is something that would not be of any interest to you, they use our language.”

“Oh. Well, if that is all…”

“If you thought they were trying to keep secrets from you, there is no reason to worry. Anything they tell me they can say in front of you. Remember, you are not in Asgard anymore.” Loki smiled and he seemed to be reassured.

~*~

Nearly an hour later, one of the guards walked in and he knelt in front of Laufey. The warriors at the lower tables spoke in hushed voices, because they wanted to hear what he had to say.

“My King, your sons and the Aesir have returned. They were successful.”

“Excellent news,” Laufey replied. “Send them here at once.” The guard bowed once more before he got up and left the room. “I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

“Yes, I suppose you did.”

Loki looked up when the same guard from before reappeared, followed by his brothers. They were both carrying bundles of blue flowers in their arms. They came up the steps, and Byleistr set his down on the table. Helblindi picked out one of the flowers and handed it to Loki before setting his bundle down.

“What do you think, little brother?” Loki took in the flower’s appearance. It was a medium shade of blue, like a clear lake. The petals were all transparent, and they looked to be made of glass or ice. The very edges of the petals were lined with silver, almost like frost.

“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Yes, Prince Thor? Did you have something to say?” Laufey spoke. Loki looked away from the flower and turned his attention towards the door. Thor was still standing there, just inside the dining room. He looked even more tired than when Loki last saw him, as if he was on his last legs.

“I do not mean to offend, but I wish to pass on luncheon. I did not sleep well last night and would like to rest.”

“I completely understand. Renew your strength, for it will be needed on your journey.” Laufey made a gesture, and the guard at the door bowed before turning to Thor.

“I will escort you back to your quarters,” he said, and Thor nodded in thanks. Loki watched him go, and worry filled his heart. Laufey’s reassuring hand was placed on his shoulder again, and it made him partially relax.

“Do not worry, my son. All he needs is rest.”

“But it is my fault he could not sleep last night,” Loki said sadly. “And what if he is not able to sleep now?”

“If a man is weary enough, it will not take long for sleep to find him.”

Loki wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that, but Laufey seemed to know what he was talking about. Laufey asked his two eldest sons how the journey went and if there were any problems. Helblindi said nothing was amiss, and the Asgardians had a little help getting to the hilltop. Loki didn’t understand, but Laufey must have gotten the hint. Byleistr then added that Thor was the one who found the roses in the snow.

“You are getting sloppy,” Laufey chided.

“Forgive us, Father, but it has been many years since we had need of them,” Helblindi said. “Not since Byleistr’s ceremony.”

“Yes. That was a long time ago.”

“You two are making it sound like I’m ancient,” Byleistr said with a scowl.

“You are still too young to be worrying about your age,” Laufey said dismissively.

Loki brought a hand up to his mouth to stifle his laughter. Byleistr rounded on him and stared at him with huge eyes.

“Oh, so you think that’s funny, Loptr?”

“Yes. I do, actually.”

“You’re just lucky Father is in the way.” Laufey slowly turned his head towards Byleistr and looked at him with a wry expression.

“Come again?” Rather than answering, Byleistr’s eyes widened comically, and then he proceeded to shove food into his mouth.

“I think I might go lie down, myself,” Loki said. “If that is alright.”

“You do not need my permission. Ask one of the servants in the corridor to take you back to your room.”

“I will see you all at supper.” Loki climbed down from his chair and walked out of the dining room. He approached the first servant he saw. “Would you show me how to get back to my room?” He just hoped the servant understood him.

“Of course, my prince. This way.”

They went through a few more hallways, and the route was gradually becoming more familiar to Loki. They reached the hall where the guest rooms were, and then a thought occurred to him.

“Which room is Prince Thor staying in? I just wanted to see how he was doing.”

“He is in this room here, my prince. Do you want me to wait for you out here, or can you find your room on your own?”

“I think I can find it on my own. Thank you for your help.” The servant bowed, then left to return to his other duties.

Loki knocked on the door and called Thor’s name to see if he was still awake. When he heard no response, he turned the knob and went inside. The layout of the room was similar to the room he was using. Loki crept towards the bed, and he could see Thor’s head poking out from the furs and blankets. Laufey had been right; it didn’t take very long for him to fall asleep.

Loki watched him sleep for a little longer, and Thor’s breathing was even. He was staring at Thor’s face, and then, as if he was in a trance, he leaned forward. Just before their noses touched, he faltered. His mind was screaming at him to turn around and don’t look back. His heart was telling him to keep going. Loki didn’t think he had the strength to pull away now.

He moved forward and pressed their lips together. His eyes had slid shut at first, but then he realized he needed to watch for any signs of Thor waking up. Loki’s heart stopped when Thor’s breathing deepened, but nothing else happened. What he didn’t realize was that Thor was already awake, and he was smelling him.

Thor couldn’t figure out the person’s identity from their scent alone. He was still so tired and didn’t want to open his eyes, but he wouldn’t get any sleep until this person stopped kissing him. When Thor’s eyelids began to flutter, Loki wrenched himself away and dashed out of the room.

He ran down the hallway to his room and slammed the door behind him. He pressed his ear to the surface and listened for any other sounds. When there was only silence, he turned and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. He covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

“Stupid. What were you thinking?” Loki suddenly felt very tired, and he got up and lied down on top of the covers. He fell asleep instantly.

~*~

_When Loki next opened his eyes, he had been transported somewhere else. It was night time, and he was standing on some sort of balcony. There were lights coming from the city below, and the glow seemed to have a warmth of its own. The weather was slightly cool, with very little breeze. It must have been the middle of the night, because there were no people walking around._

_Still staring ahead of him, he brushed his fingertips across the smooth surface of the railing. His brow furrowed when he felt an inconsistency. He moved his hand and looked down. There were strange symbols carved by hand into the stone. It was very small, only four characters total._

ᛚ ᛟ ᚲ ᛁ 

_It almost looked like his name. Was he in Asgard? Had he carved this when he was younger?_

_Loki let out a gasp and his heart started pounding when a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. There was hot breath on his shoulder, followed by lips against the side of his neck._

_“Come back to bed.” Loki’s first instinct was to obey, as if the soul bond was commanding him to do as he was told. But for some reason, he did not want to go back inside yet._

_“I cannot sleep. There are too many things troubling me.”_

_“Sleep was not what I had in mind.” Loki caught onto his meaning when a hand snaked under his night shirt and brushed against his skin. He tried to recoil from his touch, but he only pressed his back against the man’s chest. “Or I can ravish you right here, if you want,” the man said before mouthing at his neck and jawline._

_Loki’s legs turned to mush, and he realized the only thing keeping him up was the arm wrapped around him. The hand in his shirt moved lower and slid underneath his waistband. Loki started to panic, and he grabbed at the man’s wrist and tried to move it._

_“Wait,” Loki said, slightly out of breath. “What if someone sees us?”_

_“What difference does it make? They all know that you are mine, so let them see.” Loki shivered when the hand stroked up his inner thigh and moved towards his groin._

_“But I do not want them to see. I want to keep this between us.” Loki could almost feel the fingers hovering just above his member._

_“Then will you come back to bed?” Loki internally groaned. That was all the man wanted, and he fell for it._

_“Yes. I will do what you ask.” Loki allowed himself to be turned around and led towards the bed. The other man remained behind him with a hand on his back. When they reached the bed, there was a knock on the door. “Are you going to get that, or should I?”_

_“No one is there.” There was a knock again, and it was much louder this time._

_“What do you mean no one is there? How can you not hear that?” He couldn’t believe he was arguing with this dream person._

“Prince Loptr, are you feeling alright?”

_He was right, that voice was coming from somewhere else. It must have been outside the dream. Loki could feel his mind being pulled towards wakefulness, and the knocking became much clearer._

~*~ 

“Just a moment,” Loki said tiredly. He sat up and wiped some drool from his mouth. He stretched and cracked his back because he had slept on his stomach the entire time. He padded over to the door and yawned as he pulled it open. There was a servant standing in the hallway holding a plate covered with a lid. “Can I help you?” He asked and rubbed at his eyes.

“I brought your meal, as your father requested.” Loki seemed confused. “You slept through dinner, so—”

“I DID WHAT?!” The servant was so startled that he nearly dropped the plate. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. But why did nobody wake me?”

“Well, King Laufey said you were probably still tired from all of your travels, so he thought we should let you sleep.”

“Oh. Did Prince Thor come to dinner?”

“Yes, but he did not stay very long.”

“Okay. Thank you for bringing this,” Loki said as he took the plate from the servant.

“Of course. You can just leave everything out here when you are finished. Good night.” 

With a bow, the servant turned and walked down the hall. Loki closed the door and went over to the small table by the window. He removed the lid and stared at the contents for a long time. He felt terrible for sleeping so late, especially after he told his family he would be there. He must have not realized how tired he really was.

He took a couple bites, and his mind wandered back to the dream he was having. How much further would they have gone if Loki hadn’t been awakened? Everything had felt so real; every touch, every sound, every smell. That scent was bothering him. He knew it from somewhere, but he just couldn’t figure out where. Loki then remembered the man’s voice. He wasn’t whispering like in the first dream, but Loki had been so distracted by… other things… that he never tried to figure out who the voice belonged to.

“Damn it.” Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. “Next time.”

It took a while, but Loki slowly managed to eat all of his dinner. He set the dishes in the hallway then went back in his room. He didn’t feel like taking a bath, and he figured that he would have to take one before he got ready for the ceremony. Loki changed into the night clothes the Elves had given him, noticing similarities to the garments he wore in the dream. He climbed on the bed and eased beneath the furs. He closed his eyes and released a sigh. This time, his sleep was undisturbed by dreams.

~*~

The next morning he was awakened by another servant. He brought Loki’s breakfast, and Loki started to panic again.

“Did I sleep through breakfast, too?”

“No, my prince. Because today is your coming-of-age ceremony, you are not allowed to be seen by anyone except those who will help you get ready. An hour before the ceremony, you will be able to see your family and friends.” Loki’s face fell. He didn’t want to eat alone. “I am sorry, my prince, but it is tradition.”

“That’s alright. It is only for one day.”

Loki thanked the servant for bringing his meal, and when the man left he sat at the table as he did the previous night. He picked at his food for a while, not really in the mood to eat. But he forced it down, and an hour later, there was another knock.

“My prince, are you finished eating?” The voice spoke from the other side of the door. It sounded familiar to Loki, but he couldn’t place why.

“Yes. You can come in.” It took Loki a moment to figure out it was the servant who showed him the way to breakfast the first morning; the one who talked about him saving the people of Jotunheim. “Hello, again.”

“Good morning, Your Highness. Are you ready to get started?”

“Yes. What happens first?”

“First you need a bath.”

“Alright. In here, or…?”

“Oh no, my prince. We use the bath house for an occasion such as this.”

“Okay. I didn’t know there was a bath house. Do I need to bring anything?”

“No, everything is already there.”

“Oh. Well, show me the way.”

They left the room, and every so often the servant would look around corners. Loki’s family and the Asgardians were asked to try and stay away from the residential area, as well as where the bath house was. Laufey suggested they go outside and have a small tourney and friendly sparring matches. Just to keep them all occupied for a few hours, since there really was nothing else to do here.

“All of this keeping me hidden is making me feel like I’m getting married or something.”

“I am sorry you are not able to see your family, but it has been this way for a very long time.”

The servant went around the corner and Loki followed him. They walked down several flights of stairs, and as they got closer to the double doors at the end of the hallway, Loki could almost feel the heat coming from inside the room. He could see the blue flames flickering through the cracks at the bottom. They went through the double doors, and Loki couldn’t believe how big the room was.

“Is this bath house only used by the royal family when they come of age? This seems like a waste of a room.”

“No, it is also used when someone, whether they are a member of the royal family, a guard, or just an ordinary citizen of Jotunheim falls ill. These waters are believed to have healing properties,” the servant explained.

“Has it been proven to have healing properties?”

“Well, not through science, but those who leave here have always felt much better than when they arrived.”

‘So basically this is just an ordinary bath,’ Loki thought to himself.

There was a basket on the ledge filled with many different kinds of oils and lotions. A few white towels, a robe, and a pair of sandals were in a neat pile a few feet away.

“I will be standing just outside the door. Let me know when you are finished, my prince,” the servant said before leaving. Loki was relieved he would have some privacy.

He did mostly the same thing he had done in his room. After choosing a few scents he liked, he washed, then allowed himself to relax and soak for a little while. When he felt that he had been in the bath long enough, he climbed out, dried off and put on the robe and sandals. Both clothing items were a bit too large for him, but he made do.

He walked to the doors and tried to push them open, but they wouldn’t budge. They were a lot heavier than he’d originally thought.

“I’m ready to go.” He stepped back when the door opened slightly. He slipped through the space, and they went down the hallway.

“My task is finished. Gerd will be with you for the remainder of the morning.”

“Where are we going?”

“We are returning to your room. Your robes were delivered while we were in the bath house.”

“Oh. Alright.” Loki thought it would have been a lot easier to just bathe in his room, but the reply most likely would have been “It’s tradition.” “When is the ceremony?”

“It will begin at noon, when the sun is brightest and high in the sky.”

“So I can see my family and friends an hour before that?”

“Yes, my prince.” The rest of the time went by in silence, and before Loki knew it, they had arrived at their destination. "Here we are, my prince. Gerd will take care of you from this point forward."

"Thank you for all of your help."

"It was my pleasure. And if I may be so bold, on behalf of the other servants, we are all so glad to have you home at last." Loki smiled at him, and with a final bow, the servant turned and left him. He was already out of sight when Loki realized he never asked for the man's name.

"Maybe this 'Gerd' will know," Loki muttered before opening the door and entering the room. "Gerd, are you here?"

“Yes, my prince! I am in the washroom!” The voice was somewhat high-pitched. With curiosity, Loki walked further into the bedroom and stopped just inside the doorway. There were two stools, and sitting on one of them was a young Frost Giant, who looked to be around Byleistr’s age. They had thick arms and legs, but the hips and torso were curved. The face was slender and smooth. “Good morning, Your Highness.”

“You’re a woman,” Loki blurted out.

“Yes, I am.”

“Sorry, that did not come out right. But… my father said there were no female Frost Giants.”

“None have been born since the Casket was stolen. But I was born before the war. There are not very many giantesses left.”

“Oh. That makes more sense, I guess.” This was not going well. “So what do I need to do?”

“First, I will let you change into your ceremonial robes. Then, I will do the rest.” Gerd stood up from the stool and picked up a neatly folded garment and held it out to Loki. “I can turn around until you are ready.”

Gerd turned the other direction then sat down again with her back towards Loki. He kept his gaze on her, just in case she turned around early. He took off the bathrobe, then he quickly unfolded the white garment because of the chill. He slipped it over his head and flattened it to get rid of any wrinkles. It was simpler than he’d originally thought, but it was still elegant. Loki slid the ring on his right middle finger and adjusted the single sleeve on his shoulder.

“Alright. You can turn around now.” Gerd got up and turned to look at him. A bright smile lit up her face.

“Lovely. You look absolutely stunning, my prince.” She gestured to the other stool, and they both sat down. Gerd picked up a sack from the floor and rummaged through it. She pulled out a round jar and a slender brush. “I am going to do your lips first, since it will take a while for them to dry.”

“My lips?”

“Do not worry. It will look much better when your skin changes.”

“Okay.”

Gerd opened the jar, and inside Loki could see a black sort of cream or gel. She dipped the small brush then began spreading the material across his bottom lip. She did the same for the top.

“Press your lips together so it blends a little better. Like this.” He did as she asked and she nodded. “That way when it dries, it will not be as thick and caked-on.” The mirror was on the opposite wall of Gerd, so Loki couldn’t see anything. He didn’t know his lips were navy blue.

Gerd put those things away then took out another jar, but no brush. Inside this jar was silver powder that had been pressed down and flattened. She dabbed her pinky in the powder.

“All you need to do is keep your eyes closed.” He nodded and closed his eyes. Very gently, Gerd brushed the tip of her finger across his eyelids. A moment later she let out a gasp and pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” He didn’t dare open his eyes yet.

“Nothing is wrong, my prince. This is the first time I have seen your transformation. It’s fascinating.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at him, but he couldn’t see it. Gerd finished with his eyelids, and then she also dabbed some of the powder on his eyebrows and cheeks. She took out a brush and blended so there weren’t silver or gray blotches. Now there was a sort of shimmer to his skin. Gerd frowned and looked about the room, then she dug through her sack.

“Oh no.”

“What is it?” Loki asked somewhat nervously.

“I forgot your jewelry.” It wasn’t until that moment that Loki remembered the strangely-shaped necklace that was around the statue’s throat. “Please wait here while I go retrieve them. I am truly sorry.”

“Do not worry. We still have plenty of time, I think.” He felt it was safe to open his eyes now, and he smiled at her. She got up and bowed to him before leaving the bathroom. He heard the door open and close, so he also got up and turned around so he could look at himself in the mirror. When he saw his dark lips, he was startled. She did say it would look better when he transformed. He got closer to the mirror and was examining his face when he heard the bedroom door open. “That was quick. Did you find it already?”

There was no answer. Loki frowned and waited for her to come back in, but nothing happened. His breathing quickened, and he slowly approached the doorway.

“Gerd? Are you there?” He stepped out of the bathroom, and then a chill trickled down his spine.

“Hello, Loki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BWAHAHA CLIFFHANGER!!! Although I'm sure everyone already knows who it is.
> 
> Laufey is the king of sass. I can see where Loki gets it now.
> 
> Oh my God Thor, you weirdo. Just randomly sniffing people wtf?


	20. Jotunheim - Brotherly Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school this week, so I won't be updating as often. Probably monthly, but we'll see. Please just be patient with me.

“Thor, what are you doing? Gerd will be back any moment, and you’re not supposed to be here.”

“No one is allowed to see you until an hour before the ceremony. I’ve already been told. But in that short amount of time, your family will most-likely keep you to themselves.” Loki wanted to protest, but deep down he knew Thor was probably right. “Besides,” Thor continued as he stepped further into the room, “we have not spoken a word to each other since the night we arrived.”

“You’re right. My father has been teaching me things I would have learned as a child… had circumstances been different.” As Loki spoke, Thor gradually moved closer. “I thought you didn’t want to speak to me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, to be honest, I thought you despised me. And I know now that treating me the same as before was too much to ask of you.”

“No, Loki. I do not despise you. The revelation of your true parentage was a lot to take in. There are still so many things I fail to understand.” This was the most reserved and mature Loki had ever seen him. “And I will not lie to you. I cannot keep my promise.”

Loki’s eyes started to glisten, and he almost reached up to wipe the tears away, but he didn’t want to ruin Gerd’s hard work.

“I should have known better,” Loki hissed.

“You misunderstand me. I cannot look at you the same as before, because you are not the same. I cannot look at you as a brother, because that is no longer true.” Tears were flowing freely now.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I have had a lot of time to think, and I realized that there has been a change in me, as well. Something is different about the way I look upon you, when I think about you. There is something stirring within me, and new feelings have awakened. Have you felt it, too?” Again, Thor moved closer as he spoke. Loki took a couple steps back, and then he felt the wall behind him.

“Yes. I have.” Is that why Thor had trouble sleeping? Was he having strange dreams, too?

“Even as I look at you now, I feel this urge to…”

“To what?” Loki asked breathlessly. It was starting to feel very warm.

“To be near you.” As he said this, Thor closed the distance between them. He cupped Loki’s face and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. Thor leaned forward to kiss him, but Loki’s voice stopped him.

“What about Sif and the others?”

“I won’t tell them if you won’t.” Thor tried to kiss him again, but Loki quickly turned his head to the side.

“My lips are not completely dry yet.”

“No matter.”

Thor pressed his lips against Loki’s temple, and then he moved lower. He kissed Loki’s jawline and nibbled gently at the soft skin. Loki knew he should push Thor away, tell him to leave before Gerd came back. But to him, it seemed as if his dreams had suddenly become real. The kisses, the strength of the man’s arms, all of it was the same. Even the scent was there, although it was a little different. Loki reached up and ran his finger through Thor’s golden hair. It was shorter than the other man’s, but could it be Thor? Or perhaps in the future they would become bonded.

Loki tilted his head back and Thor’s lips moved down to his throat. Goosebumps appeared when Thor’s hand stroked the bare skin of his arm. The other arm wrapped around his slender waist and pulled him against Thor’s chest. Loki’s eyes flew open when he heard a knock at the door.

“Prince Loptr, I have returned!”

Loki wriggled out of Thor’s embrace and pushed against his chest; he barely moved an inch.

“Quick, hide behind the bed,” Loki hissed. Thor grumbled and shot a glare towards the closed door, but he did as he was told. “Come in, Gerd!” Loki adjusted his robes as the giantess entered the room.

“I am so sorry about the delay, my prince. I thought for sure I had everything. But then I remembered your jewelry was in a different location, since your statue’s head was still unfinished.”

“Well, hopefully my head won’t be a giant orb for much longer.”

“Yes. So, shall we finish? I am sure you are anxious to see your family.” Loki nodded and the two of them went back into the bathroom. 

They sat on the same stools as before, and Gerd unrolled a cloth and laid it flat across her lap. There were five silver objects, some with blue stones. Only one of the objects was familiar to Loki, the strange jagged necklace. All of the others were new to him. Gerd picked up the necklace first and fit it around Loki’s neck. As she was adjusting the piece, there was a strange rustle in the next room. Gerd turned her head towards the doorway and listened; Loki tried to keep his face blank. 

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That noise.”

“I didn’t hear any noise.” Gerd got up from the stool and stood in the doorway, looking around. Loki could feel his heart thudding in his chest. A moment later Gerd came back and sat down with a puzzled expression on her face.

“I could have sworn I heard something.” Loki only smiled at her.

Next, Gerd picked up one of the small objects. It was plain silver with intricate weaved designs, and it was slightly curved. She held it up to his ear and wrapped it around the cartilage. She did the same thing with an identical piece and fastened it to Loki’s other ear. Gerd picked up the circlet, and to Loki’s surprise it fit perfectly on his head. Sapphires were scattered throughout, and a stone the size of an almond was hanging in the middle of his forehead.

The final piece of jewelry was a silver gauntlet that encircled his left arm. It began at the wrist and extended almost to the bend of his arm. Loki flexed his hand and curled his fingers to see if he would be able to move the limb.

“How does everything feel, my prince?”

“Actually, I can barely feel them at all.”

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I know. And thank you.” Loki got up from the stool and turned around to look at his reflection. He almost didn’t recognize himself. Looking at the robe again, he felt sad that after this day, it would be put on the statue and remain there for eternity. His gaze shifted to where Gerd was watching him, and there was a big smile on her face. “What is it?”

“Well, forgive me for saying this, my prince. But you look just like a bride.” Loki’s cheeks darkened.

“Do I?”

“Yes, my prince. Very much so. And if I wasn’t already spoken for, I might ask to marry you.” She chuckled a little at the end, so Loki couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

“Are you already married? Or just betrothed?”

“Well, it’s kind of a secret.” Now Gerd was blushing. “I know I can confide in you, my prince. You seem like someone who would not betray another’s trust.”

“I like to think so.”

“Well, for a while now, Lord Freyr of Vanaheim has been courting me.” Loki’s mouth dropped open.

“Freyr? Really?” She nodded. “How long have you two been…?”

“We first met a few months ago, but I never thought anything about it. In the beginning I was hesitant to respond to his messages.” Loki looked confused. “His servant, Skirnir, came several times with letters written by Lord Freyr. He was supposedly too nervous to deliver them himself.”

“And now?” She smiled again, as if lost in a fond memory.

“I find Lord Freyr to be very charming. He is so kind to me.”

“We stayed with him recently. He was very welcoming.”

“I know. He told me about you all the last time I saw him. He said…” She frowned slightly. “He said you had lost your memories, and you were searching the Nine Realms for them.”

“He spoke the truth.”

“I am so sorry, my prince. I had no idea.”

“You and my father are the only ones who know. I would ask that you keep my amnesia a secret.”

“Of course, my prince.” She bowed her head.

“I will tell the rest of Jotunheim when I am ready. Perhaps after more of my memories have been found.” She remained silent and kept her head bowed. “I may not be an expert in love, but I think you and Freyr would make a good match.”

“Do you really think so, my prince?” Gerd asked, finally lifting her gaze from her lap.

“I do. And I hope that if you two decide to make your union official, that you are both happy together.”

“Thank you, my prince. And you as well.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Forgive me, my prince. I had assumed that you already had someone who loved you, and you them.” Loki thought back to the few short moments he had shared with Thor.

“I might. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it that way until now.”

“Well, I wish for you the same thing, Your Highness. That you meet that special person who loves you more than life itself; that person who can’t live without you, and you them.” Loki thought everything Gerd was saying was a bit extreme, but then he realized it sounded a lot like what his father had said about soul bonds.

“Is that how you feel about Lord Freyr?” Loki asked.

“Not exactly. I’m not really sure why I said that. Please forgive me, my prince.”

“There is nothing to forgive.” Gerd bend down and picked up her sack. She placed all of her supplies inside it, and after closing it, she got up from the stool. “What is the time?” Loki asked.

“It is almost an hour before the ceremony is supposed to begin. We finished a little bit early, so you will have a few extra minutes to spend with your family.”

“So I can see them now?”

“Yes. I am sure they are already waiting in the corridor to be granted permission to see you.”

“Okay. Thank you, Gerd.” She bowed to him and turned to leave when Loki remembered something. “Wait a moment. I have one more thing to ask you.”

“Yes, my prince?”

“Tell me again when it was you last heard from Lord Freyr.”

“It was a few months ago.”

“And you said he mentioned us staying with him.”

“Yes, my prince.”

“That’s very strange.”

“For what reason?”

“Well, I could have sworn that it was only three or four days since we were there.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes. After we left Alfheim in the morning, we went to a realm that no one was familiar with. There was an uninhabited island, but that is the only thing we know about it. Then we went to Svartalfheim, and then that same night we came here.” Gerd didn’t seem to know how to respond to that. “Time really does move differently when you travel between realms.”

“It would seem that way. Did you need anything else, Your Highness?”

“No, that will be all. Thank you, Gerd.” She bowed once more and exited the bathroom before he could call her back.

Loki listened as Gerd opened the bedroom door and uttered something. He heard another voice, which he immediately recognized to be his father’s, and then Gerd said something else. Laufey spoke once more, and then Loki felt the slight vibrations under his feet as multiple Frost Giants entered the bedroom.

“Loptr, are you ready for visitors?” Laufey asked.

“Yes, I am,” Loki answered as he walked out of the bathroom.

“Wow, Little Brother! You look really nice,” Byleistr explained.

“Thank you.”

“Are you nervous at all, Little Brother?” Helblindi asked.

“A little bit,” Loki admitted.

“Well, the ceremony itself is fairly simple, and short. There will be a luncheon immediately afterward, followed by games and different events. Lastly, a huge banquet will be held tonight, and the entire realm will be there.”

“That sounds exciting,” Loki replied. “So what did you all do this morning to keep busy?”

Byleistr then launched into a fantastical tale about the mock fighting in the courtyard. Helblindi made corrections when appropriate, and Laufey listened with his hands on Loki’s shoulders. By the time Byleistr finished talking, it was almost time for the ceremony.

Thor had been right; his family did spend the entire hour with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that escalated quickly (even though it took 20 chapters but whatevs). And great idea, Thor! Keep it a secret from your best friends! There's no possible way Sif would EVER find out! (Holds up "Sarcasm" sign.)
> 
> Also, if you are reading my Holocaust AU (which I really need to update...), you would already know about the story of Freyr and Gerd.


End file.
